Shatter & Shine

Elizabeth I stared at my fistful hand of blonde hair, then I stared back at the mirror, staring at the huge bald spot in my head. I wasn't shocked, and it had become almost a daily norm, I was far past the point of crying. I wasn't sure I had any more tears in my body to spare anyway. I sighed and threw the clump of hair into the thrash bin next to me. It was a Saturday and I had finally decided to get my hair shaved clean. Better to start over. When the hair loss started, it was accompanied by a massive fever, but naturally, my parents didn't even bat an eye at me. It wasn't until two days later when my paternal aunt came to visit that I was finally taken to the hospital. The doctor said that the hair loss was caused by a hormonal imbalance while the fever was caused by lack of proper care and nutrition, I was given an injection and prescribed some medicine, once we got back home, my aunt tore into my parents for their recklessness and irresponsibility, their defense, their "perfect" baby boy had a splinter. It's not that I have anything against my brother. I mean he's far too young to understand the unfairness and favoritism going on, and it's not like it's his fault. All I can do is hope he doesn't grow up to become a spoiled brat, as slim as those possibilities may be. I wore a denim bucket hat and opened the door, only to come face to face with my aunt, my best person in the whole world. "Looks like you're headed out, going to go see your friends?" She asked with a cheery tone. "No." I replied curtly and was about to cut past her when she pulled me back by my arm. "Do your parents know where you're going?" She asked, her tone much less cheery than earlier. "No," I said, avoiding eye contact, "It's not like they care anyway." I added, mumbling under my breath. She gave a tired sigh and rubbed her palm across her face, as if to calm herself down. "Elizabeth, I'm only going to ask once, and I expect an honest answer." She looked at me as though she was looking for affirmation that I understood what she said, so I nodded my head in response. "Where are you going to?" I hung my head and responded,"to the barbing salon." She raised my head and looked at me sympathetically "Did more hair fall out sweetie?" She asked softly, and I nodded in response, "Did the hair products I got not help?" I shook my head in the negative. "Oh dear." She said sympathetically as she pulled me in for a hug. "But are you sure you want to get a hair cut?" She asked as she pulled me apart and held me at arms length. "Yes." I replied feeling sure of myself, but I could see it all over her face that she wasn't fully in on the idea of me getting a haircut, so I asked. " Is something wrong? Do you think I'm making a mistake?". "No, sweetie," she said, not so confidently, "I honestly think you'll look good however you decide to wear your hair, but..." She trailed off, "But?" I asked expectantly. "I'm just worried that this could end up affecting you negatively. I'm worried that you'll get picked on in school and become a social outcast. The kids of this generation are not exactly the nicest." "I don't think I can become any more of an outcast than I already am." I said with a light shrug, feigning non-chalance, but in all honesty, I was also bothered by the possibility that I'll become a target for bullying, but that shouldn't happen as long as I continue to do what I do best which is lying low. "Ok, if you're okay, then I'm okay too." She said with a sad smile. "And if it's fine with you, I'll like to follow you to get your hair cut, and then we could go get ice cream and pizza and maybe even go, wig shopping if you want to." At the sound of that I looked up at her and I know my eyes lit up because she was smiling again but this time a much genuine smile, "How does that sound?" "Amazing!" "Well, we had better get going now, if we want to have enough time for shopping afterwards." *** The weekend was a blur, and before I knew it, it was Monday again. I looked at myself in the mirror, my bluish grey eyes staring back at me, I threw on my wig which exactly matched my hair or what used to be my hair and did my best to psych myself and barely managed to stop myself from quitting and just not going to school. I got to school and took my seat. A few minutes later, people really started to troop in, and it was getting rowdy and noisy. Cassie, my seat partner and only actual friend for the past three years, took a seat next to me. "Good morning." She said, sliding into her seat. "What exactly is good about the morning? It's Monday." I said groggily. Unlike me, the perfect textbook definition of a wallflower, Cassie was a social butterfly and stood out wherever she went, even when she tried not to. "Liven up," she said, pinching my cheeks, "don't be such a boomer." she said before turning around to answer her many fans, one of whom I couldn't stand, Bryce Walker, his favorite pastime was tormenting me and watching me squirm in discomfort and agony. "Wassup pretty Cass." He said, walking towards us, "Wassup ugly shadow." He said, directing his lame insult at him. "Bryce!" Cass said as she whipped her head to face him, her straight black hair flying everywhere and complimenting her brown skin perfectly. She shot him a look that said, that's not very nice. "Whatever." He scoffed and walked away. I stood up and went to the toilet with Cass following behind me. "Lizzy, wait up." She called to me, only catching up when we entered the restroom. "You're taking what he said to heart, are you? You know how childish and immature Bryce can be." "Nah, I'm good." I said, looking at her through the mirror. "I just wanted to show you something." "What is it?" She asked, wearing a concerned look. I lifted my wig slightly to reveal my shaved head underneath, she threw a hand over her mouth in shock, her eyes bug-eyed wide. "You cut your hair!" She exclaimed. "Yeah," I said "I got tired of just watching the hair fall out and figured I'd beat it at its own game." "That's awesome and probably the coolest thing I've heard anyone say. Good for you." She said, beaming at me. "Well, that's not all." "There's more?" She asked. "My aren't you full of surprises today? Well, what is it?" "I'm going to confess my feelings to Dylan today." I all but squealed. "For real?" She exclaimed in shock. "You go girl, you've had a crush on him all year. Along with about half of the school's female population." She added after a brief pause. Dylan Walker was the school's "It Guy". He was tall, tanned and a core player in the soccer team, he was really good-looking, so naturally every girl was fawning over him and, unlike his single-cell-brained brother, he was really sweet and kind. "I'm going to tell him by lunch break and I can only do it if you're with me, so ..." I trailed off. "Of course I'll be by your side. Are you joking?" "Thanks, you're an angel." *** Lunch break rolls around, and I'm standing in front of Dylan in the school compound, Cass is standing by my side and a few people around us. I struggle and manage to get the words out. "I like you." I basically blurted out. Everywhere was silent and that was when the realization hit me. While I was talking, I felt something tug and slip from my head. My shaved head was bare for all to see. No one would randomly pull my hair and, more importantly, the only person standing close enough to tug at my wig was Cass. I stared at her in disbelief, realizing what she had done. She wasn't meeting my eyes but there was no denying what she had done. "Wow, check it out guys, it's bald pitt." Bryce yelled and a lot of people erupted into laughter. I looked at Dylan, who gave me a strange look and walked away. Since that day, I had become the target of intense bullying, lost my best friend and Dylan was actively avoiding me. I became so depressed and began to inflict self-harm. My aunt found me shortly after one of my attempts and that was when she decided that, since my horrible parents were not going to do anything, that she was going to step up. She got custody over me from my parents, and we moved from the small town of Montville and I swore never to set foot in that town again.