Canis Major

Eden

The airbag did its job. It absorbed the kinetic energy that would otherwise result in my immediate death. It was an accident, a car crash or collision; whatever you want to call it. Whatever floats your boat. All I know is that something hit me and I woke up in the hospital wondering what the hell happened.

The road is much like life. Adhering to the rules of the road, or life, doesn't guarantee that some drunk driving asshole won't bump you into the afterlife.

I'm grateful to be alive. Shout-out to my guardian angel. I went to an aquarium the other day and ticked it off my bucket list. I even started attending church again and considered getting baptized. I tried to be a better man.

I tried stand-up comedy and got booed off stage. I did squats to get firmer buns and did some womanizing.

Christmas was difficult without my daughter. Michael wasn't there either. He didn't have time for Christmas. He was busy organizing his revolution. Though I'm sure he would just annoy me again with a compendium about how Christmas isn't all that.

By New Year of 2044, Michael successfully carried out his coup, became President and imprisoned his dethroned rivals. Some were sentenced to death. Michael's administration clamped down on violence and discrimination against SuperNatural Creatures or SNCs for short.

Michael renamed the country Eden. He said he wanted a world in which mankind and beasts like werewolves lived together in harmony, as in the biblical Garden of Eden. It was quite amazing to see how politics had turned Michael from antisocial to extroverted. Michael Ford had become a godlike figure.

Michael wanted to get rid of the unfair advantages available to people just for being white or heterosexual or male. He said he believed in the indisputable equality of all humanoid lives, natural or supernatural. Known members of the Ku Klux Klan were thrown into madhouses.

The moon was declared a holy place for werewolves, and pilgrims would journey there. It also became popular for orienteering.

Michael and I got together sometimes. Last time we played ping-pong. I beat him, by the way. I beat the President at ping-pong. That's gotta count for something. I might publish a bestseller about it some day.

My restaurant is doing very well these days. It's such a beautiful thing. It was just a little seed I planted about a decade ago and now it was fully grown. I'm a proud seller of soul food.

Soon there was a surge in demand for moon dust because some crackhead werewolf discovered that snorting it took him higher than coke ever could. Some werewolves started travelling to the moon just to snort moon dust. Eventually it went from holy place to celestial crackhouse. It was quite a watershed moment in werewolf history.

Michael called me one day inquiring how I was coping with Jaedann's absence from my life. I quickly changed the subject by telling him about my accident.

"f**k! Are you okay?" He said.

"Yeah. It just shook me up a bit. I'm fine now."

"Well thank God. I guess it's one of those things that happen out of the blue. Like this f*****g moon dust addiction destroying families. I don't know what to do, James. I feel like I'm trying to keep the Titanic afloat."

"Keep your head up, son. There isn't always a quick fix at first. You just have to alleviate as best as you can until you find a cure, so to speak. I believe in you. You have the aptitude to lead us through this. Just give it your full attention."

"I know you're a chef but right now I feel like you're a bartender giving me advice."

"Good one. I hope that's not saying the advice is low quality though."

"No. Not at all."

"So what do you do, Mr President, when you're not working to better our country or dropping drone bombs on other countries?"

"Ahh, James, stop being such a bully."

"You're right. I should leave that to you, Michael."

"Okay. I see you're not enthusiastic about some of the things I've presided over...."

"Yeah. I'm not exactly cartwheeling about it."

"You know, old man, I think there are better things you should be worrying about! Like maybe your cholesterol!"

"Is that so? I think I've had quite enough of your company. Goodbye, Michael."

I hung up.

That was when I really began to doubt that the country was in safe hands. I started to worry that even if we overcame this moon dust addiction debacle we might be left with a bigger problem in the form of Michael Ford.

A feeling of great discontent came over me. If this is Eden could he be the snake? I wanted to be freed from this difficult state of mind. I could never have foreseen this kind of behavior from him. I never liked him when I first met him but recently I came to think of him as a godsend when he rescued me from that awful place.

At best I could now only think of him as an anti-hero. A flawed hero. Morally questionable but not completely indigestible. Even if you're from Krypton you still have flaws.

I decided I wasn't going to let this drive me crazy. I told myself he acted like that probably because of stress or a mood swing, and provocation from me. Maybe all of the above. I intended only harmless banter. I didn't expect him to take it to heart.

I got an apple from the fridge and sunk my teeth into it. Then I peeled a pineapple and devoured it. Those weren't enough so I had some pudding too.

I went to bed to get some rest. I dreamt I was a little boy again playing on a see-saw. I'm standing nearby as my adult self. I shout to my younger self but it's like he's in a soundproof bubble. I touch the surface of the bubble and ripples travel across it. He turns and waves at me.