A slight breeze welcomed her the moment she was free of the confining walls of the cabin. Its coolness raked over her, soothing her senses and causing a slight shiver to cascade down her spine. She tucked her jacket around her and walked toward the hill.
After almost a year of being here she still could not believe the beauty this country held. The night was clear with no smog obstructing the view of the glistening stars. The moon touched down on the trees’ branches with a light glimmer and the evening breeze caught the scent of prairie flowers, filling the clearing with their sweetness.
She breathed deeply as she looked over the moon kissed valley. On a clear night like tonight she could stand on top of the hill and look out over the valley to watch the lanterns burn in the village windows. During the day she could see the small rolling hills spotted with livestock grazing in the distance and the occasional ribbon of wagon roads. Tonight the hills stood as dark shadows in the distance. She could stand on this hill morning, noon, and night and never tire of the beautiful scenes.
The sound of the nearby creek called to her. It was deep enough to bathe in on warm nights. Many times she had sunk into the cool water and soaked all her worries and stiff muscles away. She could almost feel the cool water encompassing her in its soothing depths as it pulled the heat and sweat from her skin. She looked towards its beckoning and recognized the invitation to step into the flowing spring and shivered. No, tonight was not a warm night.
Instead Claire walked to her favorite spot and sat on the cool grass thinking hard about what Lilith asked and desperately fighting the worry over Cal’s absence. Their sister. How wonderful the thought was. She’d never had sisters before. The thought excited her, but she couldn’t help but wonder if that would be all she was destined to be.
Shaundra!
Would it be Shaundra instead of her that would be part of the children’s lives? Her heart broke at the thought of Cal moving on to build a family with the jeweler and the children, but she couldn’t blame him.
Though Claire had not been unkind to Cal, she had often been cool and distant towards him-- outside of training and caring for the children. Of course he would eventually start noticing other women. She decided that if he did find someone else it would be for the better anyway. At least then it would relieve a great deal of stress on her. Shaundra, the jeweler, would make a stable mother figure to the kids!
The kids mother? Her heart shattered as she thought of the children not having a mother. With much resolve she decided it was best to let go of her feelings for Cal so that the children would have the opportunity to have a proper mother in their lives.
She allowed a few tears to drop, realizing Cal was lost to her and that should she survive against Leishmann she would be completely and utterly alone.
Claire was so caught up in her thoughts that she did not hear the light footsteps approaching. When a twig broke directly behind her she rolled instinctively to her feet with the dagger before her.
“Wow, wow there C, it’s just me!” Cal’s voice shattered the calmness of the night before she had fully turned. She slid the knife into its sheath, chastising herself for allowing the sound of his voice to send shivers of relief and joy through her. He was home, safe.
“Good way to get yourself killed!” She grumbled. He took a step closer and she became aware of how alone they were, and how unlikely it was they would be interrupted. Her heart thundered and she was afraid to look at him, fearing he would see her reaction to a man that could never be hers.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I saw you sitting here and you looked so involved with your thoughts, I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
“Well you did,” she said sharply, her conflicting thoughts causing her words to be harsher than she intended. She wanted to throw herself into Cal’s arms and confess her worries and at the same time she wanted to hit him for no other offense than being the man of her dreams and wanting another woman.
“C, are you upset with me?” he asked cautiously. She knew he must be wondering what he had done and she mentally kicked herself for the brusque response.
“No, I was just surprised. Go on inside, the kids are waiting for you to kiss them goodnight,” she said, trying to soften the edge of her voice. She wanted him to leave her alone before she did something stupid...like kiss him.
“I was hoping that we could talk for a bit,” he said cautiously.
“About what?” She felt equally cautious.
“Well…let’s sit. It’s a beautiful night tonight.”
“If you are going to talk about the weather, I’m sorry I didn’t use my knife,” she said, ignoring his invitation to sit. He chuckled and she felt his smile radiate through the air. Another shiver ran over her which she stubbornly attributed to the chilly night. It had nothing to do with imagining his crooked grin and mischievously sparkling eyes.
“I wanted to thank you. You have been amazing with my brother and sisters. They adore you and I can tell how much you love them.” She relaxed. The kids were a safe topic.
“Yes, I do. I think it would be hard not to,” she shrugged trying to make light of the conversation, but it was eating her up inside knowing that he had been with Shaundra all night. “They are great kids Cal, you should be very proud of them.”
“I am. You don’t know the relief I felt when I found them or the anger when I saw how horribly they were treated.” She watched his silhouette run its hand through his hair. She had to hold back the impulse to test the smoothness of his dark locks.
“Your brothers have been wonderful with Jamerico. He looks at them like they’re demigods or something. It’s fun to watch them with the girls too. You’d never believe two gruff-looking men could be so completely overrun by little people in skirts.” He was babbling. Claire fought a smile. Somehow it made her feel empowered to know she unnerved him. “Course, they were probably like that with you too, though you may not have been as much trouble.”
“Keith told me earlier today they are a million times worse. My brothers called me a spitfire, but those two can work your emotions every shade this side of the sun,” she gave a weak smile and a desperate sadness filled her imagining Shaundra enjoying the roller coasters that were Lilith and Midlyn.
“C, I want you to help me raise them.” The words seemed to escape him before he could think them through, but she heard no regret in the slip. “They love you. You are the only woman they have known who’s treated them like a mother should-- since their own mother died. I want them to know that they have you to count on no matter what may happen to me.” Claire was momentarily stunned into silence. Her heart soared and then all at once came tumbling down. He was only talking about the present. He meant that should something happen before he was wed he needed her to care for the kids. Did he expect something to happen to him?
“Cal, is there something wrong? Did you learn something today that I should know about?”
“Claire,” He rarely used her full name, but it flowed tenderly from his mouth. “This will end soon, this false sense of security. Eventually I will have to go to battle against my father and Teisha. I need to know that the kids will be taken care of if I don’t come back. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to me and them being left without a soul to care for them.”
“You forget I’ll be going with you. That’s what I’ve been training; to do to fulfill the prophecy and destroy your father.” She heard him sigh. “I’m not going to be here to kiss away their pains and sooth their fears if I fail,” she said bitterly, the thought filling her with regret. How she wanted to stay and take care of them.
“Every woman is trained to fight to some degree. It’s the only way we men feel better about leaving you alone when we go to battle. Now, before you get your temper up, I don’t mean that women can’t handle things as well as a man, I’m just saying male ego likes to believe that you are safer with us around. It’s sort of a feeling of worth to us.” He paused. Is that really what they thought? “Claire, I want you to take care of them no matter what and if we both survive...I’d like you to raise them...with me.”
“That’s a very serious thing to ask me. Shouldn’t you be asking Shaundra that question?” He took a step closer, but started at the name. She turned away from him, not wanting him to see her tears glistening in the moonlight.
“Cal, I am supposed to defeat Leishmann. I have no idea how or when that is supposed to happen, I just know that through me his time of power will end,” she sighed, her head falling forward. “What if I die? Or worse what if I live and I am forced to watch you and Shaundra together, raising our kids?” She felt him move closer. A firm hand on her shoulder turned her to face him.
“Claire, what are you talking about?” He hooked his finger under her chin and lifted her face. She met his gaze reluctantly and felt herself become locked in his eyes They each tried to discern what the other was thinking in the dim light of the moon. After what seemed an eternity his hand moved down her shoulder and softly traced a path to her hand, sending a ripple of gooseflesh in its wake.
“You heard I’ve been spending time with Shaundra in the jewelry shop, haven’t you?” An involuntary cry of pain escaped her at the admission. She tried to pull away from him, but he refused to let her budge. “Oh, Claire.” He pulled her into his arms and after a brief, halfhearted struggle, she allowed him to hold her. To comfort her.
“I have something for you.” She stepped back, attempting to pull free again and needing to put some distance between them before she did something she’d regret. Cal tightened his grip and pulled her back to him. His face got so close to her, too close. She could feel his breath caress her cheek as he leaned in.
“I found some stones in the dry stream bed. They perfectly match the violet in your eyes. I have been having Shaundra help me turn them into a gift for you.” What was he saying? “There is nothing going on between me and the jeweler. I simply needed her help to make you this.” He turned her hand and dropped a small leather pouch in her hand.
She looked at him for a long moment, unable to look away, unable to focus on the leather bag, and completely incapable of comprehending what he had told her. Was it true? He was not going to be with Shaundra?
“Are you going to even look at it?” He sounded a bit unsure and nervous. To answer his question she dumped the contents in her palm. Cool stones rolled in her hand and she tested their smoothness with her fingers. With a grin Cal shifted her hand so she could see the colors sparkle in the moonlight. The small necklace was simple, yet breathtakingly beautiful.
“It’s really pretty, but Cal, I can’t...”
“Here, let me put it on you. I thought it would be fun for the girls to steal it from you. I know how little girls like to get into their mother’s things. You never take your mother’s necklace off, so I figured this would be fun for them to play with. You are, after all, the closest thing to a mother they have.” He took the stones from her hand as he spoke. He paused and watched her for a moment, giving her the opportunity to deny the gift if she wanted to. She didn’t want to.
When she numbly nodded he smiled and turned her so he could place the necklace around her neck. Was this really happening to her? Less than an hour ago she had been heartbroken over Cal finding another woman and now here he was placing jewelry around her neck and basically asking her to be the mother of his children-well his brother and sisters anyway. She decided in that moment she would never push this man away again and she would stop at nothing to make him hers.
After he fastened the clasp he arranged her hair around her shoulder and down her back, allowing the soft curls to twist around his fingers. Small tingles danced over her skin and she allowed herself a moment to relish the sensation of his fingers moving through her tresses. Amazing how she had wanted to feel his hands in her hair earlier and now, here he was, doing just that.
He paused, his fingers still twisted in her ends. She shifted slightly, aware that the movement brought her closer to him but not caring. She could just see the moon reflected off his distant eyes as he stared out over the darkened valley. His hand drifted lower down her back, but she couldn’t tell if he realized how intimately he was touching her. When he finally looked at her, his lips gave a morose smile.
“Do you ever wish things could be different?” She didn’t answer him immediately, turning her gaze to the moonlit valley. Eventually, she nodded. He began to trace small circles at the base of her spine. She knew she should make him stop, but she’d been practicing kicks that day and the rough fingers felt good on her sore knots.
“I hope you like these.” He lightly touched the cool stones that rested on her shoulder. She closed her eyes and a light smile played at her lips. “I think the girls will enjoy playing with them,” he whispered in her ear, his breath teasing.
“You said that already,” she whispered back, angling her head to better feel his breath brush across her neck. “And I love the necklace more than you could ever imagine.” She heard his light chuckle and smiled in response.
“You will be good for them,” he whispered slowly, drawing her shoulders closer to him. Soon she felt his broad chest pressed against her back, radiating an amazing heat against the chill. “Maybe the next time I go out I will pick you up some new clothes, like a dress and shoes. The girls would have fun dressing up in them.”
She no longer heard his words, just the gentle hum of his voice. His hands slid over her shoulders and down her arms. At her elbows they paused, testing. He was giving her the perfect opportunity to put an end to the intimacy, but having Cal’s hands touching her felt...right. Why stop him?
“Maybe we could get them some ribbons?” She nodded, not sure exactly what she was agreeing to. His arms slid around her waist much too confidently, but she leaned against him and accepted the arrogant move.
Her whole body burned in response to his touch; she feared it as much as she enjoyed it. For a moment she wondered if she should hide how much she yearned for him. She laid her head back on his shoulder, deciding it was better to let things play out.
His arms slipped further around her waist, pressing her securely against him. His breath moved through her hair and a quiver spread through her. He slowly began tracing circles over her stomach and she almost gasped. When his chin moved her hair, parting it, she mentally screamed at herself to stop this, but something stronger forced her to remain silent. His lips lightly grazed her temple.
“The more I think about it; maybe I should buy you another necklace. After all, we don’t want the girls fighting over this one.” He raised one hand to trace his fingers over the beads again, this time brushing her skin and making her quake in his arms. He chuckled into her hair, enjoying her reactions.
“Cal, we should stop this.” She lifted her head from his shoulder and pushed at his arm, but instead of releasing her, he spun her to face him. He held her close, one hand in the small of her back while the other brushed a lock of hair from her cheek.
“Maybe in the future I could look into other types of jewelry, bracelets maybe?” He leaned closer. “Or possibly a ring?” His lips brushed hers as he spoke and she knew she needed to stop things before they proceeded further.
“Cal?” She felt breathless and didn’t realize his name had escaped her lips until he responded.
“Yes?”
“I think...we should...stop.” She needed him to let her go so she could breathe again. She also wanted to clear her head and there was no way she could do that with him so close.
“That so?” His breath brushed over her as he spoke and she had no doubt he felt her shiver.
“That’s so,” she whispered. Her eyes closed and she pressed against him. She was a head-shift away from her first kiss. Silently she dared him to close the space, yet at the same time she begged him not to.
“Well, if you’re absolutely sure that’s what you want me to do?” It seemed like he drew her even closer, but how could that be possible?
“Cal.” His hand cupped the back of her neck, tilting her head back. “Cal.” When she said the L in his name, her tongue accidently touched his lips. He tasted so good. Dangerous.
“Yes, my love?” She felt his tongue return the favor. She was certain he purposely held the L two counts longer than he needed to. How the letter L made her squirm!
“I’m telling you, no I’m warning you.” His closeness tortured her, dared her, and frightened her immensely.
“Yes, you are, and I’m enjoying every minute of it.” He crushed her against him just as her knee began to move, trapping her legs with his. “I’m a fast learner.” He smiled triumphantly. Her lips touched his teeth.
“So I see,” she breathed. “I do have other tricks, you know.”
“Yeah? I can’t wait to learn them all.” He brushed his lips softly over hers, but still did not commit. It was killing her. Every inch of her burned with the desire to feel him.
“I have a few of my own, Love.” He nipped her bottom lip with his teeth, she heard herself groan and felt his chuckle in return. “I look forward to our next talk.” He held her, unmoving, for a moment then let her go. It took her a few seconds to realize she was no longer in his arms.