Chapter 2
584 Words
Chan's PoV
Time to go to school. God, I hate school. "Hey, man!" Minho waves at me. I return the wave and smile and make sure to smile at Jisung and Lalisa. Once 5th period gets out, instead of going to the cafeteria, I go up to the roof and pull out my vape pen. Yes, I'm addicted to nicotine. I haven't eaten in the cafeteria in 3 years, since the start of my eating disorder.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~After School at the Gym~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Chan! Good to see you! Run for 15 at speed 5, then 200 jumping jacks." My trainer smiles, then starts to set up cones and weights. After my run, I'm breathing heavily and am already nauseous. I start the jumping jacks and I already feel like passing out. I take deep breaths and focus on losing one more pound. "197,198,199,200! Good job! Have some water, then start your circuit. 20 pushups, 30 situps, 40 walking lunges, and 50 squats. Do that 5 times, then pull-ups till exhaustion. Stretch, replenish, then you're done." My trainer hands me my water bottle and pats my back. I start the circuit, ignoring the nausea and pain, and focusing on how much more attractive I'll be when I lose more weight. My arms shake before I've even started the pull-ups, but I block it out and do as many as I can-12. Really, Chan? Why can't you do better? My eating disorder scolds. I try to lower myself slowly, but I fall down. The fall doesn't hurt, but my ego does.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~At Home~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I shower, put on clean clothes, and weigh myself. 130 lbs. Yes! On Saturday I was 133, and now I can eat. I go downstairs to see what Mom is making for dinner. Salad, teriyaki chicken, and white rice. Perfect. "Hi, Eomma," I hug her. "Hi, honey, how was the gym?" I smile fakely to hide the pain. "It was good, I feel great," she frowns. "Chan, honey, what's wrong? You go to the gym every day for 3 hours, barely eat, and are constantly sleepy. Are you anorexic, sweetie?" s**t! She knows! I shake my head. "N-no, I'm not anorexic. I'm just struggling with body image a little. I'm fine, I promise. You know I tell you everything," I kiss her cheek and go to set the table.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hwang Hyunjin's PoV ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Honey, it's bedtime. Please put your phone away and turn off your light, my mom says smiling, standing in the doorway. "Goodnight, Mom," I plug in my phone and turn off my lamp. "I love you, Hyunjinnie," I hate you. "I love you too, Mom. 'Night," She smiles and closes the door. I wait till I know my parents are asleep, then take my vape pen out of my closet and sneak out to the park to hit it. I inhale the mint-flavored smoke, letting it fill my lungs before exhaling it. I take a few more hits, then go back home to go to bed. Tomorrow's Saturday, so I can sleep in a little before I start my chore list.
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