Bound To You.

Chapter One. Vivan_ I came home a day early. No calls. No texts. I wanted his shock, his smile, his arms around me like nothing had changed. I wanted to feel chosen again after months of bullets, commands, sleepless nights, and missing pieces of myself left behind in the desert. The front door creaked as I pushed it open. “Jack?” I called softly. “Baby, I'm back." No answer. The house felt… wrong. Too warm, too alive. There was music upstairs….low, rhythmic, careless. And perfume, not the clean, familiar scent I wore. This one was sweet, invasive, like it had no right being here. My chest tightened as the worst case scenario played in a loop. I climbed the stairs slowly, each step heavier than the last. A laugh floated down the hallway….A woman’s laugh. The bedroom door was half opened…I didn't want to believe my ears so I decided to see for myself. My hand trembled as I pushed open the bedroom door. Time stopped. Jack was on our bed. Our matrimony bed. “What the bloody hell is going on here?!!" I yelled, cutting short their moment. His head snapped up. “Vivian?!” The woman shrieked and clutched the sheets. I stared at her first, young, pretty, naked then back at my husband. “So this is what you do when I’m serving my country? Picking up young ladies to satisfy yourself while I risk myself to keep you bloody safe?!” I asked, my voice eerily calm. “Viv, it’s not–listen–” Jack scrambled off her, grabbing his boxers. “You weren’t supposed to be back yet.” I laughed. A sharp, broken sound. “Wow. So this was scheduled? You really wanted me out of the picture, isn't it?” The woman swallowed nervously. “Jack said you two were basically over..why is she here?.” I picked up the lamp and smashed it against the wall. It exploded into glass and sparks. “Get Out.” I said with my voice firmer than ever. “Babe, I was lonely,” Jack said desperately. “You were gone. I needed someone, I needed heat–” he stepped forward trying to touch me. I slapped him hard. “Don’t ever touch me again or I'll lose a bullet in your skull.” Silence filled the room and I could hear their heart pound loud and fast. “Both of you,” I said, pointing toward the door. “Out. Now.” Jack tried again. “Vivian, please–” “Naked,” I added coldly. “Leave naked. Exactly how you disrespected me because you don't deserve to be called a man..” “Viv, please listen to me" his voice faded into thin air as I pushed them out. He hesitated, then obeyed. I locked the door behind them and slid to the floor, my breath collapsing into sobs I didn’t recognize. My brother was dead. Our baby was gone too and now this. How could he do such a thing to me even when he knew how devastating it is to lose a child. I wrapped my legs closer to my chest as I weep bitterly and God knows how much I was thinking about it. How much I suffered myself because of him and all he had to do was cheat on me with some lowlifes. The day went faster as I fell to my side and slept off. I was too sad to think of anything else. By evening, a sharp knock was heard on the door, jolting me out of my sleep. I peeped through the door to see who was at the door. It was my best friend, Brooke. I opened the door slowly, it has been seven months since I last saw her and the excitement I had pictured in my head wasn't playing out right at the moment. “Hi baby, I heard you were back,” she said, then froze when she saw my face. “Oh God. What happened?” “He cheated,” I said flatly as I had lost even energy to cry or even think. She cursed. “That bastard, bloody motherfucker.” “Right on our bed Bee, he brought in some cheap hoe, after everything I have been through because of him just to get cheated on." I said, my word catching in my throat. " I'm sorry…I'm sorry you went through all of this…let it all out.” She said as she pat my head gently. I hung on to her arms like it was my last surviving grace, the world spun as I let out the tears, my heart heavy as well as my eyes. “I just want to forget tonight,” I whispered. “Please.” Tears found an escape and everything I had built broke down. “I know, I know." She said. After about an hour of wallowing in pain, Brooke pulled me off her gently, wiped my tears. “He is undeserving of your beautiful tears, you know that right?" I couldn't move neither my head or my mouth, I looked down in despair. She pulled my head up and made me look right into her eyes. “Answer me Viv, do you know he is undeserving of your tears?" She asked again and I responded faintly. “Yes." My voice didn't go beyond few inches. “That is too low of an answer for a Queen like you…do you know he is undeserving of your tears?” She asked again, this time with a louder voice. "Yes!!” I screamed with all my mind. "Good girl, now we're gonna forget about him and have the best time of our lives tonight hmm" “How are we gonna do that?" I asked and she smiled.. The club was loud, too loud and I know if I stayed for too long it could burst my ears. “No, no, no…this is too much…I can't do this right now.” I said and immediately turned to leave but Brooke stopped me. "You go nowhere, you're here to stay and party away your pain.” She responded. "I'm too old for this Bee, please let me go back home.” "And continue to wallow in pain and misery? Not on my watch." Just in, her husband who happened to own the club and the mini hotel waved at her and she waved back but I bowed briefly as a sign of greetings to him. "Wayne knows we're here already, it will be rude to leave without any interaction.” She said as she dragged me through the crowd and eventually we're in the VIP area. "Hi baby.” She said as she grab on him and kissed him so passionately. I immediately looked away feeling a wave of sadness, she noticed and immediately stopped. "Hi Vivian, I didn't know you were back, when did you get back?" He asked. I cleared my throat before responding. “Today, a couple hours ago." I said. “It's so good to see you again." He said as we hugged then he ushered me to sit. “C'mon, have a seat." Gesturing his hand towards the arm chair in the dark session. I sat down, the noise felt little quiet and the light was invisible. “This is better." I said to Brooke. “I know and I am proud of you." She responded while rubbing my knee softly. After a few minutes, drinks were poured and we both raised our cups as we cheered. “To freedom." Brooke said and immediately glasses clicked and we drank. The drink tasted bitter at first before giving a whirl of pleasure after, I like the taste and how intoxicating it makes me feel. I have a low tolerance for alcohol or anything alcohol, that is why I avoid it so much. “Viv, slow down,” Brooke warned. “You’re drunk.” “I don’t care….I want more” I said as I gulp down my seventh shot and I asked the attendant to pour more. "No Viv, you can't take more than you have taken…you are gonna ruin your dress and I don't want that for you.” She added. "It's just a drink, I can handle my alcohol. Stop ruining the moment for me Bee and let me drink away cause if I don't drink, I would cry.” I responded with my cracked voice. " Okay, fine…just one more." “No two, just two." “No Viv, one is enough for now..you can take the rest later." “I don't believe that so I'll take my two now.” "I promise, you'll take the other one once the rest has settled.” "Promise?” I asked, putting my pinky finger out. She clocked it as a sign of promise. " I promise.” “Thank you… now pour me my alcohol!!!” I screamed. " Yayyyyyyy!!!” Immediately it was poured I drank all at once again. After a few minutes, I was feeling nauseous. "Are you fine baby?” Brooke asked. I shook my head negatively. "Should we go to the bathroom?” She asked. I nodded fast as I could feel my throat acting funny. She immediately pulled me up and took me to the bathroom. "Let it all out, let it out.” She said as she pat my back while my head was bent into the zinc." I was still throwing up when her phone rang. "Hi, who is this?” "What?, I'm coming now, hold on.” She said as she ended the call. "I have to go now but I'll be right back, Wayne broke his hand.” I gestured her to go and attend to him. "I'm sorry, I'll be back for you ok? I love you.” She said while running out of the toilet. I emptied my tummy, cleaned up the toilet, helped myself to the basin to wash my face. I was still drunk and less nauseated. After I was done, I staggered through the hallway, clinging to every doorknob as a support system. I could see the entrance door as I walk but my vision distorted. I didn't know when I clung to this particular doorknob and it opened wide, I fell on my back, I had lose balance, I got up after a few seconds and walked into the room completely. It was really big and luxurious, I could see the painting of the room…dull and unique just the way I want it, I trailed the wall till I hit a stop then I saw the bed, wide and comfy. I ran to it and fell on my face. It was so comfortable and soft, it gave the peaceful emotion I needed at that moment. In less than a minute I slept off. ____________________ I let out a soft moan, the hand feels warm and cold at the same time, making my body shiver. My eyes were still closed as I grab my hair gently, feeling every sensation from being touched in my dream. I like the feeling and I don't wanna lose this moment, so I closed my eyes so tight as I lose my fingers into the hair below my thighs. After a few minutes, my brain caught on as I could feel a figure on me. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a man kissing my neck and biting it softly, I wanted to scream everything in me wanted to push him away but there was something that pressed my voice and strength down. Fuck, I love this feeling. And my body feels like it is on fire and every part of me wants to be f****d by this stranger.