The Lycan Queens Dance with the Moon By Lenore Rose

Finding Herself

Josh sat in front of the pack doctor holding Nicole's hand. He almost looked amused at his questions.

He knew his name, he knew Nicole, he knew Mark but he didn't know anything about being a werewolf and laughing at the idea they existed.

"He is healthy, his strength has come almost all the way back in 24 hours indicating that his wolf is alive and well, working hard." He pushed away from his desk "Maybe time, it's hard to say. As his mate you might be the only person that COULD reach his wolf."

Everyone stood up and the doctor walked them to the door and let them out.

Nicole felt empty inside wishing she could help him. Trenton really needed her and she couldn't reach him. He no longer could sense how she was feeling and his touch didn't relax her almost immediately. How could something have happened to the mating bond he believed in so much he wouldn't leave her front door? Tears welled up in her eyes as she walked.

She stuffed her tears back in her eyes willing herself not to cry. There was hope, somewhere. She just had to find it. "I am going to go for a run. Do you want to come?" Running always helped clear her mind.

"No, that's alright. I wouldn't want to hold you up." He smiled at her.

The old Josh would never let her go anywhere alone. "I'll just go with one of the guards then?" She was hoping to get a rise out of him some how.

He looked at her for an extra moment and then said "If you will feel safer then go-ahead." He did feel something stir deep inside at the thought of her alone with another guy.

Tears began to escape as she ran away from him. He didn't follow, didn't come after her. It was like she didn't even matter to him. With tears running freely now she just ran through the house and found herself in front of Sabrina's door. Nicole had always believed in fate and now was not a time to question it. She knocked on the door. A guard opened the peep hole. "I am here to talk with Sabrina." The peep hole shut and then the door opened.

Sabrina was sitting out in the 4 season porch drinking tea and reading a book. Her long black hair up in a bun she was facing away from the door. "Nicole, is that you?" As if she knew she was coming.

"Yes."

"OH good girl, you ended up at the right place." She didn't even turn around she patted the seat next to her.

Nicole sat down wondering how she knew she was coming. She felt like she could trust her and maybe that's why she felt compelled to knock on her door.

"What is bothering you?" She asked as she put her book down and looked over at Nicole giving her all her attention.

"Josh doesn't think he's a werewolf anymmore. He's not acting the same, you know, protective. The doctor's don't know what to do." She paused for a moment "The worst part is I might be the only one who can help him and I don't know how to do that." Tears started falling again as she put her face in her hands sobbing.

Sabrina let her cry for a moment knowing it was better to get this out. "Why can't you help him?"

"Because I don't know how to call up my Lycan and have her help him. She comes on her own every once in a while but I don't talk with her or work as a team with her. I just feel terrible." She said between sobbing crying whole-heartedly now.

"Shhhhh, shhhhhh" Sabrina moved over and pulled her in her arms. "You certainly can't help him like this. Sit up and pull those shoulders back. Us Giest women don't cry for very long when we do cry."

Nicole sat up and pulled her shoulders back wiping away her tears. She took a deep breath and looked over at Sabrina and gave her a slight smile.

"Okay, that's better! Now come with me. This room won't do. I will show you how to connect with your Lycan."

"I have tried, it's not good."

"No you have tried to connect with your wolf and you don't have one of those. You have a Lycan and that's a different path." Sabrina was leading her down the hallway and they turned into a room.

It smelled like vanilla and Frankenscense. Relaxing Nicole almost immediately upon entry. The lights were dim and music was playing but it was just light instrumental with some sounds of nature. Nicole loved this room.

Sabrina pulled out a huge oversized beanbag chair and offered it to Nicole and then went and got her own.

They sat looking at each other sitting criss-cross style on the bags with thier hands on thier knees.

"Close our eyes and take a deep breath." Sabrina took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Now I want you to think everything I tell. I want you to see the colors, feel the wind, smell the smells. Okay?"

"I will." Nicole was already feeling sleepy and relaxed.

"Moutains, pine trees, fresh running water. Deep breath and let it out."

"Corn fields, warm humid sunshine. Deep breath and let it out."

"Imagine seeing your self in a mirror, look at your face, your hair, your shoulders, your breasts, your hips, your knees, your toes. Deep breath and as you let your breath out look into your eyes. See all the different colors there, how your pupil expands to see more. Focus on your eyes; deep breath in and let it out. As you let it out let yourself go. You just took it all in and now I want you let it go. See yourself getting smaller as you let it go; deep breath in and let it out. Accept the darkness you see, know you are not alone in the darkness. Deep breath in and let it out accepting the darkness and empty your mind. It's just you and the darkness."

Nicole followed her voice into the darkness and found a place to be that she felt connected with the darkness somehow. She could feel herself breathing in and out but that was it. There was nothing around her in her thoughts. She closed her eyes in the darkness and just let her mind be still thinking of nothing. She thought it felt good to be in this place.

Then as if in slow motion she saw someone walking at her, someone she felt like she knew. She was tall and beautfil with dark sultry eyes and

her body was sleek and covered in dense fine hair. Nicole and her stood face to face almost kissing. Nicole could smell her and feel her warm breath on her face. She wanted to touch her but didn't move.

"You can touch me. We are one. My name in Nakita." She spoke in perfect educated Russian and Nicole understood every word.

Nicole reached out and touched her, her fur was smooth and silky feeling. They held out their hands flat together and Nicole could feel her. She took in a deep breath and watched as their hands melted together.

For Nicole it was an out of body experience as they melted together accepting each other. She filled her with warmth, power and confidence she never has had.

"Breath Nicole, nice and slow and come towards my voice." She heard Sabrina way in the distance.

As she opened her eyes she could tell she was seeing through someone else's eyes.

Panic started to encirlce her heart has her body started moving without her moving it. She just kept hearing Sabrina in here calm voice to "breath and then accept" what was happening. She listened and opened her heart letting the panic go, letting her need to always hide go.

She let out a breath that felt like she had been holding it all her life. She could almost see her old self float away and she was filled with strength and power.

"There she is." Sabrina was smiling at her. She waved her over and guided her to the mirror.

Nicole saw her Lycan standing there looking back. She was beautiful and graceful. Her eye sight was clear for 300 feet as she looked out the window and made the tiny details in the woods.

"Am I like this forever?" She went back to the mirror looking closely.

"No but let's go for a run. See what she can do." Sabrina looked around trying to keep it a secret.

Nicole followed here down the hallway where she opened a secret door opening up to a wide open meadow. Sabrina took off running shifting into her wolf and Nakita took off after her and easily passed her up

making easy work of the jumps and climbing trees. Nicole was stunned at the things Nakita could do. It was like she was on a great carnival ride in first person.

After a bit they walked back and Nakita let her shift back to Nicole and her and Sabrina held hands at they made their way back to her secret door.

"Thank you Sabrina." Nicole felt for the first time she a whole person. She felt connected to the world now. "I didn't even know I needed to learn to do that."

"You're welcome but now you have to go find your mother. Nobody believes me."

"I believe you. Where Mother tossed you off a cliff, I had jumped there as well and ended up in the same place."

Sabrina was quiet for a moment.

"You find your mother and you will free us all."

"Father?" Nicole asked

"Yes, he waits for her. He will never leave her." Sabrina was sad talking about her brother.

Sabrina walked her to the front door. "Go get your mate. He needs you both right now. Start there." Sabrina hugged her and closed the door.

Nicole headed towards Josh, she could REALLY smell him now. The smell drove her into a run as she made her way towards him. Her heart was racing getting closer and closer to him. She stopped outside the door to the kitchen and composed herself pulling her shoulders back as she walked in.

He was standing with his back to her at the counter and he stopped doing whatever it was and she approached him. She grabbed his arm and her entire body froze.

He was kissing another girl.