Secret obsession

CHAPTER 17

PRESENT DAY

‘I miss you.’

It was the message on my phone screen. I do not know what time it is, but I’m pretty sure it is late. I wake up a little bit just to see who sent me the text. It was surprising to know that it was from Henry. What does he want now? It’s been two weeks since we talked. Actually, it was more of a discussion than a regular talk. I thought I made myself clear when I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore. I even remember him laughing mockingly after agreeing with that. I cried so much for him. I changed too much too, and I even lost a lot of friends for him… I know it was my fault for letting him change me in such little time that I spent with him. I just started to feel myself after two weeks of pain. I cannot let my brain start to think about him again. It’s 2:30 in the morning. For God’s sake, I shake my head, thinking I cannot put myself through this another round, so I say in my mind like a little mantra “I will take a deep breath and fall asleep again.”

Today, at school, everything seems the same as always, except that I don’t talk to my friends anymore. Kim is still mad at me because Jake puts more attention to me than her. I don’t talk to Jake either, since I don’t want Kim to suffer more. Besides, I don’t want to give false hope to Jake to think that we can have more than just friendship. I guess I have been doing well at school even with all of this happening in my personal life. I have stopped receiving messages from Jake since the day he called me and I told him that if he doesn’t make things clear to Kim, I will not talk to him again. He needs to be honest with her and treat her properly. I know she is great and deserves a good boyfriend.

I am walking to my locker daydreaming about how much I wish for things to be the way they were before. My phone buzzes and I take it out of my pocket not expecting to see a weird message.

“You look skinnier, I am worried about you” – The Most Handsome.

I forgot to change his name, and I wasn’t expecting that kind of message from him. I turn around to make sure he is not close to me… I don’t see him. Maybe he just sent the message as a joke. I rolled my eyes annoyed and opened my locker to get my books. While I’m doing that, I decide to change Henry’s contact name on my phone. I should erase it, but my feelings for him don’t let me. He became the villain of my first love story and I still have strong feelings for him. I am thinking with my head inside my locker. I’m pretty sure I look crazy doing that. I am just thinking about what kind of name I should write for his number… I got it ‘Fake Prince’ “that is more suitable” I say out loud and chuckle at my dumb joke. My phone buzzes again.

“At least you are smiling again” – Fake Prince.

I turn around again to see where he is, and why he is sending me messages. I don’t see him, and I think I maybe going crazy. I sigh annoyed again, close my locker and walk fast to my class. I am determined to ignore his messages.

School ended again. I see Kim and Jake walking together to Jake’s car. It makes me feel better and nostalgic. Everyone at school knows that something bad has happened since the three of us are not together anymore, and apparently, everyone knew about Jake’s feelings. It makes me wonder if Kim also knew about that. If that is the case, it will be another reason to stay away from Jake.

I’m walking home alone, dragging my feet. I hope summer vacations come fast. I don’t want to go to school anymore. I stopped crying everyday, but I still haven’t been happy with myself. I feel my phone buzzing again, and without enthusiasm I look at the screen.

“If you don’t eat correctly you will never have the energy to walk home” – Fake Prince.

Again?! I check around, and I don’t see him. Maybe he is hiding but… why? Why does he keep sending me messages? And why now? I am so angry that I start running to my house, thinking that maybe he was following me. I get inside almost out of breath. Thank God nobody in my house sees me. I go upstairs to change and sleep a little before dinner.

Dinner is over, the day is over, I am ready to go to sleep. Sadly, it is the only thing that makes me happy lately. I turn off all the lights and go to bed, happy that I will not have to worry about anything while dreaming. Before falling asleep completely, my phone buzzes once more. I sigh angry “This can’t be happening!”

“Good night, hope you dream of me” – Fake Prince.

I grab my pillow and scream into it “WHY?!” This is so frustrating! I turn off my phone and force myself to sleep, punching the pillow from time to time.

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Another boring day at school. I know Kim will be in one of my classes and I think this will be a good time to talk to her and become friends again. Before class start, I go close to her, crossing my fingers to find her in a good mood. I have to cross the entire classroom since she switched seats with Janice to be far from me.

“Hi Kim” I say friendly sitting next to her. She doesn’t look at me. “I was hoping maybe we could go out together today and have a fun girly afternoon… what do you think?” I play with my fingers waiting for her answer, but she ignores me completely and the teacher asks us to sit and pay attention because the class will start now, so basically, I failed at getting my friend back. When the class is over, I run out of there because I know Jake would be there to pick up Kim and go to the cafeteria together. These past weeks I have been eating alone, hiding from everyone. I know Jake has been asking about me at school, but I guess he is also trying to be a better boyfriend to Kim, which, honestly, I think is the best thing he can do for her.

I keep receiving messages from Henry and I haven’t read all of them. Now that I’m done with school, I decide to check all the messages I have, so I can erase them too.

“You look pretty today” – Fake Prince.

“I really hope you are eating now” – Fake Prince.

“I haven’t seen you smile today” – Fake Prince.

“I want to hug you so bad” – Fake Prince.

I can’t believe he is trying to play with me again! This time it won’t work. I will not fall for him more. I am still trying to forget about him. That is why I won’t speak to him about those messages. I will wait until I feel more confident to put an end to his games.

I go out of school and my mom is waiting for me. I told her that I wanted her to pick me up today. I don’t want Henry to follow me home. My mom agreed and is waiting for me in the parking lot. As I am getting closer, I see that she is talking with someone. When I get close enough, I see that it is Jake. When he looks at me, he smiles friendly. I really miss my best friend and looking at him smiling takes me back to when everything was fine. I feel so nostalgic that I might cry, but I will resist. I want things to be like before, but my friends’ happiness is more important than anything.

“Alright Jake, see you later!” my mom says to him.

“Goodbye Mrs. Bennett! Bye… Luciferin” he waives at me before walking to his car. I get in my mom’s car chatting about any stupid subject, so she ignores the obvious distance between Jake and me.

Since it is Friday, I decided to go to the store and buy some snacks to watch a movie on my own. My sister is out with Paul and my parents decided to go on a date too. I guess they got tired of the tradition as well and decided to do more things as a couple.

At the store I’m choosing what to eat. I want something with chocolate and something salty at the same time. Finally, I got chocolate cookies, chips and caramel popcorn. I am walking to the register to pay when I hear someone calling me.

“Erin!”

I turn around, and I see Carl walking towards me. He looks so happy and is so good to see him that I smile at him surprised.

“Hi Carl! How are you doing?” I say, getting close to him too.

“I’m good! It is good to see you, Erin. I wasn’t expecting to see you at this store. I have never seen you here before” he says, without erasing his smile.

“I know” I chuckle “I was in the neighborhood and decided to get some movie snacks.” I lie, I came to this store to avoid seeing Henry at the one near home.

“Sounds fun!... Are you gonna watch a movie with your lover, Henry?” he mocks me. I guess he doesn’t know what happened between us, so I decide to lie and persuade him with something else.

“Am… no, actually I haven’t seen him since this morning at school” I give him an obvious fake laugh “and also, I am gonna watch a movie with my family. It is a silly tradition that we have” I say while walking to the register again. I guess it will be better to walk away from here.

“Oh really? That sounds nice… I came to pick up a little stuff too. It’s for my mom’s birthday”, he sounds embarrassed, rubbing his neck.

“Really? Will you buy something for your mom’s birthday at a convenience store?”

“It is not as bad as it sounds… I’m a pretty good baker, and my mom wants me to make her a birthday cake,” he chuckles. “Come with me, maybe you can give me ideas about how to decorate the cake.”

I wasn’t sure about it, but Carl looked so happy to see me, that in some way made me happy too. I guess that all that I need is to be around happy people to feel better. I helped him pick up some ingredients for her mom’s cake and I gave him ideas to decorate it. I don’t think I am good at cooking, but I just told him the things that might look nice in a cake and the flavors that everybody loves.

We walk to the register together, talking more about random stuff. I have my basket full of new snacks that I pick while helping Carl, then he suddenly returns to the wrong conversation.

“I bet Henry will be jealous if he finds us together here”

“I don’t think so… maybe he doesn’t come here” I say, getting nervous and uncomfortable again.

“What do you mean? He always comes to this store… he says he doesn’t like to go to the other one, something about the smell there. I don’t know, he can be weird sometimes”, he says normally, while I get more nervous that he might come at this moment.

“Yeah! The smell… I guess it is true” I chuckle, looking everywhere, failing to look calm.

“Is there something wrong Erin” Carl asks me.

“What do you mean?” I ask, as if I don’t know what he is talking about.

“You seem very nervous, and you change the subject every time I talk about Henry” he looks me in the eyes, frowning, kind of like trying to see if I’m lying.

“Or course not!” I lie, keeping eye contact with him to make him believe me. His eyes move from mine to look at something behind me, then he smiles.

“Henry my friend! How are you?!” he waves while I froze in front of him.