Secret obsession

CHAPTER 16

After I slap Henry, he turns to look at me. I can’t understand what I see in his eyes. He looks upset, angry, and disappointed at the same time.

“What do you want me to say? We could have played a little bit more, but I always get tired of boring dolls”, he says, breathing irregularly.

“A boring doll?!” I ask, trying really hard to hold my tears. “That was all? I was just your toy?” my voice brakes after saying the toy part.

“Erin, let’s go” Jake hugs me, pushing me to walk outside, but I am so angry that I need to know the whole truth.

“Leave me alone Jake! I know you planned this… I just didn’t know it was going to be true” I shout releasing myself from Jake’s arms “leave me alone with him, we still need to talk.”

“C’mon Erin! You know he will convince you so he can still play with you!” Jake shouts, trying to hold me again.

“I said leave Jake!” I snap, looking at him angry, he sighs, giving up and walking out. “I want you to tell me the truth, Henry, and I want you, for the first time in your life, to be honest with me” I say, looking at Henry failing to hold my tears. He looks at me frowning.

“Yes…” he says after a short silence. You were my toy Erin… I thought it would be fun to experiment with a girl like you, but… things got out of control and I ended up putting more effort into the game than what I was supposed to.” His words punch my heart, making me sob and cry more.

“I thought… I thought this was for real” I say, crying and letting all my sadness out.

“That’s why I wanted to stop the game, Erin…” he bends over a little bit to be the same size as me “because ‘good girls’ are always boring”, he whispers, wiping one of my tears. I looked at him, surprised at the new Henry that is in front of me saying all those things. Crying and sobbing, I get some strength to look him in the eyes ready to say goodbye.

“I don’t want to see you anymore!” I say to him. His mouth smiles, but there is something weird in his eyes.

“Fine by me… boring doll” he turns around after saying that and walks away from me, and then out of the audiovisual room.

I stay in the middle of the room crying without moving. I cover my face with my arms and try to make myself small to disappear. I don’t know when the classes started, and I don’t know how much time I have been crying here. I just know that I want to be alone.

The door opens, and I feel a warm touch that surrounds me. I recognize the perfume, is Jake. I hug him and start to cry even more in his chest.

“I’m sorry Erin, I just wanted you to know the truth about him” he says, hugging me tight and kissing my hair.

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Somehow, I managed to end the day. After each class, Jake was waiting for me to comfort me some more and Kim helped me to stay focus on the classes we shared. Now that school is over, I am walking with both my best friends talking about something I don’t pay attention to. It's like I am walking without knowing, just thinking about Henry’s face and how my heart broke today. I feel someone grab my hand, taking me out of my trance. It is Jake again.

“Let me take you home” he says, putting my backpack on his shoulder.

“I’m fine… just take Kim to her house, I’ll be fine” I give him a weak smile to make my ‘fine’ answer complete.

“Kim can walk to her house; I will take you home.”

I turn to look at Kim who was next to him. I’m pretty sure she will be upset after what Jake said. She looks at me worried and also gives me a weak smile.

“It’s OK Erin, I’m worried about you, Jake should take you home. It's fine, I can walk.”

I know she is not happy with Jake’s proposal and I do care about her, but I know Jake is really stubborn, and I don’t want him to make another inappropriate comment.

“He can take us both, just leave me at my house first ok?” I tell that to them.

“No, we will leave Kim at her house first, then I will take you home. I want to make sure you will be alright” he firmly says, and starts to walk to his car with his backpack and mine. I look at Kim, who smiles at me politely. Maybe she doesn’t like the idea and I think this is wrong, but I don’t want to see Henry while I walk home. I know he leaves nearby.

We arrived at Kim’s house, which basically didn’t take us too much time. She lives two houses away from school. Normally they drive to some other place before taking her to her house, but today the trip for Kim was short. Jake gets out of his car and goes to open Kim’s door, which was not necessary since Kim got out of the car alone. Jake follows her to the door and they both talk for a little bit; they kiss goodbye and Kim waives at me getting inside her house. When Jake is back in the car, he asks me to move to the front seat. I don’t want to do it, but he says he will carry me to sit in the front if I don’t obey him.

“Alright princess, what do you want to do?” he asks, putting on his seatbelt.

“Just take me home” I answer shortly.

“C’mon minion! There must be something you want to do to clear your mind!” he tries to sound fun, but honestly, I don’t want to be outside.

“I just want to go home and sleep a lot”. I try to smile so he can give up and take me home.

“OK…” he starts the car and drives. “I will take you home, but I will stay with you the whole day. We can do our homework together, we can watch a movie, or we can play something.”

“Jake, I don’t have the energy to entertain you, please just take me home and leave, I just want to sleep”, I say tired already from all his ‘fun’ activities.

“OK princess”, he caresses my cheek with his right hand. “I will take you home, and you can rest and sleep all the time you want, but I will not leave you alone”, he puts a threatening tone to the last part.

“Jake!”

“I will not take a no for an answer. You know I can even use my own keys, right?” he winks at me. I just chuckle, giving up.

At home, Jake makes sure to entertain my parents so they don’t ask questions about my sad mood. Even at dinner, he convinced my parents to let us have dinner in my bedroom, so I could avoid them. He told them we had too much homework, and they trusted him so much that they agreed with him.

In my bedroom after I eat something, I grab my PJs and go to the bathroom to change, obviously I cannot change normally with Jake here. When I go out of the bathroom, I see jake outside on the balcony. It looks like he is looking for something.

“Is there something wrong?” I ask getting close to him.

“No!” he turns surprised and walks inside again. “I was talking with Kim on the phone” he lies “She is fine, but she is busy” he shrugs and turns on the TV.

“Jake, I think you need to go home. I will be fine, besides I want to sleep”, I say, walking slowly to my bed, almost like dragging my feet.

“I don’t think so, Luciferin, I will stay here until you feel better” he sits on a chair next to my bed. “I will take care of your dreams, promise” he smiles, clapping on my bed.

I get into bed and cover my face with a pillow. I feel so sad, and I want to cry and cry until my eyes dry. I hug the pillow and let the crying start, thinking that maybe the volume of the TV is enough for Jake to ignore me, and I think it is working until I feel Jake’s body resting behind me and his arms surround me with a kiss on my head.

“If it makes you feel better, cry all that you want… hey! Remember when your dad got mad at you for losing the watch your grandpa gave him the day we had a pool party?... and then I stayed in the yard looking for it until I found it?... I remember I wanted to wait a little bit more to give you the surprise that I found it, but I guess I waited too long, because your dad already punished you and you ran crying here… when I came here to tell you that I found the watch you were really mad at me” he chuckles with the last part “somehow right now I have the same feeling… I waited too long to show the truth that you are suffering now… I’ll promise I will protect you more from now on” he hugs me tight; I just keep crying hugging the pillow.

I get the feeling that it is really late. I open my eyes and see the lamp on my bedside table on, I stand up a little bit to grab my cellphone and see what time it is, 2:25am. I guess I fell asleep. When I realized Jake was supposed to be here, I look for him, but I only find a note.

Have a good night evil goddess. I couldn’t stay for too long. I don’t want your parents to be upset with me and make me return my keys lol. I will see you tomorrow pretty monster.

Jake.

I guess Jake told some kind of lie to my parents because they never came to check me up. My eyes feel swollen, and I still want to sleep some more before I start crying again. Tomorrow I will try to survive.

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It is a new day and I go downstairs to go to school. I cannot fake I’m sick because I know my mom will not believe me and will end up asking questions. Before I enter the kitchen, I hear my mom laughing with someone, and when I enter, I see Jake eating a beagle with my sister and my mom.

“Jake?” I ask, surprised.

“Oh, sweety Jake came today to take you to school. He says that he will help you to unpack the things you need for your project” my mom says friendly smiling at Jake.

“Project?” I ask, confused.

“Looks like someone is not wide awake yet”. Jake stands up getting in front of me. “The things for the project you were working on yesterday with my help, remember?” he winks at me to keep with his lie.

“Oh yeah, the project.” I laugh awkwardly. “Yes, I guess I need help with that… so, can we go now?” I ask him, waving at my mom and sister and pushing Jake to go out of my house. I walk to his car fast, pulling him to move fast too. Once in his car, I turn to him to ask what is going on.

“Stop looking at me like that princess”, he looks happy. “You know you needed my help to get out of your house”, then he winks at me. I just sigh putting on my seatbelt. I know he is right.

“Honestly, I don’t know if I want to go to school either.”

“Do you want me to take you somewhere else?” he sounds serious.

“Of course not, what about Kim?” I answer his stupid question, letting my bad mood out.

“What about her? She will be at school; she will be fine” he shrugs.

“Jake, she is your girlfriend! AND my best friend, you need to take care of her too.”

“I know… and I do” he answers as if he doesn’t care. We arrive at school and I start looking for Kim. She is not at the door and I don’t want to look for her too much time because I don’t want to see Henry.

“I’m gonna call Kim…” I take out my phone and dial her number. She never answered. “Maybe she is already in class”, I say to Jake while I keep calling Kim.

The bell rings, and we have to go inside. I look for Kim in her classroom and I find her looking through the window.

“Kim!” I shout waiving at her. She looks at me and smiles, but before I enter, Mr. Hughes stops in front of me.

“I don’t think you are in this class, young lady,” Mr. Hughes says.

“No… sorry” I chuckle and walk away to my class. There, I try to pay attention, but my head is killing me. I still can’t stop thinking about Henry, and now I’m also worried about Kim.

The day ended somehow. I never focus on my classes. I’m always looking down to avoid seeing Henry and, on top of that, Kim seems to be mad. Today I manage to go home by myself. I never walked so fast that even my mom was surprised when I got home earlier than usual. I didn’t want Jake to take me home again, he needs to focus on Kim. At school again he was always looking for me, trying to comfort me, but I kept pushing him to the point that now I have to hide from him too. At home, things are not different. I told my mom I had those girl days and that I didn’t want to see Jake. She understood and helped me with him. I guess I am a good liar because it has been 4 days since I have been doing this, and it’s still working.

One more day at school and my mom is driving me there. ‘Thank God’ I rush to my classroom when I see Kim walking alone, so I get close to her to chat with my friend. Maybe a girl talk is all that I need.

“Hi Kim!” I say, still faking happiness.

“Hi” she says with a low volume.

“Are you alright?... I know I haven’t been spending enough time with you guys, but I don’t want to make you worried.” I lie, I just don’t want to be too close to Jake. That may upset Kim.

“Well, that has not been enough Erin… Jake still wants to spend time with you, and you know it”, she starts talking in an angry tone.

“Kim, I haven’t seen Jake in the last 3 days and that’s why I have not talked to you either… I know Jake is overprotective, and he is trying to comfort me, but I’m aware that he should spend his time with you” I say, almost apologizing.

“It’s not enough, Erin!... he goes to your house every day, even when your mom does not let him in, he stays outside looking at your window” she looks sad and avoids my eyes. “I went to your house too, just to see if Jake was there and all those times, I saw him, just siting in his car looking at your balcony… he stopped calling me Erin! And all of this is your fault!” she shouts and walks away from me, leaving me speechless and static. I didn’t know Jake was doing that. I didn’t know all of this. I know Jake has feelings for me and that’s why I want to put some distance between us. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I don’t understand.

When the day is over, I rush out of school again, avoiding Henry, Jake, and now Kim. I am tired of all of this. At home my parents don’t ask questions. I guess they are used to my mood for now. I always take my dinner to my bedroom, but I ended up throwing most of the food away. I am not hungry at all. I just want to cry and sleep. I never thought falling in love would be this painful. I turn off the light off of my bedroom as well as the light of the balcony in case Jake is outside. I get in my bed and sleep, ignoring the rest of the world. I just want all of this to be over.