Running into you

Drinking and dancing and drinking and dancing again on top of a bar table. She drowns her sorrows and pain. As if she was reliving the past pain all over again. Her mother doesn’t want her and father was never around. Broken and abandoned she loses all hope. From the moment she was born to now. she is nothing more than a door mat and an empty shell to the eyes of everyone. Deep down there’s a woman who just wants to be freed. Free from the people who used her, from people who multiunit her, and caused her mental damage. All the people from past to present. Everyone who seems to not want you to go but still lacks the knowledge to know when they’ve hurt you or even knowledge they are not even truly hearing you but just dealing with you. You’ve fought and fought and fought some more. Yet, trying to understand but there’s no answer. You’re still trying. The more you try the more you’ll get hurt in the process. No matter how much you’ve expressed or get people to see. It’s still not enough. She finds herself expressing and apologizing. Yet, it’s still isn’t enough for anyone: not your mom, your sisters, son, and your child’s father. It’s all your fault you say to yourself. You’ve ate up everything like you’ve always done. Leaving everything hidden within the darkness unwilling to let those emotions out. The indirects, belittling, direct insults, and bullying. The years of mental suffering has lead you to two or more hospital visits. You’re dancing to your own tune and humming to your own beat of your own drums. As if singing a lullaby. Drifting you back into your slumber not wanting to wake up from all the madness of the world.