My Alpha Crush Love

chapter#five# ( insult level 100%)

I was moving with the speed of bullet train because I known that I'm late and collage gates can closed for me. I thought how can I reach as soon as possible. I took few minutes pause so I can think about everything but my mind was boiling up. I was walking towards the collage but in the path one mysterious things happen with me. One black car came in front of me and start making horn. I thought may be he is Zion and now he is teasing me.

I was getting angery, I took few steps closer to the car and start screaming.

" You fucker gets off from the car otherwise I will hit you."

There was no response coming out from the car. I again screamed out and said;

" Zion I'm giving you warning came out from the car otherwise I will kill you ! came out from the car right now or otherwise leave my way."

The car was already fully black, there glass were black so I can't see who was driving. The car has a personality of its own with those raised and rounded headlamps. The car hugged the black tarmac, bright headlamps illuminating the onward road. I gets closer to the car but before that I went to the footpath and

took few stones.

I start throwing over his car because I was angry last day and now he is just wasting my time and he came out from the car and said;

" Ahhh lady wait a minute please came down salena I'm Everton!... clam down. "

I was shocked to see it's was Everton not Zion. My mouth opened and I stones fall down from my hand. My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up. After a wash of cold I step from the shadows, feeling a new warmth to the day. I saw saw Everton was on his knew to relax me. He take off his sunglasses and said;

" I think you are just overwhelmed? Salena are you okay tell me ?"

" Yeah! Yeah ! I'm good tell me what happened to you why you stop my way?"

" First tell me why you were throwing stone over us? Are you mad or extra protected?"

I start laughing and said;

" Well I'm extra protected to myself I can't allow anyone to hurt me. Well what are you doing here? "

" Well I was going to my office than I noticed you so I thought may be I should drop you to collage but I think it was a bad idea hahahaha."

" Hahahaha Yes it was a bad idea!"

I get closer to him and shake hand with him. He was quite good, his hand were soft and cold like a ice. I was clearly saw his hot looks and beautiful eye who staring my face. I said;

" Well I'm sorry! I don't want to hurt you. I was just scared that may be someone going to hurt me and I was not aware of anything. "

" But I heard you call me Zion? what happened why you want to hurt him. "

" I think it non of your business, Zion and mine matter is different. "

" Okay okay relax you can come with me I can drop you at your college? what do you think? "

I thought may be it is a good idea, I check time and I was already late for my class. I again saw his car and his offer than I thought may be it is way too early to get some help from him. I was feeling not comfortable with him.

" Sorry Everton but I don't feel comfortable to take help from you I will go to collage by walk I hope you don't take serious."

" But why are you uncomfortable with me ? gave me reason."

" You are strange for me and I can't take help from stranger. "

" We are not stranger! you can trust me. "

I start remembering the day when I was visiting the frozen lake with mother, she was holding my hand and we were staking over it. It was the time of Christmas and we were enjoying the vibes. we went to the deepest side of the lake, suddenly we noticed something strange with was not looking good holding stops. The pond is strange. The ice isn't flat like it should be but broken, more like the bark of a tree. In the cracks the water is mis-coloured, more like glacial melt water in its brilliant blue. He crouches down to detect the aroma, it's like nothing he's ever smelt before, not bitter, not sweet, not like pollution. Taking a stick she pokes at the ice and it's as solid as it looks.

Mother said;

" Look salena there is something going on here."

" What mother?"

I was trying hard to see what really mother wants to show me.

she dips the stick into the water and moves in just the way it should, just slower. The ripples radiate out as he expected, but almost as if in slow motion. she takes her eyes off the water and stands up, listening and watching. All is quiet. Hardly even a breeze in the trees. Yet somewhere in the trees a bird sings in normal time, a melody he's heard a thousand times over and never before. After few minutes, I looked backward and noticed that one strange men was coming because we forget our path so I thought may be we can take help from him. I went to him and asked for help but he doesn't help us he robbed us.

I promised myself at that time I will never ever trust over anyone and today I'm front of me there is exactly same situation.

I said to him;

" Sorry I can't trust strangers ."

I start walking over the footpath and he took few minute of pause and start walking with me. He said;

" Okay if you can't come with me in the car than I can join you for walk I hope you don't feel annoying in it."

I start laughing and said;

" No I'm not feeling!... you can come with me."

He asked;

" So Salena what do you do? like what you want to do in future?"

I said;

" well I wake up and think about it that what I really wanted to be than I looked myself in the that what if I became just a good person who don't hurt anyone? like everyone now a days is busy to hurt people emotions and I just wanted to be a person who can pass happiness not became a mystery. ofcourse end of the day, I just want to be proud of the person I have become. I want to be proud of the love.I gave of the way in which I risked my heart despite being hurt. I want to be proud of the effort I showed those I cared about; I want to know with a ruthless certainty that I showed up as much as I could, that I made people feel seen, that I made those around me

feel less alone in this chaotic world. I want to be proud of my life of the way I healed, of the way I made mistakes and learned from them, of the way I felt every-thing even when it wasn't convenient or comfortable. I want to be proud of the way I grew, of the way I let go of the way I pushed myself to be a better person. At the end of the day, I just want to be able to say without

hesitation that I lived my life, that I did not just take a back seat to my pain, or to my flaws, or to whatever hardships came my way. I want to be able to say that

I am proud of the way I survived. I want to be able to say that I did not take one day for granted."

" Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided not to try it at all? Or has a fear of failure

meant that, subconsciously, you undermined your own efforts to avoid the possibility of a larger failure? Fear of

failure is the most dangerous disease which can plague an individual. It paralyzes our thoughts to such an extent that we are unable to take any action. The reason we fear failure so much is our excessive focus on the bad impacts

it will have on us. We also fear that it will downgrade our morale and lower our self image. We also fear what others

will say about us. Avoid people who shake your confidence, who don't have faith in you, who keep instilling doubt in you. Ignore them even if they are your

near and dear ones. Whatever, the outcome is, stay positive. If it doesn't turn out to your expectation or liking,

take that as a learning process. Learn from your experiences and don't try to make the same mistakes. Once you cultivate this habit, there would be no room for fear."

" Fear is the best thing if we don't feel afraid from wrong things than what will encourage us to became good person. " Ohh looked collage is here.

" Ohh I think we talk alot! "

" Yeah I think now it is time to go! see you everton."

" See you! "

I went inside the collage after handshake. I was scared to known what is happening here.

At college;

I reached out to the college grounds. Nancy was already there. She waved to me and I waved her back.

She screamingly said;

" salena! I'm here. Come here quickly!"

I moved towards her and said;

" Relax, Nancy, I'm here! What are you doing? What do you want to show me?"

Nancy said:

" Come with us! Clara and Mark have something very important to show you?"

But before I went with them, Zion got there in his car. Jasmine was also with him. Both were giving the couple goals, both were wearing the same color blue clothes, which was another f*****g shock.

Nancy said:

" Just ignore him!"

I said;

" Yes! I just don't care about them."

He held her waist and both moved towards their mutual friends group. He kissed Jasmine in front of the whole camp and said bye to her, while I was shockingly seeing every single thing they were doing.

I was thinking he was just trying to make me more and more jealous, but he doesn't know I don't care about him.

He moved towards me after saying bye to jasmine, while jasmine went inside the campus.

He came forward and I was trying to pretend cool, said,

" Salena, how are you? How are your feet now?"

I said with sulk expressions;

" Ohhh! Hello, how are you? How are you doing? Ohh wait a minute, you are doing great with your girlfriend."

Nancy tried to stop me but I was just frustrated by saying to him. I said;

" Nancy, please let me talk!"

He started laughing at me. He said:

" Nancy, can you please leave us for a minute!"

Nancy started moving inside. I held her hand and said:

" wait ! Nancy? I'm coming with you. I don't want to talk to him."

He said;

" but we need to talk! "

I said;

" Let's go, Nancy! "

I walked inside the campus, Nancy was giving me a sulking expression. Why am I doing that? But she didn't know the truth behind our conversation about what I saw and what happened yesterday.

She took me to the locker room and said,

" What the hell are you doing? Salena, he is Zion ! You are ignoring him? Have you lost your mind, girl? What suddenly happened to you? I can't get it?"

I opened the locker and in a moment Mark and Clara went inside the locker.

Mark said;

" Salena! Just seen the campus newspaper headline?"

I said;

" Now what is that? "

He showed me headlines about my Zion. I said:

" Whohh! Who rubbish! Who wrote that? Who is behind this news? Tell me who that is! I'm gonna kill him."

Clara said;

" Salena! Actually, there is one more thing ! I heard this headline yesterday made by none of the other Zion!"

I said;

" Now you are kidding! Seriously, he is f*****g jasmine in front of my house door, and now it is just the headline of our affair what he is trying to do! "

Clara said;

" Just don't be an i***t and try to relax! Don't overreact now! Just be cool."

I said;

" The rumours are spreading like fire! This is an insult to me guys! Now you can all say, be relaxed, tell me?"

Nancy said:

" Okay then talk to him! Mark and Clara. I hope you both are satisfied with my advice."

Clara said;

" This is not a good salon. You need to avoid him. If you talk to him he will think that you care about this!"

I said;

" You are right! Avoiding him is the best option, guys. I need your help! Sports week is coming and I need your help."

They said Yes sure, we will help you. We started preparing the banners and painted banners on them. We were using the art gallery for our work.

Markus went inside the gallery, and entered the room. He said,

" ohhh so here you are! "

Clara marked and they gazed at his face and said:

" What happened to you?"

he said;

" Guys relax! Mum Suzy called Salena in the staff room, just salena."

I walked with Markus to the staff room. I was just wondering what was going on.

I asked Markus;

" Is everything okay? Why is she calling me out?*

he said;

" I don't know, she just said to the salena to the staff."

I said;

" okay! I'm going forward."

I walked inside the staff room. Zion was there. Unfortunately, he quickly moved towards me and locked the room door.

He put the keys in his pocket and sat on the table.

He said ;

" Now tell me what is happening to you?"

I said;

" So it was a trap for me? What do you want. Why tell me? Why are you doing this? Why do you suddenly notice me and try to get close to me? I saw you when you were f*****g jasmine outside my house. If he really like me or in love with me so he will not do like that? who cannot love you back at the moment, please understand that this is not a reflection of your worth. Sometimes life weathers people in different ways. We are all on this Earth just trying to figure ourselves out, just trying to mend the breaks in our souls, just trying to deal with what is heavy within us. Sometimes, we're ready and another person is not. Sometimes, we try, and another person does not. Sometimes, we pour ourselves into another human being and they cannot contain all that we are. Sometimes, we fight, and another person surrenders. Sometimes, we choose to make things work, and another person decides that they cannot choose that same reality. And that is okay.

Because at the end of the day, if someone does not meet you where you are, you cannot keep asking them to do so. If someone cannot reciprocate your love, if someone cannot give you what you truly deserve, you have to understand that aching for them to do so before they are ready is a form of self destruction. Your heart is a vast and tender thing. you cannot keep trying to shrink it into what someone else needs. You cannot keep pouring your love into a vessel that cannot contain it. You cannot keep pouring your love into a soul that has not opened their eyes to all that they are receiving. You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it. It will only leave you empty. You have to walk away. You have to let this person grow on their own terms, because you can't love someone into their potential. You can't love someone into being ready.

They have to do that on their own.

And yes, it is so achingly difficult to walk away from someone you deeply care

for. It is so hard to lay all of that love down, to close your heart off to all that it

sees in another human being. But in walking away you will learn how to pour all of the love that you were giving to the wrong person, back into yourself. And

you will learn how to pour it into all that you desire in life, you will learn how to

pour it into your growth, into your art, into your hope. You will learn how to

stand up for your feeling, how to stand up for its value. And when you teach

yourself that you deserve to be loved, without having to beg for that love,

without having to chase that love down, you open yourself to the kind of beauty

that chooses you just as freely as you choose it. You open yourself to the kind of people who see you and immediately know that you are a rare and beautiful

thing. You open yourself to new beginnings, to a future that unfolds in ways that don't hurt or break you down, but rather., build you up, and show you just how worthy you are of having your heart held."

He said;

" Ohhh so you watched that! Great, I also want it. You know why I like your jealous behavior towards me, about why you feel jealous of my relationship! Why you cared about me? why you reacted? Are you getting attach to me? Are you feeling afraid to have me in your life? Are you afraid to get closer to me or you are just overreacting on my behavior"

I said;

" Ohhh! jealously my foot I'm really jealous of you and your bimbo's than it's your a great dream but there is nothing like that now leave my way otherwise I will call Madam lily ohhh! Now try out again, Zion. Now leave my way and open the door."

he said;

" Ohh you really think I will open the door, hahahaha salena. How innocent you are! You are talking to me about us and how can you leave such type of important conversation in the middle. Just tell me how you feel when you see us? what was your emotions? How you feel? "

" You are monster in human body! just leave my way Zion please I'm tired. "

I looked towards his face with anger. I tried to unlock the door,but I failed. He enjoyed my efforts and said,

" Salena try again babe!"

I said;

' ohhh! Just shut up! You were mine crush my now you are just my enemy! Why are you doing that? Just open it and leave me. Your girlfriend is waiting for you on that binbo jasmine!"

He started laughing hilariously and said:

" Ohh! My darling Salena, she is just a gold digger. She is interested in my money, not in me! She is playing with me, so I'm playing with her."

I said;

" Whatever! Now open it!"

he said!

" No! Today do we have a nice date here?"

I said;

" You are forgetting about sports week, we have to do work! ohhh we have to do work together now. Open it."

Zion said;

" It's not gonna happen darling, stay with me here till the end of the day."

I started screaming and he put his hands on my mouth. He grabbed me towards him and said:

" Shhhhh remember I said the words? "

I was staring at his big blue ocean eyes which were just again seducing me, he said:

" I want to dive too deep, remember? What's that meaning to tell me?"

I nodded and tried to say something, but because of his hand, I couldn't say anything. I tried to push him but he was too strong. Be said;

" hahah you can't push me out this Time salena so this try is waste of time and energy."

He removed his hand and I took a deep breath. I said:

" What the hell are you trying to do? enough Zion, Please open the door now!"

He took steps back and sat on the chair. He was staring at me with strange eyes, and said:

" Your trying is useless, darling, sit here and try to relax babe."

" Now you are irritating me. Why are you doing this?"

" just to have a nice date with you."

" This is not gonna work."

" Okay, so what's gonna work, you tell me?"

" The consent is more important consent and you are doing just against it. You have to understand this."

" Okay, you mean I'm working okay!"

I took the keys and threw them on the table, he said;

" Here is your key. Now you can go. Open the door now."

I took my keys and quickly opened the door. I walked out of the office and gazed back. He was still sitting there. I was thinking, what should I do now?

I took two steps back and said:

" Now what are you doing here? Come with me. We have to do a lot of work together."

he said;

" Okay but on one condition."

I said;

" Now what?"

he said;

" That you will be my friend."

I was thinking, Zion, you don't know how much I like you, how badly I want your friendship, your love. You don't know you are my ultimate cush of lifetime. In my whole life I don't attract anyone to expect you. You are my ultimate love of life, your smile, the way you talk to me, the way you walk, the way you try to get close with me, the way you see me to I'm just obsessed with it. How can I tell you that I really like you? I want your attention.

Zion, I fall for you every time I see you.