Canis Major

Michael

In high school I had acne but I was still adorable. I wasn't interested in aggrandizing myself into the ranks of the so-called cool kids. I didn't find their smugness alluring. And I didn't like their animosity towards the "nerds", which was the clan they had pigeonholed me into because I didn't fit their archetype.

In a way, they were right. My aura didn't match theirs. I was a bark and they were a meow. I wore glasses and was a bookworm. I burst pimples in public. My mother was a cashier at a little fast food joint. I was chubby. Long story short, I had every component that they didn't like.

I was the sort of person they expected to live his life covertly and stay out of their way. If they only knew I had the ability to decapitate or disembowel them effortlessly they'd stay out of mine. But it would be an almost too facile solution.

I forged ahead through all the trials and tribulations of my life and now I am the head of the government of my country. I am at the top of the hierarchy. I am not infallible. No. No. No. I am not the Lamb of God.

I am a maggot feeding on the dead. I just got this one fresh from the morgue. I bite into her and she feels no pain. There's no ouch! No sorrow. I'll eat as much as I can and throw what's left to the piranhas. I had to pull a lot of strings to get her. She has such beautiful eyes. I'm not disappointed with today's selection.

I plan to have all of Eden's space travel activity suspended indefinitely to stop the flow of moon dust into the country. No more star trekking for these crackheads and smugglers. And if any of them tries anything we'll use this new weapon of yours, Kathryn. Anyway, I should call James.

***James's Point of View***

I accepted Michael's apology and he accepted mine. The truth is that my kind of humour is an acquired taste. In other words, I'm just not very funny. I admitted that he had every right to be aggrieved because of what I said.

"It's all right, James. It's my fault for making what should've been a minor annoyance escalate like that," Michael said.

"As for calling me old. Well, you don't have to study archeology to know I'm a fossil," I said.

"Good one, James. You should give stand-up comedy a try. I'm glad we worked this out. I thought we were gonna be each other's arch-enemy or something like that. I've always been daring but what I said to you the other day was just crazy and foolish. I'm afraid I have to bid you farewell for now but I will definitely be calling you again, James."

"Okay, Michael. Thanks for calling."

I went back to drinking my booze and eating my burger. I was at my own restaurant so it was on the house. It was free but not really. Soul food wasn't selling anymore so I switched to fast food.

Sometimes the cashier invited me to her home so we could f**k.

Other men weren't that much into her because she's a bit chubby. But I wasn't other men. I wouldn't be in my right mind if I refused such a beautiful woman. She's so courteous, so decent. I didn't see her as disgusting. The male ego is a great evil.

But other factors made me stop pursuing her further. Werewolves mostly hunt who we know. It wasn't hard for me to foresee myself waking up one morning with a bloody mouth and her carcass next to me.

I told her I was glad I got to know her and that she was the highlight of my year so far. It was inevitable that it would end with me breaking her heart but I was lonely and I needed someone.

She told me the s*x was lame and that it was amazing she managed to see my c**k without a magnifying glass.

She called me a moron and said I was just like the others. She said true love was just a pipe dream but I really made her believe we could pull it off.

The truth is that even if I could retrace my steps back in time I would put her through this again. I know it's selfish. I know how horrible it sounds. But she'll overcome it one day. I'm sure I treated her way better than any other guy and that's good enough for me.

***Two Days Later***

"You're seriously having second thoughts about this, Michael? They have to be held accountable for what they're doing. We have to take decisive action," Kathryn said.

"You're here to advise me, not tell me what to do," Michael said. "Is the directed-energy weapon already aimed at them?"

"It is."

"What are our alternatives?"

"We could intercept them when they come back to Earth but is this really the time to be soft on them? We warned people what would happen if they tried to go to the moon."

"Okay! Explain this weapon to me one more time."

"Basically they're the ants and we're the mean kid with a magnifying glass."

"Tell them to arm the weapon. They have my authorization to fire at will."

"If it's any consolation, it'll happen silently. No barrage of gunfire from our people. Just a laser beam. And no loud explosion from up there when their ship explodes. There's no sound up there in space."

"I was wrong about you, Kathryn. You're not a bimbo. You're just a sociopath."

"Well you'd know, wouldn't you?"

"No, there's a difference! You contribute to causing deaths and it's just another boring day to you. I actually lose sleep over this kind of thing."

"The butcher learns to love his job, and like everyone else he eventually becomes bored of his job. Casualties are inevitable in war, and whether you like it or not we are at war."

"These people were civilians, not soldiers."

"Compromises have to be made. You promised the decent, hardworking people of this country a relentless crackdown on this drug problem. Here you are delivering on that promise. You are proving your dedication. From this disorder we will create a better world. The election is a long way off, but failing now can and will affect your fortune when the time comes."

"I guess I have to stop treating myself like I'm a medical graduate who took the Hippocratic Oath and swore to do no harm. I know this isn't a job for a morally inflexible person. Sometimes I wake up feeling like I landed the best job in the world, and other days I struggle to maintain my enthusiasm. What's your motivation for getting out of bed in the morning?"

"I just remind myself that I have to pitch in and do my best to fight for the greater good. And I have an adorable puppy that always brightens my day."

"That's nice. I've never seen you smile before. This much I know for sure, someone somewhere out there is going to want revenge for this. Call me paranoid but I have a feeling they'll want to send a clear message of their intentions and will spare no expense to do so; just like we did. We may have killed someone's lover. We executed without a trial. I doubt it's just another Wednesday for whoever's left to mourn."