My Corona

It's awkward for one to be social, especially when you have been deprived of the tools to completely express yourself. But this man completely wore her down, and he didn't even have to do much to get her attention. He felt...familiar, even saying his name felt sacred. She thought, it must not be his first time around here, she felt him in the silent parts of her that existed before. The problem with believing in reincarnation and aliens is that no one is ready to believe with you, you sound weird even saying random words like 'alien' and 'reincarnation', you're naturally shaken down like a person who says 'explosion' at an airport, automatically you're seen as terroristy, doesn't matter if you were talking about cherry bombs, see... So we reject that part of ourselves, even suppress it in the hopes that it won't come out while we're high or sleeping. I didn't know this man but I knew him, oxymorons have been the general guideline of my life, like the fundamentals to any political party being born, initially the intentions are pure, but as time goes on, people become clouded in a mist of power and booty calls, nobody remembers the cause anymore. I wasn't a politician, but my holistic sanity depended upon me talking to my true self now and again, and something told me that this boy with the devil smirk and the esoteric ocean eyes was going to be the death of me again. I'm sure one is fixated on the word 'again', see, getting into that would require me to dig deeper than my current life and state of being, flip, i don't have that type of time, that's how we die, by constantly trying to bring back the past, to relive it or console it- none of that crap should be done, it just hurts. So then I realised the depth of my recognition of this flaming soul cities away from me, it wasn't s****l what i felt for him, it was spiritual and a bit disconcerting at times, like I'm sitting there like, "b***h, what the f**k is wrong with you?" i don't know, but all I know for now is I'm a moth attracted to his flames, I'm hoping just to burn a little...