Chasing her Apollo

“You shouldn’t have known. Oh little naive Cecilia. Your end has come.” A shot is fired. An inexplicable pain is spreading in my body. I’m grabbing my chest. My white shirt is soaked in blood. Drenched in my blood. My breathing becomes shallow and I fall to the ground. Leon leans over me. Both hands hold the g*n. He wants to shoot again. “Please”, I beg, and now look to the right. Leandra drinks her drink laughing while she looks at Luca. He’s unconscious. “Death to you bitch.” Leon’s cold-blooded eyes meet mine. One more shot falls before I see nothing than black. Sweaty, I straighten up and look around me. I’m in my bed. Automatically, I grab to my chest. The blue nightgown I wear to sleep every time is clean. There’s no blood. I’m looking straight at the cabinet mirror. My brunette hair is in all directions and my green eyes are wide. I try to breathe calmly before my memories come back. Leon my fiancé and Leandra my best friend. They both tried to kill me. Luca, who was suddenly there to help me. Who confessed his love to me. Was I dreaming? It felt so real. That hellish pain. The bullet that tore my chest apart. It hit my heart. What a dream it was. I pull the blanket off my legs and sit by the edge of the bed. I was just dreaming it all. It was just a nightmare. Nothing to worry about. I get up and go to my bathroom. I was the only one with my parents who had their own bathroom in the room. My brother Noel wasn’t that lucky. But since he is hardly at home anyway, it didn’t bother him too much. The university is very demanding. After all, medicine is not an easy course of study. In the bathroom I let the water run and look at the clock above the mirror. Just before 8:00. After washing my face with cold water, I brush my teeth and try to tame my hair. I don’t look good. Deep shadows protrude under my eyes and my face looks very pale. Who can blame me after dreaming that my fiancé and my best friend would cheat on me and kill me? The air closes up before I think about it again. I shake my head and pinch my cheeks to bring some color to my face. After I also manage to change, I walk down to the kitchen with small steps. My dad sits at the dining table like he does every morning and forks the pancakes. I see Mom next to the stove. When she sees me, she smiles at me and asks me to sit down with a nod. “Good morning.” I sit down and grab the orange juice to pour myself something. “Morning”, Dad looks at me briefly from the side before turning his attention back to the newspaper. The same thing every time. My relationship with my father has always been a bit complicated. After he found out that I didn’t want to study medicine like my brother, but marketing, he freaked out. Still, I have the feeling that even if I went to medical school, he would never respect me as much as Noel. Because he’s a man. All he ever wanted was a boy. When my mother’s first child was me and also an image of him, he didn’t really like it at all.  Even as a child, and even today, I get the cold shoulder. Even though I’m 25, I’m treated like a child by him who doesn’t get his s**t together. It already depressed me but what should I have done. Anyways, my mother’s love came twice as much. I sip the juice and look at my mum. “When do I get my pancakes?” “Don’t be so impatient and let your mother do it in peace.” My father looks up from the newspaper before he gives me a stern look and then lowers it again. I’m twisting my eyes inside. I talked to Mum and not to him. “Come on, oh damn it.” My father and I look up right away. Mum keeps her hand under water while wiping the other one by the apron. “Next time, I won’t use oil.” She shakes her head. “That’s what happens when you let your children rush you, Ingrid.” I ignore my father and get up to go to her. “How many times do you want to burn yourself”, I say jokingly and hand her a towel. Two months ago, she burned herself making pancakes. Oddly enough, Dad said the same sentence. “I haven’t burned myself lately.” My mom takes the towel and looks at me confused. Now I’m the one frowning. I’m looking at her hand. There’s a red line on the same spot as two months ago. But there is no other line to be seen. My mother’s dry hand doesn’t have any injuries. I sit back confused and slowly take a bite from the pancakes. “When exactly is Noel coming back?" I ask and put some maple syrup on my pancakes. “Ingrid, what’s your kid talking about? What have I done wrong again? “Dad I’m right next to you, why don’t you talk to me directly?" My mom stands next to my dad and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Now let the child eat in peace.” Then she looks at me. “Sweetheart Noel just left yesterday.” I swallow and cough. My mother immediately hands me the orange juice, which I empty in one sip. After I manage to breathe, I can think straight again. Left yesterday? What’s going on? Noel came back to visit us a month ago. An uncomfortable feeling is spreading in my body. “He always comes after two months on the 12th or 13th and stays till the 20th.” How could he have left yesterday when yesterday was June 7th? “Yes, and that’s why he left yesterday. Today is the 21st of April. Why do you ask such questions? You said goodbye to him yourself.” My mother looks confused at my father, who is just twisting his eyes. I have a cold shiver running down my back. How can that be? Am I dreaming? I’m starting to remember the dream. I get a bullet in the chest. It was June 7th. That’s not possible. “Is everything okay, honey?” I’ll leave my food and get up. “Yes, I have to go to work.” I’ll go to the hallway and put on my shoes. After I want to grab my jacket I look at the calendar next to the coat rack. The 21st of April is framed. Maybe I’m still dreaming. If that’s the case, it’s time to wake up. I put on my jacket and step out the door. The gust of wind makes me close my eyes. I just want to park my car on my regular spot before a black car squeezes in. That’s not true now. Not even in my own dream can I be lucky. If that asshole gets out of the car, he will see. The car stops and no. No one but Luca steps out. So it is him. When he sees me, he gives me a stupid grin before he turns his back and walks in. Such an asshole. He could see I was going to park there. It’s the same with him every time. He was already annoying when he was in college with me. When we got an offer from the same company after we graduated, I thought it was a joke for the first time. I thought I’d be rid of him after college, and then I had to realize that I’m probably going to see him every day for the rest of my life. When I think of him, my dream comes back to me. He tried to save me and confessed his love to me. That’s ridiculous. That alone shows that it could only have been a dream. Luca Evans would do anything but save me. He’d be very pleased if I wasn’t around anymore. Then he would be promoted. Right now, it’s a fight. I’ll look around. There’s no room anywhere else. Then I’ll have to drive around. After I finally find a place and then chat back to the company for 6 minutes, my facial expression is anything but pleasant as I enter the entrance. Lianne, the woman at the front desk is smiling at me and waving at me. I raise my hand for a moment before I go to the elevator. At the top I make my way to my office and see Lucas' office on the way. Since the doors are made of glass, I immediately recognize his stupid grin when he sees me. I’ll twist my eyes and go on. Once I am in my office, I take a deep breath.