Taste of life

Life Is A Struggle

Jen

I am really happy that my mama had managed not to give up that easily and is on the road to recovery. I am feeling soo happy that there are no words that I could used to expressed my heartfelt gratitude. When sometimes you know that God is testing your faith to the limit but you still cannot give up without a fight? 

That is the feeling right now. Happy that we go through one obstacle and knew there are many more coming. Four weeks later, my mama is being discharge to go home for the first time in so many months. It is such a joy to see how happy she is to be able to come back HOME. 

Her eyes shone with happiness and gratitude. Even though she know the future is a long way from recovery but she still put on a brave smile which I admire the most. She is always a fighter. Few week later I bring her back to the hospital to start her chemotherapy. 

We got to get there early in the morning to wait for her turn and after half an hour therapy she starts throwing up. It is such a painful way to kill the cell cancer that it kills almost everything from the inside. I can see from her face that she is having a really hard time with the therapy. 

After a few sessions of therapy, she started to lose weight and hairs. Her skin grows really dry and she do not have the energy to eat all. It is very sad but I am always there to carry her and look after her. I bathed and changed her, feed her and put on moisturizer on her skin as the radioactive is just practically killing everything. I even went out to get her a scarf to put around her head as she had loss all her hairs. 

Her mood swing is also getting out of hands from time to time which is understandable as no human can withstand this kind of torture with a smile on their face. But no matter how bad is it I am just glad that I am able to stay by her side to fight with her. At least I still got a chance to do so which I gladly took it. Life hade been pretty much the same for the next few months.

Sherley

 My life is just so busy with my work, house chores, looking after Ann and also entertain my domineering husband. I am so sad that I have not got the chance to sneak out to visit my mama properly as my husband refused to let me get near my mama just in case I bring back any viruses home. 

I can only steal a quick visit to the hospital without him knowing during lunch hour. I know it is really hard for my younger sister Jen to look after mama but there is nothing I could do at the moment. Life is not easy for me and my selfish husband is not helping at all. 

When I received the news from Jen about mama not going to be able to make it, my whole world collapsed. I keep asking myself why am I soo week as to let someone bully me to submit to him? Can I live like this for the rest of my life this way? 

It is because that church goers does not encourage divorce and will be frown upon so I could not even get the courage to do so. Every time I argue with him he will get the bible out and ask me repent my sins. This is indeed a very sick life. 

I go home one day after my mama had been discharge from the hospital and home resting, to visit her. My mama knows how badly I want to visit but could not and it shows in her eyes. It shows the understanding when she look in my eyes. I feel comforted when I get her message from across the room as he forbid me to go too closed to my mama. 

I pluck up the courage and ask for a divorce one day. He said I will regret it the moment I step out of the house. I ask my sister Ann to pack up and we leave straight away without looking back. I can feel the burden had been removed from my shoulder and I have bounces on my steps. We both moved back home to keep mama accompanied. 

Mama is really pleased to see us of course. She had been hoping for my visit for soo long even though I never show up and still welcome me back with open arms which made me very upset. But she told me to be brave just like her and moved on with my life as she will always have my back no matter what. 

Of course that stubborn ex would not let me go that easily. He called every night to harassed me and disturb my sleep until one night my sister Jen got enough of his nuisance and tell him to "FXXX OFF" and never to call again or else she will go to the church and let everyone know that he is not what everyone's think he is. That put a complete stop to his nuisance. Then onwards I lead a peaceful and stress free life even though I have to give up my part of the house to settle the divorced.

It is a shame but definitely no regret as there is nothing better that having someone to restrict your every move and decision using a bible and not love. Once moved back I am able to help my sister look after my mama and also with her children surrounded her that will give her the will power to live on. Live is full of hope and as the saying goes "when there is a will there is a way". That give our family hope and light for what tomorrow would brings.