NOT Your GUARDIAN

CHAOS

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If the world is so cruel that it frightens you, fret not... For I am here. I will protect you even from your own fears.

***RAKI***

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My heart swelled with fondness as I looked at the sleeping charmer on the bed beside me. Her face was so angelic, I couldn't even believe that she growls and snaps at me every time our eyes met.

How can someone look so soft yet so hard to approach? She's like a viper. Would lure you in her beauty and before you even know it, she has taken a bite on your neck.

Just watching the steady rise and fall of her chest brings so much tranquility into my worried soul. I stared at her face, lingering into the slope of her nose and the curve of her lips. The smooth ivory skin glows under the soft lights coming from the open windows of her room. It hinges my breath and I felt something tighten in my chest.

Ugh, I must refrain myself.

This is not the right time to get drowned in my selfish and hopeful thoughts that maybe...maybe it was her that I have been searching for. That may be, she has been here all along and I am too dumb to find her.

Nattarin..

Almost fifteen years of searching, waiting and now here I am. Fifteen years wasted, and she has been here all along. On the same continent, same country, and even same circle of acquaintances. What are the odds?

Sitting idly under the care of my father's best friend, such a small world indeed.

Looking down on the one that possibly may or may not be her, I couldn't even explain the feeling of nostalgia. If she really is Nattarin, what should I tell her?  Should I ask if she still remembers me? Ask her how did she end up in this household?

The heavy emotions swirling inside my chest clearly states just how much I have wanted to see her again, hold her and take care of her just like before.

There is still no guarantee that it is really her, but even if I am mistaken this time, I couldn’t deny the attraction I am feeling towards this lady. It irritates me to think that she has grown to be a spoiled brat who gets whatever she wants no matter how trivial it may be. I hate the stubborn flick of her eyebrows and yet I couldn’t take my eyes away from her expressive eyes.

I am drawn towards her lustrous pout and yet I am displeased by the words that come out of her mouth.

I gritted my teeth as I recall the unnerving incident earlier where I nearly lost my sanity thinking about what might have happened had I not been there with her today. 

That f*****g bastard!

***

[One hour ago]

My attention has been caught by Phi Bester calling out for Sasi in the middle of the photo session with her fans. 

Seems like she's been zoning out, I looked in her direction and found the blushing face quite amusing. My gaze lingered unto her flickering eyes a little too long and my heart filled with such contempt as I studied her expression. She's cute.

Why is she blushing?

Then all of a sudden, something in her face changed. I frowned instantly after her naught-filled eyes slowly get filled with fear, then it turned into a terrifying look, so I followed the direction she’s looking at.

There, beside the cameraman, was a black-hooded man facing directly at Sasi. His face was half-covered by the hood of his jacket. His torn-out jeans were faded and smudged. He was carrying a basket of red roses.

And based on his posture, I have a strong feeling that he was the stalker Sasi was talking about earlier. Black hood, a basket of flowers, that's it!

Something tugs at my heart, and I immediately get my feet moving towards her just in case. I was standing a few feet away from the stage, thinking it is quite safe since the event is invitation-only and the crew members are strictly selected. But I shouldn’t be too confident.

Slowly, I made my way towards her as to not create attention, but when I noticed Sasi clutching her chest and seemed to have a difficulty in breathing as well, I stride more hastily. Her eyes looked unfocused and thus made me run quickly in her direction.

My heartbeat throbbed faster than a speeding train.

Her safety was my number one priority and hell maybe damned if I failed to do so.

I was two steps away from her when she began to close her eyes, and slowly as it seemed, she falls into a faint...

She's gonna collapse.

No! Don't! s**t, I can't make it on time!

I crossed the distance with one long stride, kicked my feet, and slide my knees into the floor instantly as if in their own accord, my arms found the hollow of her waist and encircled her into a tight hug preventing the fall.

Sasi!

I caught her but she laid there unconscious and the air I breathe seemed to burn my lungs as my senses have gone to full alert. I'm in a state of agonizing fear of failing to protect this beautiful lady in my arms.

Not again, not this time!

In a split second, Phi Best was beside me and the crowd towered above us.

"Give room, please everyone, don't get closer. Can I have a bottle of water please?"

Bester asked the crew. 

My eyes darted back to the place where the stalker was standing moments ago, but he was nowhere to be found.

I looked at Sasi and I saw the colors leaving her face, turning pale all over.

I touched her face, caressing it gently.

"Ms. Lamwilai, are you ok? Answer me."

I tugged at her cheeks softly.

Tapping and shaking her alternately.

"Ugh.."

She groaned after a couple of minutes, and I tilted her neck upward to let her drink from the water bottle.

When I saw that the color on her cheeks slightly returned, I immediately handed her over to Phi Best and do what I have to.

"Phi Bester sir, can I leave Ms. Lamwilai with you? I will try to find the stalker."

I said rather stiffly.

"Stalker? What? Where?"

I could sense his sudden panic, so I didn't answer and just handed him the still unconscious Sasi then briskly stood up. My head was throbbing with so much fervor as I scanned the area of curious fans and staff.

I swear to God, whoever you are, you'll gonna pray to be sent straight to hell if ever I landed my hands on you. May Lucifer bless your soul!

I grunted in rage as I look for the culprit in the crowd.

I ran and searched all the corners of the area until I saw a man in a black hood slowly walking towards the exit with the basket of flowers in his hand. His head was bowed down low as if covering his face.

Got you motherfucker!

I ran towards him and in ample quickness, grabbed his arm and slammed him to the floor. He couldn’t react right away in shock, and I got the man down in seconds. 

I trained for this. There's no way he could've dodged my attack.

“W-who are you?”

He asked struggling to get out of my steady grip.

“I am your worst nightmare, bastard! Who are you? What do you want from Sasi?”

My seething rage couldn’t be contained as my grip on his arm tightened. My knee was placed on his back to hold him down firmly.

“What did I do? I am just a fan who wants to give her a gift!”

“A fan? Or a stalker?!”

Yelling at him, I glanced at the basket of flowers that is now scattered on the floor.

“Yes! You can look at my basket! There’s nothing there.”

He tempted me.

I know that the basket is clean, he wouldn’t put something there knowing it would be the first thing the security would be checking. So instead, I groped around his torso. 

“What are you doing?! I can sue you for assault!”

“Then sue me.”

I challenged him as I found his wallet from his pocket. I flipped it open and the first thing that caught my eye was a picture of Sasi in a red bikini. The photo was a cut-out from a magazine page. 

“Seems like it is you who will be going to jail, Mr. Rornchawat.”

I read his I.D. and the man stiffened under me.

“I-I only want to give her the flowers, believe me. I’m a fan.”

He tried to explain but security personnel arrived just in time to fetch the culprit. After I have seen him being carried away, I returned to get Sasi.

I found her still lying on the stage with Phi Bester fanning her face. Someone was wiping her arm with a towel, probably one of the crews. The staff make way for me as I gently scooped my employer in my arms like a fragile piece of artwork and carried her towards the fire exit leading directly to the garage where I parked the car. 

I couldn't control the rush of anxiety that clouded my mind.

How could I be so naive as to let someone dangerous enough to get so close like that to Sasi?

I won't forgive myself if anything bad happened to her.

I inhaled sharply.

As if this isn't bad enough?

Argh...Raki, you’re a lousy stupid s**t bag.

I drove hurriedly back to the Lamwilai mansion as Phi Bester talked on the phone, probably Madam Nuch, and heard about something like doctor..and panic attack..and phobia?

I didn't pay much attention to the details as I sneak peeked on the rearview mirror every now and then and checked on her...I got so worked up about this lady who was still unconscious but luckily, her face seemed to retain its color somehow.

It was my first day to meet her personally, but I seemed to be more than fascinated with her. Could it be because perhaps, I have already met her before?

If and if, she was the person that I thought her to be, she might not remember me now, but someday she will, and I won't let anything unpleasant happen to her In between. I swear on my mother's grave, I will protect her no matter what, I will protect her family as well as mine.

When we arrived at the mansion, a doctor was already waiting in her room.

She was a middle-aged woman about 5 feet and a few inches tall, with a stern expression on her face. She seemed to be a mixed-race of Thai with western features. Her deep-set eyes looked at me warily as I laid Sasi on her bed.

Madam Nuch introduced her as Dr. Karla Chivaree, Sasi's personal doctor.

And while she was being checked, I was summoned by her father.

"Raki."

Mr. Lamwilai called out as I enter his office. He was standing near the open window, smoking large tobacco in his hand.

"Sir, I'm sorry I seemed to have failed on my first day."

I said with my head bowed down low. I felt embarrassed.

"What really happened? And please, let's drop the formality. We both know it's unnecessary."

He put the tobacco on the ashtray over the mahogany table as he sat on to the chair behind it. His suit was slightly opened and his necktie laid on the armrest. I could feel the tension in his voice and the worried look that he had thrown at me.

"I don't really have any idea uncle. A man in a black hooded jacket went to the venue, claiming he was a fan. He said he wanted to give Sasi a basket of flowers as an appreciation but I saw something inappropriate in his belongings.”

My knuckles gripped tightly behind me as I remember the image that I found.

"And? What was it?"

He slumped on the chair, gently massaging his temple.

“It was a picture of Miss Lamwilai. In a bikini.”

“Son of a b***h! What a freak. How dare he! Where is this man? I should at least talk to him in person and give him the ‘best treatment’ for appreciating my daughter, right?” 

The danger in uncle’s voice tells me he has a ‘good plan’ for the guy.

"He was taken away by the security and I guess was taken to the police station. I would update on him now after our talk, uncle.”

"Hmm, okay. I'll look into it, don't worry too much, and let me handle things from here. Thank you so much for looking after my daughter Raki. I owe you big time."

My heart swelled with pride from the appreciation. He doesn’t have to say it, I would gladly die for her anyway.

"Uncle, has this happened before? Your daughter mentioned a stalker earlier."

"Ugh yes, she said that there was a stalker visiting her on shoots and events but nothing as close contact as this has happened before. She was never approached in such a manner."

"Then it was better that the stalker has been caught then."

I exhaled in relief. 

"I really am glad that you have considered my request. I couldn't trust anyone better than you, but would you mind telling me what changed your mind? Your father told me twice that you don't want to work in the meantime."

He asked reaching for a mug on the table and sipping his coffee.

"I ugh... let's just say, your daughter reminded me of someone from the past that I wanted to protect."

His eyes rounded in curiosity but didn't ask any more questions which put me at ease. I couldn't disclose my real reason just yet, not until I am sure.

"Okay then, I will send you off now and have your rest. Again, thank you so much, son."

He stood up from his chair and offered me a handshake which I received tightly.

"Please do take care of my daughter. I only have her and no one else."

He begged, looking at me almost in tears.

I inhaled abruptly and answered in all sincerity.

"Yes uncle, I will. Don't worry, I won't let anything like this happen again."

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I came back to Sasi's room to check on her and found her sleeping peacefully. The room was large with pink walls, white curtains, white furniture, and a pink fluffy rug below the white queen-sized bed.

Walking slowly towards her, I sat beside her bed, drinking in all of her magnificent beauty. She is such a pretty face. The resemblance was uncanny. She looks exactly just like her! Only more matured, more glowing, and more alive.

I couldn't contain myself from touching her plump cheeks.

My fingers softly brushed her face and tucked a strand of hair into her ear. Her face now regained its pinkish glow.

You really got me worried there. I promise not to let this happen again. I swear in seven hells, my life is yours, has been and always will be.

I remembered something then reached for the pocket of my suit. I took out the only remembrance that I hold dear. Now I'm returning this to its rightful owner. At least that's what I believe.

I reached for her hand and slide in the silver band, then stared at it for a while.

It fits you perfectly my lady.

Warmth swept through my chest, and I bowed down to kiss the ring on her finger tenderly. This feels so right, so familiar. I just wish that she wouldn't throw this when she wakes up.

I was about to stand up and walk out the door when her fingers suddenly tightened against mine. I was taken by surprise and looked at her face, but she remained sleeping. 

Is she dreaming?

My gaze dropped down to her pink, puckered lips. It looks so inviting, alluring, tempting me to have a taste. My heart beats faster..louder...

Badum...

Badum...

Badum...

Before I knew it my fingers found their way to her lower lip and lightly, tenderly brushed, tracing its outline...

I tried really hard to restraint myself but. . .

My god, I really can't resist it.

There's no harm in taking a peck anyway, and she is sleeping now...

Will God hate me for this?

I thought as I delicately touched my lips into her soft cheek just enough so I could inhale her subtle scent. But that was a wrong move. Really wrong.

Her intoxicatingly delightful lips, just a millimeter away from mine send shivers into my bones, my mind gets clouded with ecstasy and the need to taste its sweet nectar of heaven was very tempting...

I sucked in my breath due to the sudden rush of heat that traveled down my body to my heart, and it didn't stop there, it continued to go downward, finding my crotch.

I jolted in amazement by the sudden impact of the closeness into my system. So, before I could do anything beyond my control, I collected myself together and stepped away from her, taking deep breaths as I was seated on the farthest corner of the room. I need to get away from her.

How I wish...

I wish she knew how much I needed her, how I ached to trap her in my arms, engulfing her in a tight hug, let her feel how much I wanted her.

To let her wonder how I survived this long without her...How much I have waited to be this close to her...But I also know the fact that I can't.

Not yet.

My mind is exploding with so many thoughts that I closed my eyes in pain.

Soon, my sweet Sasi..soon.

***