Mate, I’m listening

If you think a buzzing alarm is annoying in the mornings thinks again. Have you ever been woken up by vibrations and light flashes? Didn’t think so. I guess it is the only way to wake me up though, as annoying as it is. You see, in the simplest term, I’m deaf. I have been since the day I was born, never spoken a word let alone a sentence. As I think. To be frank, I couldn’t hear myself if I did. Since I’ve grown up like this, I’m naturally good at lip reading and signing is the only language I know. I guess that’s one thing that came is handy, I got to skip out on Spanish and French due to the pointlessness of it. Though, of course, the school didn’t put it in such terms. More light floods my room as I look towards the door. My mother, a brown haired woman with a slightly pointed nose, walks in and switches on the lamp. Squinting my eyes I feel her eyes land on me. Judging by the strange vibrations in my throat I either squeaked or growled, that’s always been difficult to tell. Smiling, I try to regain whatever composure I have left. “Good morning Harper,” My Mother coos, despite talking it she still signs it- maybe she hopes I’ll be able to pick up on how her lips move when she says certain things. I do of course. I lift my hands out of my duvet to reply to her. Instead of signing an answer she nods and gives a thumbs up. Her index finger soon points to me and I repeat her response. A light smile settles onto her lips as she sits beside me. On her lap was a tray she had carried into my room. There was a pancake on top with maple syrup- my all time favourite. My hands move frantically and she laughs. Whenever my mother laughs I always observe how her shoulders roll back and forth with each little giggle. Her hands sometimes clench as the laughter takes over her. Slowing her laughter, my mother places the tray in front of me,” Of course it’s for you. It is a special day after all, your first day at a real school,” I know I definitely squealed then. Up until last year I had been home-schooled. My Mum didn’t want to put me in a normal school in case I was bullied or picked on. However, I’m not one of those super smart whizz kids- I’m alright at stuff. Seeing as I was now 16 (and the local high-school had education up to 18) my Mum agreed to let me attend this year. I’d only ever really seen those typical high school films. You know, the ones with the queen bees who make the other suffer which leads to a change blah blah blah. I’m pretty sure you get the point. Just thinking about getting to make friends and maybe even find love made my legs tingle. Love, wow I longed for it. Someone who would come along and make me feel warm, give me butterflies. Every night I would look at my ceiling imagining a handsome guy coming in and sweeping me off my feet. What? I’m a sucker for romance. “Okay sweetie,” My mum replies, getting up and heading to the door. Before she leaves she turns around,” I’ll be downstairs waiting for you,” It took me a total of twenty minutes to eat, sort my hair out and get dressed. I may be deaf but that doesn’t mean I’m blind, a girl has got to look her best. Overall, my most perfect outfit for today was simple: a plain red t-shirt with black jeans. Settling for putting my black hair in a messy bun, I finally deemed myself ready. To be honest, I wasn’t a fan of looking in the mirror as I always felt disgusted. Today wasn’t the day to be down though. Behind me in the mirror my brother Max stood,” What are you doing Harp? You’re taking ages,” I roll my eyes and turn to him. Just like mum he laughs at how my signing shows my frustration. The way my muscles seem more stretched shoe my annoyance. His laugh involved more of his waist moving backwards and forwards, when he laughed it was truly from his gut. Before he could say anything else o left the bathroom and headed downstairs. Scents of strong perfume and used oil filled my nose as I crinkled it slightly. I think the perfume was mum’s favourite Á la Rosé or something along those lines. It was a hint of strawberry with fresh cinnamon. “Hello Harper,” My step-dad greeted, signing the phrase. David held his hand on his chin as a sign he was thinking,” Your Mum said you just need something to eat and a pen for now. The school will sort you out with the rest,” Slowly, and I mean slowly, the forty minutes I’d left in my schedule passed. It was painful. Honestly, I paced around the house at least ten times, I couldn’t even focus on reading- and that’s one of my favourite things to do! But finally, there were five minutes left. What if I’m doing the wrong thing? Thoughts like those overcame me as I stopped my pacing and just stared at the floor. Maybe I was crazy, a deaf girl going to a hearing school. Pretty sure I’m a living juxtaposition. For those who don’t know, a juxtaposition is to have two contrasting ideas put together. My personal favourite, despair and hope. So you can see what I mean with me being juxtaposed. However my worries were too late, I couldn’t back out now. Mum walked me to the car, her usually beaming smile was a thin line but she forced the edges to curl. She was nervous too I guess. Her hands clasped the steering wheel tightly, her muscles strained as she reversed out of the drive. The car ride is silent. Well it always is for me but I can tell that nothing was said and no music was played. We usually listen to upbeat songs because I can feel the vibrations. Today however the radio was shut off, mum had her lips clasped closed and Max didn’t even annoyingly push he seat as far back as he could, that I was slightly thankful for. I sighed, I tried to do it quietly but with no pitch control Max heard and turned to face me,” Remember to be wary of the werewolves,” As he signs the word werewolves I knew I groaned loudly because of the amused look on his face. Ever since I was a little girl Max would tell me ridiculous stories of people who could change into a wolf, bigger than any bear and stronger than any machine. As a kid I was crazy for the idea but after many times trying to ‘shift’ I realised my brother was nothing but a compulsive liar. His sudden dark eyes made me giggle, and he thought it was easy to tease me! One thing he always mentioned in his stories were how the wolves always had some kind of ‘soulmate’. They would look each other in the eye and know they were destined to be together. What a load of rubbish, I think. Soon the car turned up a winding road, one that lead to a tarmac car park. Many people walked in and out, what I assume would follow was voices- it had to be very loud. I turned my eyes to the other window and felt myself gag. Across from our car a boy with rich brown hair was snogging the face off of a girl with blonde. I stuck my tongue out lightly and gazed to my brother, he didn’t seem fazed. I guess he’s used to it seeing as he’s been in this school for a while. “That’s Roxanne and Peter,” Max explained, making a mini-gagging expression which caused me to giggle. So I know who to stay away from, the ones who have too many hormones to manage. I didn’t need their drama, which I guessed they often had. Maybe I was being too stereotypical but teenage films were quite literally all I had to base my opinions of high-school on. Mum opened her car door and froze for a minute, her hands clenched on the vehicle door. I watched as her shoulders tensed then relaxed before she exited the car, her back was facing us so we couldn’t see her face. She was as worried about today as I was, if not even more. Her daughter who had been so dependent on her for all of her life was now gaining a little bit of independence. I’d be petrified if I were in her position. Soon I swallowed my fears and followed suit. Pushing the car door open with all of my might, the feeling of air rushing against body fuelled me with adrenaline. Scents of overused spray and perfume- typical teens hiding their true scent. Hormones really do dictate you. Max tapped me on the shoulder once and gestured for me to follow him. People of all shapes and sizes looked our way before continuing with their conversations. At least they weren’t staring, well they wouldn’t be yet. Mum gave me a hug before heading back to the car. She had to get home so she could go to work. Similar to me, it was her first day at her new job. Seeing as she didn't have to look after me all day, she could actually do something different with her time. As we entered the main building more scents filled my nose, overwhelming my senses greatly. I had to stop to take a deep breath, it was all getting a bit much. However, I couldn’t turn back now- I had to keep going. Suddenly Max was nearly hurtled over by a dark-coloured boy with thin black shaven hair. They both wore massive smirks, their shoulders were loosed and relaxed despite the fact they were practically wrestling each-other. The boy jumped off of my brother and smiled at me, I smiled back. “What is your name?” He asked, I could easily tell what he was saying as his mouth was rather expressive when he spoke. I signed to him, stupidly waiting for an answer. His facial expression turned blank as his arms dropped to his sides in confusion. Looking to the ground, I felt red rush up to my cheeks at my foolishness. Had I really signed to someone I’d only just met? I really need to get my head sorted if high-school is going to work out. “This is my sister Harper,” Max explained, signing along so I could understand better,” She is deaf,” The confusion vanished from the boy’s face as he pulled his bag from his back and quickly searched through it. Eagerly, he took a pen out of his pocket and scribbled onto the notepad he’d managed to find as he fumbled through his stuff. After a few short moments he turned the notepad around. “My name is Tyler,” The note read in big dark letters, I pointed to the notepad and his handed it to me. I thought for a moment before writing something,” Are you one of Max’s friends?” A small smile crept on Tyler’s face as he scribbled a response,” Unfortunately, yes. He doesn’t pay me enough though!” A laugh escaped my mouth as Max looked offended. He turned his head away, showing his annoyance. I quickly took back the notepad. “You get paid?! That is so unfair! I have to be his sister for free!” As I show him the note his mouth opened widely, like he was howling with laughter. I like Tyler, he is nice. Unlike most people I’ve met, he is actually trying to get to know me instead of talking to me through my brother. He communicated with me, me! “As fun as this is,” My brother signed (and spoke),” Harper needs to get her schedule and someone is going to give her a tour,” Tyler nodded, his bright white teeth on display. He held out his hand and I took it, we shook. It was formal yet I felt a strong sense of pride as we did. Before he turned to leave he waved goodbye and I waved back. Max continued to walk forward so I followed him. We kept turning down corridors and walking through doors. People pushed past and many just loitered in the halls. Increasing my pace, I tried desperately to keep up with my brother but other students were getting in the way. Soon his familiar hair was lost in the crowd, I was looking around trying to find him. Moving to the side of the corridor, I decided to wait instead of continuing and getting more lost. If I stayed here, Max would eventually find me. So I decided to people watch. Many passed by, some blonde or brown haired. There were many different skin colours and weights, all of them bubbling with different personalities to explore. I was so deep in thought I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around and felt my heart skip in my chest. Two gorgeous blue eyes were gazing into mine, full of a strange possessive loving feeling. They belonged to the most handsome boy I had ever seen, and his eyes only seemed to be focused on me…