Blue

I got up that morning the same as any other. My work friend Ginny calling to tell me I can’t be late to whatever stupid thing she’s got planned for tonight, and the decision about whether to masturbate or go back to sleep. I stare at the ceiling at my blank, boring ceiling and think about the day I have ahead, which is going to be exactly like yesterday which was exactly like the day before that. I look at the time and per usual, I am half an hour late. I run to brush my teeth and throw on the first pants I can find in a pile of somewhat clean laundry that’s all thrown on the floor. I don’t even bother brushing my long hair and twist it into a messy bun. I step into the living room and throw my laptop and a mess of notes into a bag and run out the door, barely making sure it’s closed behind me.         I show up to my morning meeting 15 minutes after it started and my boss pulls me into his office. “Emelia this is your last warning! One more slip up and you’re fired!” Who knew journalism would be this stressful. I roll my eyes and brush him off while rushing to my desk and scrambling. “I need this article by tonight damn it why can’t I write it!” I panic in my head. Despite several attempts I just cannot get words on a paper. I can’t focus in this stupid office. I didn’t even want to be a journalist. My mom was and she worked in this firm. “It’s a good secure job lined up for you Emelia, don’t screw it up!”          I slam my laptop closed and rush out. “I’m gonna work remotely Linda I’ll email my pages tonight!” I shout. I need to get away from here. I practically run down the street towards my favorite coffee shop called “The Corner” and I almost drop my laptop in the middle of the street while trying to read an angry email from my boss on my phone about how everyone at my job sucks and blah blah blah. With a sigh of relief I make it to the sidewalk and for the first time notice the world around me. I pause and feel a heat that sends shivers down my spine. There’s a man across the street looking at me.  I can’t explain why but it’s like the words were taken out of my mouth, and my stomach has butterflies. I can’t take my eyes away. He smiles and waves and I am so still. I try everything but I just cannot move. He’s captivating and his eyes seem to see right into my soul. I don’t know why, but I feel almost as if I’ll die if I don’t meet him. A car passes by and breaks my gaze. I come back to reality and start walking. I check my phone again to see a text from Ginny asking why I’m not at work to entertain her and I feel a gentle but firm hand touch my shoulder. I turn around and step backwards. “Hi.” the handsome man says. “I’m sorry I just couldn’t let such a pretty girl run away without meeting her. I’m Logan.” I almost pass out and my mouth is so dry. Has it ever been dry like this? When was the last time I drank water? God he must think I’m a mess. “Emm...Emelia.” I say stupidly. Get it together.  “Hello Emelia.” I blush a bright burning red as he takes my hand and shakes it. I get a better look at him. He’s older but dashing and such a strong presence. How the whole world didn’t stop when this man spoke I don’t understand. “You’re cute when you blush.” I smile. No one’s ever noticed me before. He takes his hand away and smiles at me. “Well I’m sorry to bother you, I just wanted to say hi. You have a nice day Emelia.” He winks at me and walks away. I suddenly feel a hole in my chest. I watch him casually leaving me as if nothing has affected him ever. He’s so calm and collected and without a second thought I shout “wait!” A little too loud. He turns around and smiles at me. “Yes?” He says and once again I’m speechless. I look at The Corner and back at him and I want to scream at myself for being an i***t but even that would require words to form in my mouth, which they don't. Why couldn’t I talk to him?! “Did you want to...maybe get a cup of coffee with me?” He says and I thank the world he read my mind. I nod and he walks with me gently placing a hand on my back. I feel jumpy at his touch but I don’t want him to let go. I find myself walking closer just to make sure he doesn’t.  We get there and he says “Go ahead and pick out a table, I got this.” And I nod. I start to walk away and he laughs and says “What would you like?” And I stop. “Oh sorry, cold brew with 2 pumps caramel.” And he nods. “Stupid.” I think to myself. I go sit down, set up my laptop and try to organize my notes. Anything to take my mind off of him for a second but I can’t help but watch him. The way he talks to people. He’s so kind and charming but also such a commanding presence. Everyone seems to like him. I look away as he looks at me just in case he thinks I’m a creep. Every step he takes towards me, I feel the heat rise in me again.   “So Emelia, what is it you’re in such a rush to get back to?” “Um….writing. I’m a journalist.” “Really? That sounds exciting.” “No, not at all actually.” He laughs and we talk for hours. It’s easy, endless. His gaze penetrates my soul. I don’t know what’s happening. “It’s Emmy actually. My friends call me Emmy.”  “Well alright then, Emmy. I’m glad we’re friends.” “Me too” I smile.  “Well Sweets, I’ve gotta go but I hope to see you again sometime, if you were interested?” I nod without a second thought. “Um...here’s my number. Text me sometime?” “Sure. Happy writing Emmy.” He winks. I spend the next 3 hours on my 3rd coffee of the night absolutely unable to focus. I check my phone every five minutes, waiting. Wondering what he’s doing. Why hasn’t he texted yet? I decide I can’t suffer alone