Beats of a Forbidden Heart

‎I give myself one last look in the mirror before taking a sip of my wine and leaving my room. I’m wearing a long, red champagne sleeveless and backless dress, with a high slit on the left side of my thigh. I went with a light touch of makeup, just enough to accentuate every feature of my face. Honestly, I’m already stunning, so no need for anything too heavy. Hinayaan ko na lang din na nakalugay ang wavy kong buhok na hanggang sa baywang. Pinartner-an ko rin ang suot ko ng gray stilettos. ‎ ‎Tonight is the grand opening of my art galleries. I feel so overwhelmed by all the success in my life. I didn’t make the wrong choice in following this path—even if I ended up hurting some people along the way. Even if it was my own heart that I hurt and shattered. ‎ ‎After years of hardship and perseverance, everything I worked for is finally here—right in front of me. "Ms. Ysha!" dinig kong tawag sa akin ng isang reporter. A soft smile formed on my lips at tumingin sa camera na dala ng katabi niya. "Anong masasabi mo sa mga sumuporta sa'yo ngayon sa pagbubukas nitong Art Gallery mo, Ms. Ysha?" buong ngiti nitong tanong sa akin. Huminga muna ako ng malalim at saka sinagot ang tanong. "Thank you to everyone here tonight. You are one of the reasons why the opening of my art gallery has been such a success. I hope you enjoy this evening and continue to support me on this journey. Thank you so much!” ‎ ‎Muli akong naglibot at bumati sa mga kakilala kong masaya para sa akin at sa tagumpay ko. "Congratulations, Ms. Cardel!" bati pa ng isa sa mga nag-assist sa akin kung saan ko ilalagay ang mga paintings ko. "Thank you, Maya. Mag-enjoy sana kayo. Nasaan ang mga kasamahan mo?" makulit ito at madaldal, bagay na ikinatutuwa ng mga kaibigan at kasamahan niya sa team dahil hindi boring ang paglilipat nila ng mga gamit sa tuwing may nagh-hire sa kanila. "Naroon po sa food section, Ms. Cardel. Sure pong ie-enjoy namin ang opening ng Art Gallery mo, Ms. Maraming salamat po ulit sa pagkuha sa aming team!" galak na galak siya dahil binigyan ko pa sila ng tip bukod sa ibinayad ko. ‎ ‎My speech is finally over, and now I’m busy entertaining guests who are asking about the details of my paintings—along with their prices. "Ms. Cardel, your paintings are stunning. I’m particularly drawn to Crescent behind the Clouds. It would be a perfect addition to my bedroom or our living room!" namamanngha nitong saad. Natuwa ako dahil celebrity ito na si Akinn Domelo. "Sure, Mr. Domelo! I’ll take care of this for you right away. Marami pang paintings d'yan, baka magustuhan mo rin." marahan kong ngiti. ‎ ‎"Yah, marami ngang maganda. Kasing ganda rin ng gumawa sa kanila." nakaloloko niyang sabi. Jerk. "Thank you, Mr. Domelo, maiwan na kita." tumango lamang siya habang nakangisi. Nakakainis! Balita ko ay nal-leak siya sa co-artist niyang si Bettany Romoles. Kapag ako na-issue, susuntukin ko lalamunan niya! Nagtawag na lang ako ng assistant at pinaasikaso ang painting ng napili niya. ‎ ‎In the middle of my joy and the crowd around me, it felt as if time stopped when my eyes locked onto someone I never imagined I’d see here. Damien... He stood there, beaming with pride and joy for my success—as if I hadn’t shattered his heart along the way, as if I hadn’t abandoned him in the chaos of everything we went through. ‎ ‎He’s successful now. A full-fledged CEO, the pinnacle of everything he once dreamed of—but that’s the last I heard of him. I severed every tie between us a long time ago. I forced myself to escape his world, to walk away from his arms, to leave him behind—despite all his dreams, despite all the plans he had for us. But it had to be done. He wasn’t mine to keep, and I wasn’t his to hold—no matter how violently our hearts once beat for each other. ‎ ‎Mabilis na namuo ang luha sa aking mga mata. Bago pa siya maka-hakbang papalapit, may nauna na sa kaniya. Naunahan siya ni Zed. "Babe!" nagpapa-salamat akong dumating siya. "Sorry, I'm late. The meeting just ended, and I came straight here. Are you okay? I’m sorry. Let’s go. Have you eaten yet?" sunod-sunod niyang sabi. Ngumiti ako. "Not yet, babe. Let's go. Alam kong pagod ka, salamat kasi humabol ka pa rin." Tumango siya at hinalikan ako sa labi bago marahan akong hinila para kumuha ng pagkain. ‎ ‎Bago pa ako tuluyang magpatinuod, muli kong binalingan si Damien. I can see the pain in his eyes, the struggle written all over his face. It’s as if everything he’s been enduring has been made worse by what he saw. He looks like he’s fading, weakening. Who invited him, anyway? ‎ ‎Nandito ako ngayon sa lamesa kasama si Zed habang kumakain. Ikine-kwento niya ang mga nangyari sa araw niya. I smiled and quietly listened to him. He’s been with me through it all—since we were kids, up to the messiest parts of my life. He never walked away. Hindi niya ako iniwan, kahit pa minsan ko na rin siyang nasaktan. ‎ ‎Habang nagtatawanan kami ni Zed, nahagip ng mata ko ang mesa ni Damien. And he's not alone. He's with someone. ‎ ‎Tangina. Anong tingin ang binigay niya sa akin kanina? He’s still with Carelle. A bitter taste hit my tongue. Hanggang ngayon, sila pa rin? Kahit na umalis ako, siya pa rin talaga. It was never me. Sila pa rin pala talaga ang para sa isa't-isa. ‎ What isn’t meant for you will never truly be yours in the end. Fate can hurt so deeply that it makes you believe there’s no way to rise again, no reason to keep going. But as time passes, you begin to see the truth the old ones spoke of: time heals. Healing takes time, and for me it felt like half a lifetime. Yet even now, I still wonder — have I really healed, or am I just learning how to live with the pain? I guess so. I hope so.