Three Meters Of Desire

"Miss Carter, this is unacceptable." Professor Grant throws my thesis chapter across his desk like it's trash. Three months of work scattered in front of me, covered in red ink, he basically underlined every single word I wrote. I sit in this leather chair that probably costs more than my rent. My worn jeans stick out like a sore thumb next to all his fancy books and awards. "I don't understand," I say quietly. "I followed all the guidelines. " "Guidelines?" He cuts me off with a laugh. "Miss Carter, this lacks any depth whatsoever. It's surface-level analysis at best." My cheeks burn. There are other students waiting outside his office. Can they hear this? "Perhaps you should reconsider whether graduate school is right for someone of your... background." He takes off his glasses and stares at me. "Not everyone belongs at Princeton." The words hit me like a slap. Someone of my background. The scholarship girl. The one who doesn't fit. "I can revise it," I whisper. "I'm afraid revision won't fix fundamental inadequacy." He slides the papers toward me. "You may go." I grab my destroyed work and run. Past the other students with their designer bags and confident smiles. Past the portraits of dead white men who probably never questioned if they belonged. By the time I reach my car, tears are streaming down my face. I sit in my beat-up Honda and want to scream. Three months. Three months of staying up until dawn, living on noodles and coffee, missing social events because I couldn't afford them anyway. All for nothing. My phone buzzes. A text from Alex. Can't wait for date night tonight baby. I have something special planned ❤️ My heart lifts a little. Alex. My fiancé, who loves me despite everything. Tonight we're supposed to go to that new Italian place he picked out. He'll hold my hand and tell me Professor Grant is wrong. He'll remind me why I'm strong enough to be here. I wipe my eyes and drive home. Twenty minutes to get myself together. Twenty minutes to stop looking like a failure. Our apartment building is nice. Too nice for me, really, but Alex insisted we get a place that "reflects our future together." His BMW sparkles in the parking spot next to mine. I climbed the stairs, my rejection letter crumpled in my bag. The hallway is quiet. Maybe Alex is getting ready for tonight too. "Babe?" I call as I unlock our door. "Baby, I'm home!" Silence. I drop my bag and listen. Maybe he's in the shower. Or taking a nap before dinner. Then I hear it. Moaning. From our bedroom. My blood turns to ice. No. This isn't happening. This cannot happen. I walk down the hallway like I'm in a dream. The bedroom door is cracked open. And through that tiny gap, I see everything. Alex. My Alex. In our bed with a blonde woman I recognized from his gym. "God, you're so much better than her,"he said as he groaned. "I can't believe you stayed with that scholarship girl for so long," she pants. Alex laughs. But it's not his normal laugh. It's cruel and cold. "Elena's convenient. She's so desperate to prove she belongs here, it's pathetic. Always studying, never any fun." I can't breathe. Three years. Over three years of loving this man. "Does she know about your family's money?" the woman asks. "She pretends she doesn't need my help. Too proud to admit she needs me." His voice gets harder. "Honestly, I'm getting tired of playing supportive boyfriend to someone who'll never be more than a small-town girl with big dreams." Small-town girl. Just like Professor Grant said. Someone who doesn't belong. The bedroom door creaks as I step back. They both freeze. Alex turns his head. Our eyes meet through the gap. His face goes completely white. "Elena!" He scrambles for the sheet. "This isn't what it looks like!" "Don't." The word comes out stronger than I feel. "Just don't." I turn and run. "Elena, wait!" Alex is shouting behind me. "Let me explain!" I grab my bag and keys. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely hold them. "It didn't mean anything!" he yells. But it did. It meant everything. I drive without thinking. The streets blur together through my tears. I can't see. I can't think. I can barely breathe. I pulled over at a gas station and finally let myself fall apart. My thesis is garbage. My fiancé is cheating on me with someone who thinks I'm pathetic. And I'm homeless now because there's no way I'm going back to that apartment. My phone won't stop buzzing. Baby, please come back We can work this out I love you Don't throw away three years I want to throw my phone into traffic. Instead, I scroll to a different contact. "Sophie?" My voice cracks. "I need help." Thirty minutes later, I'm on Sophie's couch with a box of tissues and a mug of hot chocolate I can't drink. Sophie is pacing around her living room like a caged tiger. She's wearing one of those outfits that probably costs more than my car, but right now she looks ready to commit murder. "That absolute piece of human garbage!" She throws a pillow at the wall. "I should have known he was trash!" I pull her blanket tighter around me. Everything smells like her expensive perfume and fabric softener. So different from the cheap detergent I use. "I was so stupid, Soph." "No." She stops pacing and kneels next to the couch. "You loved someone who didn't deserve you. That doesn't make you stupid." My phone buzzes again. More texts from Alex. You know I love you She means nothing Come home so we can talk "What am I going to do?" I whispered. "I can't go back there. I can barely afford to live on my own. And my professor thinks I'm a complete fraud." Sophie gets that look in her eyes. The dangerous one. "First of all, you're staying here as long as you need to." She takes my hands. "Second, Professor Grant is a sexist old dinosaur who gets off on destroying students' confidence. And third?" She smiles, but it's not a nice smile. "Alex Sunry is about to learn what happens when someone messes with my best friend." I want to believe her. I want to believe that everything will be okay. But right now, I feel like my whole world just exploded. "I loved him, Sophie." The words come out broken. "I really loved him." "I know." She squeezes my hands. "And you deserve someone who loves you back the same way. Not someone who calls you pathetic behind your back." My phone buzzes again. This time it's a call. Alex's name flashes on the screen. "Don't answer it," Sophie says quickly. But I can't help myself. I want to hear what excuse he's going to give me. "Elena, thank God." He sounded like he was panicking. "Where are you? We need to talk." "There's nothing to talk about," I say. "Yes, there is! What you saw... it was a mistake. A stupid, meaningless mistake." "How long?" I ask. "What?" "How long have you been sleeping with her?" Silence. "Elena..." "How long, Alex?" "Two months," he whispers. "But it doesn't mean anything. I swear to God, it doesn't mean anything." Two months. While I was killing myself trying to get my thesis approved. While I was planning our wedding. While I was working three jobs to pay for half our rent because I didn't want to be a burden. "We're done," I say. "Elena, no. Please. Don't throw away three years over one mistake." "One mistake?" I laugh, but there's no humor in it. "You've been screwing her up for two months. You called me pathetic. You said I don't belong anywhere." "I didn't mean it!" "Yes, you did." My voice gets stronger. "And you know what? You're right. I don't belong in your world. I never did." I hung up and turn off my phone. Sophie is watching me with proud eyes. "Feel better?" she asks. "No," I admit. "But I will." That night, I lay in Sophie's guest bedroom staring at the ceiling. This morning I thought I had a future. A fiancé who loved me. A thesis that might actually get approved. Now I have nothing.