shadows

August was the coldest month (4)

This was no place was an eleven year old. Elizabeth was at school. In the library. Accessing a student terminal. That much was fine. But she was also on the internet. On an anonymous network. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she was in a place where she didn’t belong.

None of the mattered. Elizabeth needed something. She needed help getting it. And she didn’t even know where to go to find that help. And so, she went to the movies for help. And she started with the simplest and the easiest and the lamest idea of them all. A simple search of the internet.

But she didn’t merely open a browser and rush to a popular search engine. She first logged into an anonymous network. Then found the most popular search engine in the underground. And there, she searched for private investigators. She picked the fourth on the list, simply because she liked the name. Blinder eye.

There were no websites down here. No direct communication, like a chat tool or a phone number. Just a series of characters. Her id was the same. Blinder eye’s id was the same. She wrote to Blinder eye, explaining her request, and sending the deposit in digital coins.

And then, she logged off.

Two days later, she was at another terminal in the school chemistry lab. It was after class. She borrowed the terminal giving the excuse of an emergency.

Blinder eye had replied. The job was accepted. The terms stated. She read them. Replied with her acceptance. And the rest of the payment.

Blinder eye replied immediately. Assuring completion of the job in a week.

A week later, she logged in. During class. She sat at the back. It was computer lab. And she had completed the assignment. Just hadn’t notified the teacher of it. Instead, she went under. Blinder eye had sent the file with the information. And thanked her for the job. Also wrote that she was always welcome in the future. Happy cooperation. She downloaded the file to an anonymous cloud account. From there, forwarded to another. Then downloaded to a physical server thousands of kilometres away, where the chain would end, if anyone came searching and was good enough to follow the traces. She wrote a bot that downloaded the file to a local terminal, transcribed it into a word document and emailed the word document to her. And then, the bot purged everything. The word document. The file. Itself. Everything was gone.

Later in the night, she was in bed in her room at home, lying on her stomach, the laptop open in front of her. Reading the word document. Everything was there.

Emilia Horn. Dropped off at Gilfoyle orphanage at two weeks old. Nothing about her parents. Raised at the orphanage. Quiet. Reserved. No friends. At the age of ten, won a competition conducted by the city. The prize was full scholarship to a private school. One of the best schools in the city. There, she made her first and only friend. Fanny Wye. Daughter of the Wye family.

Emilia didn’t lose the scholarship all the way to the end of university. She was just that smart.

A year after university, she had an affair with a married man who she met at a social event. A Mr Evan Greene. The affair lasted a year and a half. Then, Mrs Emily Greene, wife of Evan Greene, caught wind of the affair. Confronted the mistress. And the affair ended. There was no further contact since.

Emilia was pregnant from the affair. She had a boy. Emil Horn. There were complications at childbirth. Both with Emilia and external.

Emilia and Fanny made up, after the falling out because of the affair. The two signed as the parents of Emil. Emilia now raises Emil with friends, and Renee Wye, Fanny’s mother.

That was the end. And it was everything Elizabeth wanted. Emil. That was her brother’s name. Emil. It struck a chord. She heard something shatter inside her. And then, a flood of memories crashed upon her.

-

Emil was small. Tiny. He was fifteen, but looked more twelve, or even ten. The oversized clothes, hand me downs from his bigger brothers, made him look smaller. And the quiet, expressionless face attracted all the wrong attention. He was the perfect target. And everyone’s favourite punching bag. The boys and girls in his class. The boys and girls at school. Some of the teachers. All because they knew he was the bastard son of the Greene family and the legitimate sons, the twins, Edwin and Edgar, hated him. The twins were in the same year. And they were vocal about their approval of Emil’s bullying. Back home, Emil was worse than the servants. His room was the smallest room at the back of the house. Even the servants’ quarters were better furnished. He had a bed and an old table. And that was it. He didn’t make a sound at home. Even when the servants vented their frustrations on him.

And all of that would have been fine. Until, he suddenly locked himself in his rom. And stopped stepping out. Something had happened at school. The bullying had gotten out of hand. He had returned home early. b****y. Bruised. Struggling with every breath. The sight silenced the servants. He went straight to his room. And stayed there. For weeks. For months. For a whole year.

And then, he was sent away to a boarding school. As far as he was concerned, that was a release. Anywhere was better than here. Home was hell. Unfortunately, he never made it to the boarding school. Along the way, there was an accident. He was terribly injured. He hung on for a day, before succumbing to his injuries. He couldn’t even hold on until his family got there.

Emil had passed away at sixteen.

-

Elizabeth lay awake in bed. Crying. The tears mixing inseparably with the sweat. The tragic memories brought the tears. She was the elder sister. Four years elder. And she had done nothing. Sure, none of it had happened in front of her. She hadn’t seen anything. But she should have known. The evidence was right in front of her. Showing on Emil. On her little brother’s face. It wasn’t until too late that she realised how terrible a sister she was.

She had gone to see Emil with her father. No one else could be bothered. Her father was sad. But the grief was brief. Fleeting. Lasting a minute at most. Then, he was all business. The body would be cremated by the hospital. Her father signed off on it. And then, they left.

She, on the other hand, couldn’t forget. She had nightmares for years. The first few weeks, she couldn’t sleep. The sight of her brother, charred beyond recognition, lying on the cold hospital bed kept her awake at night. And during the day, she saw the quiet boy everywhere. And the more she looked, the more she saw. The servants’ mocking. Her family’s disgust. Her own blindness. No one had even recognised the little boy. And now that he was gone, it made absolutely no difference.

The grief, the pain was all very real. She felt it even now. In a different life. One where Emil wasn’t a part of the family. Wasn’t a part of her life. All because Emilia had survived, and Emil hadn’t lost his mother while he was taking birth. This was good, she thought.

She was crying because of the sorrow. But she would be fine once the tears were spent. Her brother was fine now. All was okay.

The sweat was from something else. Something dark. Something terrifying. She was cold all over. Shivering. She didn’t dare move, afraid of what might jump out from under the bed. Or leap out from behind the mirror. But she had to do just that. Move. Get off the bed. Walk to the mirror. Because someone was calling.

The girl in the mirror was bigger. Older. Almost an adult.

“So, you are finally here, little me,” the girl in the mirror said, in a voice that was the exact same.

“Who are you?” Elizabeth asked in a quivering voice.

“Who do you think? Don’t you already know?”

“You’re me.”

“Yes. I’m you. Another you. From another world. Another time. Another reality. And here we are.”

“Why are you here?”

“I don’t know, Lizzy. You tell me.”

The two girls stood staring at each other in confusion. Neither very sure about what was happening. Or why. And both, terrified.

“Emil,” Elizabeth said after the longest silence.

“Emil,” the girl in the mirror repeated. “How is he?”

“I don’t know. He isn’t here. He’s with his mother. And his family.”

“Good,” the girl in the mirror said, looking happy. “But then, how do you know?”

“I don’t know,” Elizabeth answered honestly. “I had dreams. So many. All the same. All showing him. He was so sad. I had to know. I went looking.”

“You went looking?”

Elizabeth nodded.

“I went looking. I found a private investigator. Found Emil. And Emilia. And the rest of his family. He’s fine now.”

“How do you know to do that?”

“I saw in movies.”

The girl in the mirror was impressed. She didn’t hold back with the praise. And it was all the more enjoyable because it was as if she was praising herself.

“Can you tell me something?” Elizabeth asked.

“Yeah,” the girl in the mirror answered, nodding.

“I understand the sorrow,” Elizabeth said, her hand on her chest. “I saw my brother dead. And then I saw all that I had been blind to. It was so sad. And so, I am in tears. But why am I afraid?”

The girl in the mirror was shocked. Too much to speak.

“You don’t remember?” The girl asked.

And before Elizabeth could answer, before the question registered, the girl was gone. The lights came on, drowning out the shadows. She was alone no more. Her mother was standing at the door, looking worried.

“What are you doing?” Emily asked.

She rushed over to her daughter and pulled the little girl into her arms.

-

Emily had been asleep when something woke her. She had always been a light sleeper. And had been woken up by little things more times than she could possibly keep count of. She wasn’t surprised tonight either. Her throat was dry. She thought that must have been what woke her. She was thirsty. The bottle by the bedside was empty. Which was surprising. She didn’t remember drinking it all, and she always brought along a full bottle. It was too late in the night to give it too much thought though. She got up. And headed down to the kitchen. Since she was awake, she might get herself something nicer.

She decided to take the long route. Walking past the children’s rooms. Elisha was first. She was asleep like the sleeping beauty. Straight. On her back. Her hands by the sides. Her lips parted. She was so pretty even asleep.

Next was the boys’ rooms. Both in their beds. Both sleeping like monkeys. The telepathic connection between the twins was so much more evident now, as they slept. They were in the exact same positions. Like they were both one as they slept.

Last was Elizabeth’s. Emily pushed the door open the tiniest c***k. Just enough to get a glimpse of the empty bed. Frightened, she pushed the door fully open. And in the velvet light of the night, she saw her daughter standing in front of the mirror, talking to herself. She switched the lights on, and rushed over.

-

“Lizzy, look at me,” Emily said, grabbing her daughter’s face.

“Mommy,” Elizabeth said, smiling at her mother like she used to when she was Elisha’s age. “Why aren’t you asleep mommy?”

“I was thirsty,” Emily answered. “Why aren’t you asleep? Who were you talking to?”

Elizabeth didn’t answer. She seemed to lost in thought as she stared at her mother. And there was a mask on her face, hiding her thoughts. Which was unusual, to say the least. Her mother had always been able to read her mind. Until now.

“What is it Lizzy?” Emily pushed.

“I was talking to someone?” Elizabeth asked, looking genuinely confused.

Emily’s heart stopped for a second. She quickly gathered herself. And shook her head.

“No, Lizzy. No. Mommy was wrong. Why are you awake?”

“I don’t know. I thought I was asleep. And then you woke me.”

“I’m sorry Lizzy. Let’s go back to bed, alright?”

Elizabeth nodded. She let her mother take her back to bed. Tuck her in. And kiss her goodnight.

“Sleep now, Lizzy. Call for mommy if you need her, alright?”

Elizabeth nodded, with a sweet smile.

“Goodnight mommy.”

Emily kissed her daughter again, and walked out. Out in the hallway, she was thirsty no more. She rushed back to her room. To her bed. To her sleeping husband. She loved the man, despite his faults. She forgave him for his one time straying. And they were now closer than ever, happier. She was reaching for him, when she paused. Her eyes paused upon the bottle. It was full with water. She shuddered. And shook her husband awake.

Evan woke up with a frown. But the moment he saw his wife’s face, all the complaints were silenced.

‘What’s wrong?” He asked, taking her hands.

“Something’s not right,” Emily answered, her voice trembling.

-

After her mother left, after the lights were off, and she was by herself in the quiet and dark room, Elizabeth looked at the mirror. She had never been afraid of the dark. She had never been afraid of the night. And that made it easy now.

The mirror was empty. The girl, the other her, was gone. How could she know when they would get to meet again?

She rolled back onto her back. Looking up. And thinking about her brother. Emil.

Maybe I should go find him, she thought.

And as she waited on sleep, she didn’t notice the darkening shadows around her.