Meet Me In Autumn

6: Sleepless Nights

“Be safe, Sha.You still have to make sure to meet me every autumn when the leaves that turned red are falling. You have to hold my hand whenever I'm cold and cling on to me, so I'll feel warmer. I'm not letting you leave me hanging, understood? No way I'll let you live in peace away from me. I swear, even to God.”

“Then, find me anywhere. If ever I went missing, look for me,” Sharon grinned widely.

“Is that a challenge, or you are silently planning to ditch me tomorrow so I would think that something bad actually happened while you are way home?”

“You can say that,” Sharon shrugged and pulled on Katarina, resting her head on the latter's shoulder while they gently walk towards the station.

It was still too early to go home, but because of the previous happening that involves an unknown man spying on Sharon, they couldn't spend more time together. They have to prioritize some safety measures at the moment.

“Sha, were you scared back there?” Kat looked down her side, looking over her shoulder to check on the Sharon. And she was surprised to find out that the latter doesn't look any nervous at all, and she was rather... looking peaceful. It was sure that her eyes were alert, wandering for a sign of any strange movement, but she was at ease.

“Yeah, quite?”

“It's okay, I'm right beside you.”

“Yeah, that's right! I thought of that so I can keep my cool. I know you'll protect me no matter what, yeah?” Sharon asked with a smile, squeezing on Katarina's arms while she keeps her head stable above the latter's frame.

That was one of the moments Sharon feels extremely safe on the Kat's side. If only she can risk it all to stay beside her just like that, without thinking twice, she obviously would.

Kat's presence was calming, at least for her. Sharon never felt more comforted in her whole life — the level of solace Katarina brings doesn't even compare to all the moments she lies down in her room with her own scent hanging above the air and seeping through her nostrils.

Kat is magical, she is home.

“If I'll have to be busy with something important, I'll tell you beforehand so you won't be worried…” Sharon whispered out of the blue the moment she realized that they are already standing in front of the bus station.

Their walk didn't feel too lengthy, though, although it really took them way more than two hundred meters and countess steps from the intersection until the station. In addition, they are also used to the tiring sensation. They also enjoy the contentment they both fall into whenever they see a glimpse of the station when they turn at one corner.

“Kat, are you going home, too?”

“Yeah? What else would I do, right? It's not like I have someone else to meet or something else to do elsewhere?”

“Of course, you don't. You're too faithful to find another aside from me, and I'm too perfect to be dumped.”

“You're being too full of yourself just now, Oba.”

“Am I wrong?”

“Nope, never said you are,” Kat shrugged, “anyway, where do you take a cab? I'll make sure you're in before I go.”

“No, I'll do it myself, you wait for your bus.”

“No, I'll get you in the cab first.”

“No, look, there's the bus!” Sharon pointed on the speedy vehicle from afar, “you're not waiting for another thirty minutes before the next one, yeah?”

Kat just raised a white flag, surrendering, while she shakes her head in disprove upon realizing that she doesn't have any other choice but rush towards the bus stop, ride home, and let Sharon go alone to hire a cab for herself, ”Sha, just… take care, okay???”

“You've been saying that for a while now. Of course, I will. Take care, too, Kat. See you tomorrow!”

“See you, Sha! Once the leaves that turned red fall, and you're not waiting for me, I'll cast a curse during your sleep!”

“You love throwing threats!”

“Yes, especially for you!”

“You love me that much!?”

“Maybe I do, but not too much.”

••••••••••••••••••••••

Kat let out a sigh for the nth time that silent night, as she lies down her lone screaming bed. Her whole room was dim, and only the faint light coming from the moonlight escaping through her window pane illuminates the whole place. The room was nearly empty, of course, with minimal attics and a few number of furniture that contains most of her things.

She kept her eyes closed while breathing heavily, both her arms were above her face and covering its whole as if she was hiding it from a massive crowd out of shame. When in reality, it's just an empty ceiling and the thought of having the sky above her, the darkness covered with trillions of stars and the moon, and her deceased parents who were for sure watching from heaven and shaking their head upon seeing how stupid she looks solely because of a girl she is the closest with, but she actually knows ever so barely.

It was always like that, though, she'll lie down, completely drained, then stay in one position for the rest of her time — waiting for her body to collapse on its own. And when her eyes flutter open the next morning, it's still like that, empty, lonely, sad.

Only one thing is constant, the thought of a girl who always bugs her mind and never leaves for a moment, so she can think peacefully without the fear of losing the only thing that excites her and makes her go through each day. A girl who reminds her of autumn, of a certain street, and the falling leaves that turned red.

Sharon…

She knows that they have been closer as best friends at this point after their brief and unexpected meeting two years ago, but she hasn't learned her full name yet, her phone number and kakao ID, her social media accounts, or email — and Sharon hasn't asked hers, too. She knows no single solution to contact her so they can stay connected.

It worries her, especially now that they learned that Sharon has a creepy stalker, and he has been watching her moves for a while now.

“It won't hurt to ask her tomorrow, so we can stay intact, and I can check on her from time to time, right?”

She made a mental note to ask Sharon for her number the next day.

But she suddenly reckoned one memory when she asked Sharon about the same thing weeks ago…

••••••••••••••••••••••

It was a peaceful afternoon, the street was busy, and Kat's shift just finished.

Sharon, on the other hand, just came from her class and directly stopped in the road intersection near the café where Kat works in, so she can wait for the end of the latter's shift — as per usual.

She comes out after a long day in university an hour earlier than five — the time Kat goes out, and she usually uses her spare hour to start taking care of some rushed requirements in their school library before going to meet Kat, and before she goes home to finish it and comply on-time the succeeding day.

Sharon never told Kat about any of her schedules, though, even if it is usually hectic, and she was actually fully booked most of the time. She knew that their little meetings — although short and only happens in autumn, is one of the factors to the building pressure, especially when it overlaps with midterms and finals. But since those nonsense meetings that only consists of walking down that street, sitting down a corner, telling boring stories, not minding if they both fall asleep on the ground out of tiredness and drowsiness as long as they are together, and bidding sweet goodbyes at the bus station — nonsense, but with Kat's presence that makes those times extra special. Knowing it also serves as her modified rest after an exhausting day full of studying a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration degree that she doesn't even want to pursue, she's doing her best to meet Kat and be with her even for a calculated short time.

She only blasted a short giggle when Kat asked her name out of the blue. She found if hilarious, cute. It was funny how Kat scratched her not-so-itchy nape while looking down the ground like a shy and blushing gal asking for a stranger's number because she found her majestic after they accidentally bumped at each other.

“Kat, you've known me. I'm Sharon. Are you having a dementia or something?”

“Yes… I know that you are Sharon, silly,” Kat replied in a matter-of-fact tone, pushing on Sharon's shoulder playfully,”but… you know… how do I say this… uh–”

“Go straight to the point, I'll listen to whatever you want to say. Go on,” Sharon gave her an encouraging smile to push her to continue speaking, so her hesitations would find its way out of the conversation.

And Katarina got the obvious signal in no time. She lifted her face after a while, then asked again, “it's… actually nothing important, but… Sharon, may I know your surname?”

“For research purposes?” Sharon giggled once more, but it didn't do the favor to make Kat loosen her uptight posture. Was she… nervous for simply asking that thing? Sharon couldn't answer her question. And when Kat halted in her spot, Sharon cleared her throat and added, ”I thought you previously stopped going to college so you can save enough money for your tuition fee before you start schooling again?”

“It's for the development of science, Sha,” Kat rolled her eyes after throwing a nagging reply to Sharon's also nagging question, “aish, of course, I… need it so we can get to know each other better, so I can add your accounts to my list and message you whenever it's not autumn, and we don't meet? You know… keep the fire alive, and communicate in long distance — a thing we never did since that night two years ago.”

“The fire is not dying anytime soon even with this kind of set-up, though, was it?”

“Yes… it's absolutely not! But–”

“If I give you my family name and my accounts, you have to be a part of my life forever. You choose if you want to sign the promise.”

“You're making this a huge deal, you know? Come on, Sha, it's just your surname, so I can find you if ever you ditch me one day?”

“Ah, so, you don't trust me enough to think I'll ever disappear without telling you? Kat, don't go breaking my heart,”

“No, no–”

“Don't worry, I understand what you are trying to point out. But, Kat, let's… keep it like this for convenience,” she averted Kat's gaze, ”plus, hey, I am never leaving anytime soon! Why did you even think of that possibility?”

“You are so weird.”

“No, you are,” Sharon opposed, “you could have told me your name that night when I asked, and maybe I'll tell you mine, too.”

“Weren't you the first one to decide not to say yours?”

“No, it's you. You insisted to only exchange first names because according to you, Katarina the great, it'll be much comfortable if we stay as strangers who barely know each other.”

“Oh, so, I was the one to get us into this set-up…”

“You said we'll be more comfortable in sharing our problems because you can't see through my background, and I can't see through yours. There will be no biased judgements, just fair ones. No considerations and sugarcoated words. There's going to be no further lies but honesty. Although we are already aware of little background information... something like you were an orphan and you only live by being a part-timer, something like my family owns a company that's why I am studying business administration. If we learn more, each might hesitate to mention our struggles...”

“But it's cool, right?” Kat's lips tug upwards, although unknown go herself, “this game is so childish and unreasonable... but, thank you, stranger.”

“Yeah, likewise. You can now blame yourself, loser.”

••••••••••••••••••••••

Sharon is relentless, she thought.

“That won't do,” she whispered, sighing.

It was yet another sleepless night, and she only found herself in dreamland right after seeing the sunrise.

When the morning came, she lazily got up her bed that seems still pulling her down to take a short nap. She shot up her gaze to the side table, looking at the useless alarm clock that didn't even do its job on waking her up earlier that day. 10:49 AM, it points.

“f**k it, I have to go now. Move, body, move,” she scolded herself and grabbed on her hair tightly, knocking the sense out of her still drowsy mind.

She was drained and sleepy, and without looking in a mirror, she is sure that two black circles were now visible under her eyes — making her look like either a panda or a walking dead. She felt herself falling down back on the mattress, and she bit her dried and chapped lips in annoyance. If only she has slept a bit early, this won't happen. Dumb dumb.

It'll take her half an hour to arrive at the café, and it's not even a fixed time to consider because the bus might take a little longer. It won't be great to be late at work, even if she was certain that manager Sally wouldn't — as usual — be there too early to check if they actually enter their shifts on time, she still feels it's not a right thing to do, especially when she is receiving her fair share of hourly salary without penalties for little damages whenever she unlikely spills a cup or two in a span of one month.

“Get up, get up, you prefer not to tell Sharon that you woke up late and also went late to work because you kept on thinking about her the whole night, yes? Get up, sleepy head.”

Sharon is indeed relentless…