The Adulteress Queen

Chapter 12

The following week was calm and tranquil between me and Sebastian, and throughout the kingdom, it seemed. Rebekah and Yamcha went away together after their wedding, just as Faustos and Lord Bardock had done. Without Faustos around, I found myself focusing intently on my educational reform, because I was uncomfortable with the idea of getting too close to Sebastian. I could live with the one night we were together, but to continue repeating it in Faustos's absence; it was still too soon for me. Which was good, because it seemed that Sebastian felt the same way. He did not attempt to be anything more than cordial with me after the night of Rebekah's wedding. At the end of that week, I was furious to learn from Korin that Maester Shu, the man I welcomed into my kingdom, into my program, and paid exceptionally well to teach the children, was taking advantage of his position and abusing those children. I immediately had Maester Shu thrown into the dungeons upon receiving that news, and had the children and parents questioned later.

The entire month following that, I was deeply involved in dealings with that controversy, a matter with which Sebastian refused to lend any hand in assisting. I was left to my own devices in dealing with the delicate matter. I personally worked tirelessly to clear the reputation of my program. I was stressed and exhausted during that time, and found my energy waning. I woke with my stomach churning some mornings, and after one particularly disturbing account from a parent of one of Maester Shu's abuse victims, I was compelled to run to the washroom and vomit.

At the end of that month, I was visited by a maester at Sebastian's command as he noticed my consistent paleness and exhaustion. The maester ordered me to rest and forfeit my affairs to someone else's hands until I was well again. Fortunately, by that time the scandal had been mostly corrected, and Lady Gine generously offered to continue overseeing the replacement educator and visit the school for me on occasion. I would make sure Shu paid dearly for harming those innocent children and marring the reputation of my program. As far as I was concerned, he was never leaving that dungeon alive.

Once the situation with the school settled, I expected to return to full health and resume my prior activities, but that was not the case. Instead, I continued feeling ill, despite my good spirits and lessened stress. Assuming I would feel better soon on my own, I kept my ill feelings to myself for a while. The only person close enough to me to notice my condition was Launch, who I ordered not to tell anyone. Eventually, she persuaded me to see the maester again. I could not help being concerned at that point. I had not felt well for almost a month, and I warily submitted to another examination by the maester. He asked more questions that time. One of the maester's questions prompted a strong reaction in me, as it was something I never considered being related to my illness. Though, with that one question, it instantly became clear.

He sat writing notes before me, appearing to puzzle over my symptoms while I knew there was no cause for such action. The problem was solved, and I was not ill. I realized I was enduring the symptoms of early pregnancy. How could I have not realized the correlation between exhaustion, sickness in the mornings and the lack of menstruation? With all the recent stress and worry, I had completely forgotten to keep track of that occurrence, and wondered how many months I might have missed. I suppose I became complacent in thinking I would never have to worry about that moment.

Now I was worried. A rush of thoughts and fears hit me as my realization set, while the maester was still musing to himself. I abruptly dismissed him before ending the examination. As the alarmed maester departed my chambers unquestioningly, I immediately suspected that my pregnancy would be a dangerous situation. I turned to Launch without hesitation as she stood beside the window with a daydreaming expression on her face. I set a stern gaze on my handmaiden, who clasped her hands together and seemed to feel my eyes on her as she suddenly snapped from her daydream and turned her head to face me, her dark blue curls swinging behind her shoulders with the abrupt turn. With her gaze on me, I approached the drawing table in my chambers, sitting and grabbing a quill hastily as I spoke.

"Launch, send a raven to my father. I will need him to send his maester and midwives from the Starsands Kingdom." It was not that I distrusted the abilities of other maesters or midwives from the Harrenhal Kingdom; it was their discretion I distrusted. And discretion could be required with this pregnancy. I began scribbling the note, requesting discretion from my father as well as haste.

I knew my father deeply trusted his maester, a man I had little use for as a healthy child and teen while I lived in Mont Fraipan as a princess. Yet, what I did remember of the older man, was that he was kind-spoken and seemed wise, something I felt would serve me well as I anxiously decided to put my trust in him. Launch gasped in surprise at my request, and I knew she was shocked to learn the truth. There was only one reason to request midwives, after all.

"Go, Launch. And keep this between us for now." I ordered sternly as I finished writing the request for my father and sealed it, handing it to Launch. She gaped at me, confused by my insistence and secrecy. I nodded sternly to her to confirm that she should follow my instructions quickly.

"Yes, your Grace." She said as she hastily left to do as I bid. I sighed heavily and sat in the chair by the drawing table for a while alone in my chambers, as I attempted to come to grips with the reality of my pregnancy, not realizing someone had entered through my door as Launch left.

"Katarina. What did the maester say, dear?" I turned my head slowly, seeing the curious face of Kenya before me. I frowned at her before turning back to facing the window. I froze. I couldn't let her know now. I hardly realized the enormity of what was happening, myself.

"He is puzzled." I lied; though if she asked the maester, I did not believe the man ever did come to the same conclusion as me. "I sent a raven to the Starsands Kingdom. I want my own maester treating me." I supplied, that being the absolute truth, though my reasons I would never reveal to her. I turned to face the queen mother again, who was now taking a seat at the chaise in front of me.

"You must have some condition to be sending for someone from your father's kingdom to come all this way." The queen mother said as she observed me keenly. "You know, the maester my family sees here is excellent. He does remarkable work." Kenya defended. I just knew she would push for that. But I could avoid that argument; the letter had already been sent, and knowing my father, the attendants I asked for would be leaving immediately.

"I am sure he does excellent work. But I want someone familiar; it will be more comfortable for me." I explained. Kenya's mouth dropped and her eyes brightened as I realized with disappointment that she suspected what I already knew.

"You think you may finally be with child?" Sebastian's mother asked, oblivious to the offensiveness of her question. I scoffed rudely back at her, not willing to answer that question, and wishing she had not assumed the truth so quickly. "We shall see." She said curtly with a smirk across her face, standing from the chaise and hovering over me for a moment.

"Yes, we shall see." I answered quietly as Sebastian's mother left my chamber. I huffed a deep sigh of relief as I heard the door close behind her. Then I immediately began to panic. There was a good chance that the baby was Sebastian's. After all, I did not experience any symptoms until after I slept with him. But there was also a good chance that I was already pregnant before he even touched me. What if I was farther along than I should be for the baby to possibly be Sebastian's? If that was the case, and he or Kenya discovered the truth, my baby and I could be doomed. I tried to calm my breathing, as I noticed that familiar faint feeling encroaching on me that I often experienced in times of shock or stress. I needed to breathe, and I needed to think clearly. There was plenty of time. Yes, I had plenty of time, I reminded myself with a deep sigh.

The travel of my maester would buy me time, which I would use to my advantage, to prepare for the possibility of the baby not being Sebastian's. It was not likely that I could hide the pregnancy from Kenya for long. It would definitely be impossible when the baby would begin to grow, causing me to do the same. I could not allow my baby to be harmed, or face a life he or she did not deserve because of my decisions, if Sebastian were to discover my affair. In case the baby was Faustos's, I needed to plan something. Since hiding the baby's existence was not an option, that left me with running away or...

I sighed deeply as I seriously considered a third option. In case the baby was not Sebastian's, I needed to conceive all my necessary lies without weaving a tangled web in which I would be caught. I intended no such occurrence, for me or my unborn child. I had some thinking to do. A few days later, I woke to a giddy Launch, running into my chambers with her long blue hair and the thin fabric of her maiden's gown flowing behind her.

"Queen Katarina, we have received word from his Grace, King Starsands! Your attendants are on their way to you and are prepared to stay as long as you may require. He also insists that you inform him of your condition as soon as they diagnose you. He hopes you feel well soon, your Grace." Launch informed me proudly, and I realized she read the correspondence herself. I was very proud of her, but disappointed that she did not ask permission.

"Was the letter not addressed to me, Launch?" I asked reprehensibly as I sat up in bed and glowered at my handmaiden. Launch shook her head in denial with a genuine smile. "He addressed the letter to you?" I asked, not hiding my surprise in the least. Launch laughed.

"Yes, your Grace. I think he did it because when he came for your wedding, I told him how you were teaching me to read your letters for you." Launch smiled brightly. "He is such a kind king, your father."

"Yes, he is." I said, feeling comforting warmth inside at just thinking of my father. "Perhaps we will be seeing him again soon, Launch." I suggested, knowing once my father was informed of my child's birth, he would make any plans necessary to meet his grandchild. The situation was quickly becoming just as exciting as it was troublesome. I always wanted to be a mother, and despite the difficulties surrounding my situation, I could not help smiling with anticipation of having a baby of my own.

The mystery of the baby was pleasant, but the baby's true parentage could be a very harmful secret. If the baby was Faustos's and it was ever exposed, Faustos, the baby and I could all be executed. Knowing Sebastian's temper, that was more than a mere possibility. For the time being, I could not fear for that; I could only take precautions. There was a chance that the baby truly was Sebastian's. I would discover the truth once I met with my father's maester.

Two weeks later, my special guests arrived at the palace, though I was disappointed to see only one midwife with the maester. They were given time to settle in, and met with me the following day. I explained my situation to the pair quietly, looking upon them with a stern gaze in the maester's chamber, which would be his new home while they remained in the Harrenhal Kingdom, the midwife taking the chamber beside it.

"I would entrust you to keep your findings to yourselves, if the situation warrants it." I advised the elderly maester and young midwife as we sat in a private room and began the discreet meeting. They were loyal subjects of the Starsands Kingdom, the reason I sent for them. He was mostly as I remembered him; a wiry old man with a white beard, bald head, a bad cough, and a lecherous eye for his young companion. That last quality I did not remember, though I supposed, being a child at the time, I would not have noticed such things. The midwife was a typical brown-eyed girl with long red hair, around my age. I hoped the maester's age did not detract him from working at his best ability. Judging by what I could see of his face and hands, the only parts of him not covered by his long brown maester's robes and chains, he appeared much too old to be delivering babies.

His appearance certainly did not win over my mother-in-law, who eyed me scoldingly upon his arrival the day before. I knew she was thinking that her maester would do better. The old man nodded slowly at my warning of secrecy in understanding, while the woman smiled and slightly lifted her long, simple brown linen dress to curtsy in polite agreement.

"Yes, your Grace. I would never do anything to hurt King Starsands's daughter. You have my word." The maester promised, following with a slight raspy chuckle as he sorted through his bag of tools and gadgets. I could not imagine what he needed those for, yet his words were reassuring.

"Thank you, Maester Roshi. And why do you only bring one midwife? I believe I requested midwives." I responded scoldingly. The maester glanced at the girl with a knowing smirk before returning to his work as he spoke.

"You do know, midwives love to gossip, your Grace." Maester Roshi said as he glanced at me with a meaningful look. Certainly, that would have caused problems. "Suno is quiet and attentive. A bit of a shy girl. But she is an excellent midwife, and the only one I could deem trustworthy when your letter demanded discretion." I suspiciously studied the tight-lipped girl who stood aside docilely with her hands clasped behind her back, blushing at the praise and my scrutiny. Maester Roshi looked towards me for a response, then followed my gaze and smiled as he returned to his work.

"Suno will do no harm, your Grace. Rest assured." Maester Roshi promised on her behalf. His promise was believable, yet amazingly, Suno had not spoken one word since our meeting began.

"Has the girl lost her tongue?" I questioned, half-amused, half genuinely curious over her silence as she met my eyes in surprise at my remark.

"No, your Grace." She responded politely, her big brown eyes meeting mine with an innocence I had not seen from anyone in quite a while.

"Suno is the best midwife in the Starsands Kingdom, for someone so young." Maester Roshi smiled at Suno, his eyes drinking in her body under the light fabric of her gown for a little too long for my comfort, and the girl's blush brightened vividly.

"Maester Roshi." I growled scoldingly, drawing the man back to his work. I questioned whether I really wanted that man looking between my legs. But who else could I turn to? I had to know if Sebastian was the father. And I could not have Kenya's maesters informing her or Sebastian that it was otherwise. I reminded myself that Maester Roshi was highly regarded by my father, and seemed to have a reciprocal regard for my father as well. I would have to accept that connection and my own instincts as reason enough to trust him.

It was good that Suno was so quiet and shy. I should have been able to trust her as well, yet I decided to pay her a little extra to ensure her silence. I hoped Suno was as experienced and competent as Maester Roshi promised. I was worried already about childbirth, without having to question the competence of my caretakers. I knew that complications during the birthing process were a common cause of death for young women. Maester Roshi cleared his throat as he turned to me with a serious expression.

"Your Grace. When do you expect to have conceived this baby with the King?" Maester Roshi asked me as Suno went to a desk near the far wall with a quill and prepared to write. I blushed slightly, uncomfortable revealing such personal details with two complete strangers.

"Well…there were only two occasions. One was much too long ago to be possible. The other was a little over two months ago." I explained quietly, unable to meet the maester's eyes as I spoke.

"Only two occasions!" Maester Roshi exclaimed in disbelief, startling me in my seat. "What is wrong with your king?" Maester Roshi questioned as he eyed me much like he had eyed Suno earlier. I glared with rage at his lecherous eyes as I instinctively drew my hand back and slapped him harshly across the face before I even realized what I was doing. "I-I'm sorry, your Grace. Please forgive me!" Maester Roshi apologized with deep regret as he bowed before me with his head held low. I fumed for a few minutes, glaring towards the top of his bald head, silently allowing him to stew in my anger before allowing him to rise.

"Do not forget that I could have you placed in the dungeons for upsetting me, Maester Roshi!" I threatened haughtily as Maester Roshi slowly rose with a slight smile.

"Yes, your Grace. But please do not forget, I am the only maester you can trust with this baby." He responded in a respectful and docile tone. In spite of his tone, his words only angered me more. "I only remind you for your sake, your Grace!" He exclaimed hurriedly in response to my angered expression. "Please, tell me when you began feeling symptoms and how you feel now, and we will begin to determine how far along you are." I took a deep, calming breath, and sat as I realized Maester Roshi was right, and explained to him all the symptoms I had been feeling, as well as my current condition.

By the end of the examination, I was ecstatic. I was miserable. I was relieved. I was sick with worry! I wondered how much of those conflicting emotions were hormonally caused, and how much of it was reasonable, given my current situation. Based on my measurements, symptoms, and last time I bled, I was certainly pregnant, and it was impossible to have conceived the baby on the night of Rebekah's wedding. I was too far along in the pregnancy already. Faustos was definitely the father. It was time to prepare for the option I'd been planning for since discovering my pregnancy, the only possibility I found acceptable, though it would not be easily done. If Sebastian knew that his wife was carrying Lord Bane's child, I would fear his wrath, for myself, Faustos, and my unborn child.

At my insistence, Maester Roshi changed his notations to conceal my indiscretions, altering my due date enough to coincide with timing that fit with the date Sebastian and I would have conceived. It had to be that way, if I was to convince Sebastian that the baby was his. Not that he'd need convincing. I was sure he had no suspicions of my affair, and the timing of my symptoms did make sense for our bout to fit the timing of conception. It would only later appear to him that I would have early labor, when in fact, I would be having the baby just when it was due to arrive. I needed the support on paper, because I suspected Kenya would check into the details, and I would leave no chances of my secret being exposed. I already felt I would do anything for my child.

I told Sebastian about the pregnancy, shortly after my discovery from the maester. I thoroughly enjoyed denying Kenya an answer to the source of my illness as I delivered the news directly to him, the satisfaction of that making it easy for me to mask the emotional turmoil I felt at lying to Sebastian about the baby. Sebastian accepted the news that the baby was his, and seemed content to be expecting an heir to his throne. If only it was a boy. I suspected it was, though. It was just a feeling.

I actually caught Sebastian smiling at me occasionally as we passed in the halls, and while we dined together. It was not truly me he smiled at, though. It was a proud smile he wore, not a loving one. He looked at me as if he had 'conquered' me by impregnating me. Maybe there was something different about me that he saw while I carried his child. Either way, I knew he did not smile for me. I did not care. I smiled often as well, for my child. I had always wanted to be a mother. I never could have imagined the way it was happening, but I was incredibly excited to meet my baby, especially as I entered the second trimester and my energy returned and the morning sickness abated.

The greatest internal dilemma I had as the birth neared was what to do about Faustos. It had been four months since he and his father disappeared. It was still possible that my earlier suspicions of abandonment were true. I didn't care any longer why he left, but only hoped he would return. If he returned soon, what then? I could not imagine our child growing in front of him with him not knowing the baby was his. But what would happen when I told him? Could Faustos stand by and watch his king raise his child, having no say in his own blood's upbringing or future? I could not possibly run away with him to raise the child together, and I hoped he would realize that, if I told him. I was terribly worried, because there were so many possibilities to the outcome of telling him. The one thing that eased my fear was that I knew Faustos. He was kind, and easygoing, and…pretty irresponsible. I could not imagine anyone with a better disposition to step aside and allow me to raise the child for him with Sebastian's family name and all the advantages and good fortune of being raised as a prince or princess.

As I entered the final trimester of pregnancy, I was becoming limited on my comings and goings. I decided to take one last excursion away from the castle to discuss with Lady Gine the progress of the educational program's return to its prior status. I would not be leaving Harrenhal Castle again until my baby was born. I arrived at Montpaus and stepped clumsily from my carriage with Tien's assistance, working around the awkwardness of my growing midsection, when I was distracted by movement from a window of the castle. I shielded my eyes from the sun as I gazed up into the window on the upper level of the house, where I noticed some movement. There was a figure standing in it. I squinted for a better view, and gasped when I recognized the silhouette I saw as either Lord Bardock or Faustos. The figure waved widely and slowly at me through the window, which I was certain Lord Bardock would never do. My heart thrummed in my chest with anticipation. Faustos had returned.