NOT Your GUARDIAN

DECLINED

I'm just sad because I think, maybe, I already like you, more than I liked anyone before. Tonight, I got slapped in the face with the reality that I'll never be able to call you mine, and what hurts more is that it isn't a very big deal to you.

***Sasi***

**********

BANGKOK, THAILAND

"Welcome home honey! I've missed you so much!"

Mom welcomed me in a tight hug the moment I stepped out of the car. I, together with Raki and the rest arrived at the Lamwilai mansion about past ten in the morning. Her eyes twinkled in so much affection. Her arms automatically encircled me into a very warm embrace.

"Ugh, you missed me so much, you called me only twice."

I said feigning a sulk, letting go from her suffocating hug. I missed her too and I missed to tease her as well like this. I missed her pout every time I pretend to be sulking at her.

"Honey, I'm so sorry, God knows how much I wanted to call you almost every day, but your father warned me that the stalker might trace your location if I do that. Darling I'm really sorry, you don't know how worried I was."

She said cupping my face between her palms, her voice quiver as tears started to form on the rim of her eyes.

"Nah, I'm not angry. I'm just kidding mae, don't cry na. I'm glad that it is all over now. I'm back, and that is all that matters."

I said brushing her back slowly, smile resting at the corners of my lips. Now that I thought about it, I kinda miss my fans. I miss the warm welcome and cheers, even the blinding lights and camera flashes.

"Let's go inside, your father is waiting for you. You lost weight, what have you been doing?"

She touched my cheek one more time and kissed my forehead before she holds my hand and guided me towards the white painted mansion with beige and dark brown accents.

After having to live in a foreign land for a few months, I now realized how lavish our house was. From the grandiose and massive front porch to the high, big cylindrical pillars on both sides of the entrance door, it looks like a cut out from Architech today's magazine. It's big glass windows mirrors the sky and gives such an amazing view specially during sunset. As we enter the big wooden framed glass door, I was welcomed by the familiar scent of home.

"My princess, welcome back. How's your vacation?"

My father immediately stood up from the cream colored couch where he was seating, as we entered the living room. We hugged each other and father gently tapped the back of my shoulder, giving me a feeling of re assurance that everything has taken cared of.

"I am very glad you're finally back, your mother threatened to kill me if I couldn't find the culprit for another month."

He laughed jokingly.

"Thank you for taking care of it for me por, who was it?"

We let go of each other and I settled  to sit, my mother sat beside me, her arms around my shoulders. She really did miss me.

"Don't worry about it, they are in good hands. Probably fondling the jail bars."

We laughed all together in unison.

I am truly happy that they have been taken cared of. I'll be more at ease everytime I have a work to attend. I won't be anxious anymore specially now I have a good security with me.

After the storm, dad called to inform me that it was now fine to go home. So without second thought, we flew back to Thailand the next morning. All of us including Lin.

Daniels, Jose' and Jiro is now on leave to rest and I am stuck with this annoying bastard. My sentiments with him hasn't been settled and I am still confused.

"Uhm por, mae, can I take a rest for a while in my room?"

Raki's gaze darted at me instantly, his wide smile faded slightly, and.. is that a shadow of concern in his brown yes?

"But darling how about lunch? the foods will be ready in a minute. Are you okay? do you feel sick?"

My mother held my hand, worried.

"No mae, I'm fine. Just tired from the trip. I'm not really hungry, Mr. Raki made sure of that."

I couldn't help the slight hard drop of his name slipping out of my tongue, I took a deep breath before standing up and bow respectfully to my dad and the rest.

"Okay princess, you better take a rest and we'll talk later."

My dad taps my shoulder and without a single glance at the standing figure, I turned around and headed for my room to hide away the confusing feelings Raki started to stir within me.

---------------------------------------------------

I decided to call Mild and the rest of my friends to play games with them online. This was the only way I know how to divert my attention and to distract me from having unchastened thoughts. I played and played for merely two hours when..

I heard a soft knock on the door followed by Raki's voice calling for lunch.

"Miss, lunch's ready. Your mother requested me to come and fetch you."

"For a while."

I answered as I messaged my friends who I am playing with at the moment.

'I gotta go guys, parents called for lunch. Catch you later. Mild, cover for me.'

'[No prob.. see you later.']

I logged out of the server then abruptly stood up and walked towards the door. I was surprised to see Raki still waiting outside, I thought he already left but here he was, smiling goofily at my shocked face.

"Ooi, You startled me. I thought you left already."

"Why would I? Your mother clearly said to fetch you, not to just call for you."

He said taking my wrist, pulling me lightly towards his body, so that I got out of the room then he closed the door behind me.

"After you."

He said softly in my ear sending cold shivers down my spine. Now I'm fully aware of his warm body so close to mine, we aren't touching and yet I could feel his presence taking over me. My head began to feel dizzy due to the sudden rush of oxygen into my brain brought up by my thumping heart, and I feel the tightening grip resonating down my navel. He's really good at this game, the flirting game.

"Ughm, Ai sat!"

I cleared my throat, and willed myself to move forward despite the wild urge to wrap my arms around his neck and claim his naughty mouth.

All I could think about now was how bad I wanted to be kissed, and I couldn't find any logical reason why.

I could almost feel his hot gaze on my back as I walk ahead of him towards the dining room.

You can look but you can't touch d**k!.

The smell of delicious food makes my stomach growl in hunger upon entrance to the large dining hall. The twenty two-seater dining table was clothed in a white table mantle with swirls of gold accent at the hem. Equally gold place mats were placed along the occupied seats with plates and utensils on it. The arrangement was grand for a simple lunch for a family of three. Foods were over flowing, there were steamed seafoods, curry, beef steak, stir fried vegetables, roasted duck and my eyes immediately look for my favorite, the crispy pork with basil leaves.

"Mom, what's the occasion? Why there's so many food on the table?"

I asked as I took my seat at my father's right side. My mother was in front of me.

"It's to celebrate your return of course!"

"It's a little lonesome to have an only child. If I have been luckier, I want a dozen children. Hahaha."

My father laughed out loud and my mom pokes him on the side and pouted her red colored lips.

"A dozen? You couldn't even last for two rounds, how could you asked for more?Hmp."

"Oi Oi Oi, don't embarrass me in front of my daughter, she might believe you."

"You and your non sense. Stop it, let's eat."

She rolled her eyes on father and I laughed at their small exchanged banter.

Before I could even grab my spoon, Raki already placed a plate full of foods infront of me including my favorite crispy pork, got a spoon and fork then puts them in my hands. He then placed the white table napkin on my lap. Grabs a glass then fills it with pineapple juice which I like best. There he goes again, treating me like a princess, like a vulnerable piece of glass.

Making me fall for him, and yet I know that he likes someone else. I still couldn't forget the morning he called George after we had s*x!

I don't want to but I've been overly sensitive now when it comes to this asshole's where abouts. I tend to notice each movements no matter how little it may be. Thus making my heart flutter, he looked at me and I hold his gaze for one whole minute, or maybe forever..but eventually, the agitation turned into a moment of embarassment. I looked away from him and saw my parents looking at us awkwardly, my face turned red hot in a hard blush. Then mindlessly, I snapped.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I gazed at Raki hotly.

"I'm serving you? Wasn't it obvious?"

He looked at me innocently but I knew otherwise.

This annoying two-faced bastard!

"Am I handicapped that I can't even eat by myself? I told you stop treating me like a f*****g glass!."

I totally lost out of control, my temper get the best out of me when I feel confused and mortified at the same time. My chest was heaving in ragged breathing, hands fisted at my side. I am so angry.

How could you treat me softly like this then not own your actions?

I am Angry at him for making me look frail in front of my parents, and I'm equally angry at my self for feeling flattered at everything he does for me. This is not right.

"I lost my appetite. Mae, phor, I'm sorry but if you'll excuse me."

I stood up and without a second glance, leave the dining hall.

I walked briskly towards my room and the moment I opened the door, a powerful hand grabbed my elbow, pushed me inside and closed the door.

"What the hell are you doing inside my room? Get out!"

I yelled at Raki who was looking at me. His eyes travelled around my face searching for something.

"What is the problem? Come on, tell me."

He said calmly.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Tell me why are you acting this way? Soft and cuddly one moment then became a rampaging black bear the next. What is it?"

"Huh! You really don't know?"

I said mockingly.

"Enlighten me."

He said sternly. His face was unreadable and it irks me even more.

"It was you who made me feel confused! You act all sweet and caring for me, and yet you flirt with other woman the next!"

I couldn't reign my temper anymore.

"I did what?"

"Yes! That.. That day when we... when we-"

"Made love.."

He supplied.

"Yes! that day, after you're done with me, you called George in the morning to say she's better than me?! How dare you?!"

"What??"

"Don't you dare deny it! I heard your phone call!"

"Wait, you are misunderstanding something. It wasn't George."

I could see the shadow of a restrained smile behind his eyes.

"Don't you dare deny it! I saw you talking on the evacuation area!"

"What? Okay, wait. Let me explain."

He brought up both of his hands in the air.

"Explain my foot! That better be good, you bastard."

I said, crossing my arms along my chest.

"The day on the beach, there was an assasin. A woman. Who came to hurt you, but Jiro and Daniels took care of her right away. That was why the case of your stalker has been solved. And the one I am talking to in the phone was Jiro, if I remember correctly, I said, SHE WAS GOOD, BUT YOU'RE BETTER. Am I correct? is that the one you heard?"

He eyed me warily.

r

"Because it was our duty to protect you. To keep you from any harm including unnecessary thoughts. You don't have to know. You just have to feel safe, and that would be enough."

I was left astounded by the realizations that hit me. Those moments when suddenly one of them will be gone missing and will exchange meaningful looks afterwards. Those nights they patrolled around the house.

"Y-you mean, those times..on the plane?..At the airport? and on the festival?"

"Yes. We have been tailed but we took care of them without you knowing as per your father's advise. He didn't want you to panic. Besides, it was the only way to catch them. And we did."

A shudder run down my body thinking of the possibilities that might have happened to me and I blushed in embarassment.

While they protect me, here I am thinking of trivial matters.

Damn!

"O-okay. It's clear now. Please leave me alone. I want to rest."

I dismissed him.

"If you need anything, just call me. I will be staying at the room next door."

He said before turning away out of my room.

...to be edited..then continued.

I'm just sad because I think, maybe, I already like you, more than I liked anyone before. Tonight, I got slapped in the face with the reality that I'll never be able to call you mine, and what hurts more is that it isn't a very big deal to you.

***Sasi***

**********

BANGKOK, THAILAND

"Welcome home honey! I've missed you so much!"

Mom welcomed me in a tight hug the moment I stepped out of the car. I, together with Raki and the rest arrived at the Lamwilai mansion about past ten in the morning. Her eyes twinkled in so much affection. Her arms automatically encircled me into a very warm embrace.

"Ugh, you missed me so much, you called me only twice."

I said feigning a sulk, letting go from her suffocating hug. I missed her too and I missed to tease her as well like this. I missed her pout every time I pretend to be sulking at her.

"Honey, I'm so sorry, God knows how much I wanted to call you almost every day, but your father warned me that the stalker might trace your location if I do that. Darling I'm really sorry, you don't know how worried I was."

She said cupping my face between her palms, her voice quiver as tears started to form on the rim of her eyes.

"Nah, I'm not angry. I'm just kidding mae, don't cry na. I'm glad that it is all over now. I'm back, and that is all that matters."

I said brushing her back slowly, smile resting at the corners of my lips. Now that I thought about it, I kinda miss my fans. I miss the warm welcome and cheers, even the blinding lights and camera flashes.

"Let's go inside, your father is waiting for you. You lost weight, what have you been doing?"

She touched my cheek one more time and kissed my forehead before she holds my hand and guided me towards the white painted mansion with beige and dark brown accents.

After having to live in a foreign land for a few months, I now realized how lavish our house was. From the grandiose and massive front porch to the high, big cylindrical pillars on both sides of the entrance door, it looks like a cut out from Architech today's magazine. It's big glass windows mirrors the sky and gives such an amazing view specially during sunset. As we enter the big wooden framed glass door, I was welcomed by the familiar scent of home.

"My princess, welcome back. How's your vacation?"

My father immediately stood up from the cream colored couch where he was seating, as we entered the living room. We hugged each other and father gently tapped the back of my shoulder, giving me a feeling of re assurance that everything has taken cared of.

"I am very glad you're finally back, your mother threatened to kill me if I couldn't find the culprit for another month."

He laughed jokingly.

"Thank you for taking care of it for me por, who was it?"

We let go of each other and I settled  to sit, my mother sat beside me, her arms around my shoulders. She really did miss me.

"Don't worry about it, they are in good hands. Probably fondling the jail bars."

We laughed all together in unison.

I am truly happy that they have been taken cared of. I'll be more at ease everytime I have a work to attend. I won't be anxious anymore specially now I have a good security with me.

After the storm, dad called to inform me that it was now fine to go home. So without second thought, we flew back to Thailand the next morning. All of us including Lin.

Daniels, Jose' and Jiro is now on leave to rest and I am stuck with this annoying bastard. My sentiments with him hasn't been settled and I am still confused.

"Uhm por, mae, can I take a rest for a while in my room?"

Raki's gaze darted at me instantly, his wide smile faded slightly, and.. is that a shadow of concern in his brown yes?

"But darling how about lunch? the foods will be ready in a minute. Are you okay? do you feel sick?"

My mother held my hand, worried.

"No mae, I'm fine. Just tired from the trip. I'm not really hungry, Mr. Raki made sure of that."

I couldn't help the slight hard drop of his name slipping out of my tongue, I took a deep breath before standing up and bow respectfully to my dad and the rest.

"Okay princess, you better take a rest and we'll talk later."

My dad taps my shoulder and without a single glance at the standing figure, I turned around and headed for my room to hide away the confusing feelings Raki started to stir within me.

---------------------------------------------------

I decided to call Mild and the rest of my friends to play games with them online. This was the only way I know how to divert my attention and to distract me from having unchastened thoughts. I played and played for merely two hours when..

I heard a soft knock on the door followed by Raki's voice calling for lunch.

"Miss, lunch's ready. Your mother requested me to come and fetch you."

"For a while."

I answered as I messaged my friends who I am playing with at the moment.

'I gotta go guys, parents called for lunch. Catch you later. Mild, cover for me.'

'[No prob.. see you later.']

I logged out of the server then abruptly stood up and walked towards the door. I was surprised to see Raki still waiting outside, I thought he already left but here he was, smiling goofily at my shocked face.

"Ooi, You startled me. I thought you left already."

"Why would I? Your mother clearly said to fetch you, not to just call for you."

He said taking my wrist, pulling me lightly towards his body, so that I got out of the room then he closed the door behind me.

"After you."

He said softly in my ear sending cold shivers down my spine. Now I'm fully aware of his warm body so close to mine, we aren't touching and yet I could feel his presence taking over me. My head began to feel dizzy due to the sudden rush of oxygen into my brain brought up by my thumping heart, and I feel the tightening grip resonating down my navel. He's really good at this game, the flirting game.

"Ughm, Ai sat!"

I cleared my throat, and willed myself to move forward despite the wild urge to wrap my arms around his neck and claim his naughty mouth.

All I could think about now was how bad I wanted to be kissed, and I couldn't find any logical reason why.

I could almost feel his hot gaze on my back as I walk ahead of him towards the dining room.

You can look but you can't touch d**k!.

The smell of delicious food makes my stomach growl in hunger upon entrance to the large dining hall. The twenty two-seater dining table was clothed in a white table mantle with swirls of gold accent at the hem. Equally gold place mats were placed along the occupied seats with plates and utensils on it. The arrangement was grand for a simple lunch for a family of three. Foods were over flowing, there were steamed seafoods, curry, beef steak, stir fried vegetables, roasted duck and my eyes immediately look for my favorite, the crispy pork with basil leaves.

"Mom, what's the occasion? Why there's so many food on the table?"

I asked as I took my seat at my father's right side. My mother was in front of me.

"It's to celebrate your return of course!"

"It's a little lonesome to have an only child. If I have been luckier, I want a dozen children. Hahaha."

My father laughed out loud and my mom pokes him on the side and pouted her red colored lips.

"A dozen? You couldn't even last for two rounds, how could you asked for more?Hmp."

"Oi Oi Oi, don't embarrass me in front of my daughter, she might believe you."

"You and your non sense. Stop it, let's eat."

She rolled her eyes on father and I laughed at their small exchanged banter.

Before I could even grab my spoon, Raki already placed a plate full of foods infront of me including my favorite crispy pork, got a spoon and fork then puts them in my hands. He then placed the white table napkin on my lap. Grabs a glass then fills it with pineapple juice which I like best. There he goes again, treating me like a princess, like a vulnerable piece of glass.

Making me fall for him, and yet I know that he likes someone else. I still couldn't forget the morning he called George after we had s*x!

I don't want to but I've been overly sensitive now when it comes to this asshole's where abouts. I tend to notice each movements no matter how little it may be. Thus making my heart flutter, he looked at me and I hold his gaze for one whole minute, or maybe forever..but eventually, the agitation turned into a moment of embarassment. I looked away from him and saw my parents looking at us awkwardly, my face turned red hot in a hard blush. Then mindlessly, I snapped.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I gazed at Raki hotly.

"I'm serving you? Wasn't it obvious?"

He looked at me innocently but I knew otherwise.

This annoying two-faced bastard!

"Am I handicapped that I can't even eat by myself? I told you stop treating me like a f*****g glass!."

I totally lost out of control, my temper get the best out of me when I feel confused and mortified at the same time. My chest was heaving in ragged breathing, hands fisted at my side. I am so angry.

How could you treat me softly like this then not own your actions?

I am Angry at him for making me look frail in front of my parents, and I'm equally angry at my self for feeling flattered at everything he does for me. This is not right.

"I lost my appetite. Mae, phor, I'm sorry but if you'll excuse me."

I stood up and without a second glance, leave the dining hall.

I walked briskly towards my room and the moment I opened the door, a powerful hand grabbed my elbow, pushed me inside and closed the door.

"What the hell are you doing inside my room? Get out!"

I yelled at Raki who was looking at me. His eyes travelled around my face searching for something.

"What is the problem? Come on, tell me."

He said calmly.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Tell me why are you acting this way? Soft and cuddly one moment then became a rampaging black bear the next. What is it?"

"Huh! You really don't know?"

I said mockingly.

"Enlighten me."

He said sternly. His face was unreadable and it irks me even more.

"It was you who made me feel confused! You act all sweet and caring for me, and yet you flirt with other woman the next!"

I couldn't reign my temper anymore.

"I did what?"

"Yes! That.. That day when we... when we-"

"Made love.."

He supplied.

"Yes! that day, after you're done with me, you called George in the morning to say she's better than me?! How dare you?!"

"What??"

"Don't you dare deny it! I heard your phone call!"

"Wait, you are misunderstanding something. It wasn't George."

I could see the shadow of a restrained smile behind his eyes.

"Don't you dare deny it! I saw you talking on the evacuation area!"

"What? Okay, wait. Let me explain."

He brought up both of his hands in the air.

"Explain my foot! That better be good, you bastard."

I said, crossing my arms along my chest.

"The day on the beach, there was an assasin. A woman. Who came to hurt you, but Jiro and Daniels took care of her right away. That was why the case of your stalker has been solved. And the one I am talking to in the phone was Jiro, if I remember correctly, I said, SHE WAS GOOD, BUT YOU'RE BETTER. Am I correct? is that the one you heard?"

He eyed me warily.

r

"Because it was our duty to protect you. To keep you from any harm including unnecessary thoughts. You don't have to know. You just have to feel safe, and that would be enough."

I was left astounded by the realizations that hit me. Those moments when suddenly one of them will be gone missing and will exchange meaningful looks afterwards. Those nights they patrolled around the house.

"Y-you mean, those times..on the plane?..At the airport? and on the festival?"

"Yes. We have been tailed but we took care of them without you knowing as per your father's advise. He didn't want you to panic. Besides, it was the only way to catch them. And we did."

A shudder run down my body thinking of the possibilities that might have happened to me and I blushed in embarassment.

While they protect me, here I am thinking of trivial matters.

Damn!

"O-okay. It's clear now. Please leave me alone. I want to rest."

I dismissed him.

"If you need anything, just call me. I will be staying at the room next door."

He said before turning away out of my room.

...to be edited..then continued.