I Shouldn't

CHAPTER 4

LUCAS

Who the hell is this guy?First Clara completely ignores me to hug him.He kisses her cheek.Then they both are laighing at a joke I don't know.I remember she never mentioned a boyfriend.He is definitely not her brother.I can feel it. So I come to their place and pop the question.That guy is good looking I'll be honest.Gentlemanly. Even Leah seems to like him."Ford meet Lucas, Leah's cousin and a not very noce neighbor.And no.Ford is not my boyfriend." Clara says.Oh so his name is Ford."Hi Lucas, nice to meet you" Ford lays his hand out for a handshake.I give my hand to him and nod with a serious look.Firm grip he has.

I join them for breakfast.I come to know that Ford is a GM in a Chain of luxury hotels.Turns out he is friends with Clara since childhood.Clara's mom died when she was eight.She was raised by Ford's mom.It means that Ford is brother-like to Clara.

Maybe.Fuck.why do i even care?

I was cold to Ford.I couldn't be friendly.I know pink must be thinking I am so mean but I am unable to like Ford.Also he seems so good, that makes me dislike him even more.

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CLARA

Ford left an hour and a half after breakfast.Now Leah an I are chilling on the couch after being done with cleaning.We will order in for lunch.Leah looks at me deep in thought,then says,"Lucas has changed since you moved in." I felt strange at her declaration.With a confused look , i stared at her asking for more.She further added,"Seems like someone finally got his attention.You are special Clara.He may seen dramatic and unbothered from the outside but he's hiding alot of pain."

Something tugged at my heart on this revelation."He thinks that we dont know him but thats where he is wrong.I can feel that you are making him forget."

All i say in return is,"I dont understand it Leah, what am I doing and what pain are you talking about."leah answers,"i cannot exactly tell you the issue because thats not my place to tell you.but one thing I would say,something changed in his eyes when he saw you for the first time.I know he likes you but he would never admit." "I and Lucas?Lucas likes me? thats some kind of a joke.He is meanto me Leah."I lay down my point.Leah says,"He is self sabotaging.He wants you to hate him.But I know you dont.Dont you deny the spark you have in your eyes when see him." Blush creeps up on my skin on the revelation.I say nothing.but ,"I am going take a shower and then I'll check some assignments in my room.Meet you at lunch." Leahs word still ringing in my mind.

At lunch Leah tells that her boyfriend and Lucas' best friend Justin is coming over for dinner.He had gone to california for a work meeting for a week. I'll soon get to meet him.We go shopping for groceries.I am gonna help Leah prepare dinner.

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LUCAS

Justin is coming back today.I had not talked to him this past week.But I know my annoying cousin would have filled him in with all the details.Pink would have been the headline I am sure. I go over to the girl's place.Clara is in hot pink shorts and a black shirt on top.Did I ever mention how f*****g beautiful her blonde hair are.Honey golden locks falling till her mid back.This woman is a f*****g wet dream.I believe her students dream about her.Can't blame them.Even I have dreamt about her, but my dreams were pretty much graphic.Why doesn't she have a boyfriend BTW? Is she someone's friend with benefits?No.she doesn't seem like that.Not that its a bad thing but she seems more like the long term relationship type.I'll ask her today.

She catches me staring totally ignoring me.Suddenly,someone bumps my shoulder bringing me out of my thoughts.Its Justin.I hug him and we exchange greetings.It feel so good to finally see him. I missed this fucker.Then he says something that dilutes my appreciation filled thoughts of him,"I see you fancy the roommate" I look at him,"You mean Clara?" which earns me another comment with now a devilish smirk,"yeah, Clara.Look at you being touchy with me calling her roommmate."

All I say is"f**k off man" and his laughter rumbles in my ears.And then with most sincere and worry filled eyes he says,"You deserve to be happy Luc.Don't waste yourself.Dont take the good which has come to your life for granted.It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault."And I look at him.

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Clara really seems getting along with Justin.She is lively.Her smile infectious.Its no shocker that people instantly get along with her.Admit it Lucas, you like her.You really really like her.Don't waste your time.Belle wants you to be happy .Shut up brain.Just shut up.

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CLARA

Its been six months since , I moved here. Life has been great. A regularly call to check uo on Mary.She is just like my mom.I value her so much.Ford comes to visit sometimes.Somethings never change.Like Lucas' behaviour. Leah's words still ring in my head and I have some kind of a soft corner for lucas based on that revelation.Leah is not gonna be home today.Sje has plans qith Justin so may be she'll come home till midnight.She asked me to grab a file she gave Lucas.

I have never been to his place in these six months.He didn't come today, so I myself had to fetch that file for Leah.That file was work related.It wasn't Friday I came to know earlier that he spends his Fridays with his grandmother. Such a good grandson.Yeah, I know where are all these nice things coming from, you must be wondering.I dont know ,something just flipped inside me.I am curious about his past, his trauma.I hope I get to know about it.

I knock at his door.Lucas ipens the door and I can tell by seeing him that he is not well."Hi there, wont you invite me in.I came at your door for the first time ever.I know you lack manners but still , try a little bit." He give me an unamused look and opens the door wider to let me in."what do you want?" comes a straight forward question.He is not fine.His eyes are red.Was he, was he crying? A bottle of whiskey sitting on his table in theiving room.I glance around.His apartment is....nice.But the man standing i front of me is not Lucas.He is intimidating me."I asked what do you want?"here comes the question again.Shit. What has happened to him? " I ,uh,I came here to fetch the file Leah gave you."I slightly stuttered.He went inside his room and brought it. "Here, take it" he nudges .y arm with the file.I take it and take a closer look.He is definitely not Okay.Gathering courage, I say,"Are you okay Lucas?" "I am fine", comes a clipped answer. I look into his eyes.They seem like they are screaming."You know we are not good friends but talk to me.It'll get better." As soon as i said it, tears flooded from his eyes and he plopped down on the couch.Head down, I could hear his silent cries.I rushed towards him and hugged him.For a moment, he stiffened, but then loosened up and wrapped his arms around me.Now it was my turn to feel something.Something so peaceful and calm in his embrace.I rubbed his back and said, "Whatever it is. its gonna be alright." "No its not" came out a small reply within the sobs."You can talk about it .I am here to listen."I said sincerely.My heart ached for him.

And then he told me all that was burdenizing his heart.The file lied somewhere on the floor and I looking at him, listening to him.

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I came to know about Belle. Its was the day when the accident happened.I feel for him. Now I know his reasons.His problems.I am glad he told me.Maybe Leah is right . He likes me.No Clara, don't tread so fast.I am sitting so close to him, holding his arm listening to him, I say,"It was not your fault.I know Belle is in good place and she wants you to ne happy.She loved you.It would hurt her seeing you hurt." He looks into my eyes for the longest time, I feel like my soul is being sucked out, And before I realize his lips are on mine.Soft lips brushed against mine.I moan at the contact.I kiss him back.Then he freezes.Realization hits us.How did this happen."I'm sorry.I got carried away by the moment",he says."Yeah right, But I hope we can atleast be civil now, I kind of proved that I mean no malice"I say back."Sure.Clara.sure.I am sorry I gave you hell.You really helped me" came from him.I smiled at him.Did he say Clara? Finally i got rid of Stranger.Progress."Go to her grave , talk to her.You will find relief." I say.

"I'll try to"

With that a pick the file and head out.The feel of his lips still lingering on mine