The Crush Plan

12

I never quite understood why people were so hyper about the holiday seasons. Was it because school would be closed? Or because they were genuinely looking forward to celebrating the particular holiday? Candice would call me an atheist every time I'd express my apathy in celebrating Thanksgiving, Halloween, or even Christmas, for that matter. However, I never considered myself one, since in my mind, I was a firm believer in God. I didn't visit churches, or do anything religious, but that didn't show I was an atheist. To me, at least, it didn't.

"Autumn?! Are you listening?!" Candice practically clamored through the other end.

I cleared my dry throat as I looked down the balusters. "Yeah, sorry if it sounded like I wasn't."

She waved it off like she didn't mind. "Anyway, so what are your plans for tonight?"

"What's tonight?"

Candice shrilled in horror. "You surely haven't forgotten Thanksgiving, Autumn!"

I tittered in response. "Right. No, of course not. Just zoned out, sorry."

"Not your fault," she sighed. "Why am I even discussing what you're not interested in? Not like you've got holiday spirits. Never mind, Autumn, just do whatever you're doing... I'll see you tomorrow."

To my surprise, I didn't even bother to protest before she hung up. Because it was true. I didn't have holiday spirits; she was wasting time trying to get me some.

The streets below me were turbulent; filled with tumultuous shrills reverberating, high-pitched groans and laughs ringing about in the air. Normally, this street would be vacant, not a soul around. However, with Thanksgiving coming up, someone decided to create a foundation that sold out holiday resources for cheap prices. Ergo, the bountiful of markets and stalls implemented around my once quiet neighborhood.

Noise was deafening for me—always was, shall remain. This holiday evening -- with Mom out of town with Dylan to celebrate this precious day— was planning on curling up in my bed, and reading Left To Tell by Immaculee Ilibagiza. A book about how one moment can flip someone's life upside down, and why we should always appreciate what we have. I was halfway through the book, and had a couple more chapters until I'd finish it. Anyhow, it didn't seem like I could rivet into reading with so much noise.

I discovered my feet trotting back to my room, unaware of what I should be doing to distract myself from the loneliness dawning on me this pleasant evening. Just as I decided to crash on my bed, my phone—which was placed on my computer's desk—rang so loudly I jumped in fright. I groaned in irritation, crossing over to the other side of my room, and noticing the call was from the boy who never failed to surprise me, Caden.

"Not a good time, but hi," I greeted him, trying to sound unfazed by his call, but I knew I was failing pitifully.

His laughter rang through the other side. "You're in a good mood this holiday evening."

I rolled my eyes, genuinely this time. "Don't ask."

"Wasn't going to," Caden countered ever-so-casually. "So, any plans tonight?"

I huffed, disturbance flooding off of me. "Ugh, why is everyone asking that?"

His voice faltered like I'd asked him to shoot me. "Autumn... It—it's Thanksgiving," Caden stammered, making me scoff.

"Well, pardon me if I sound abnormal, but unlike most other people, I have nothing to be thankful for. So, I'd appreciate if everyone didn't rub it into my face heartlessly, and if it's that hard to remain unperturbed by my disinterest then, you're all free to ignore me. Goodbye," I blasted at him, hanging up without a heartbeat.

It was when I let out a waft of respiration that my outburst fully sank into my perception. I had just had an outburst on Caden O'Connor.

I had just had an outburst on Caden O'Connor!

My hands automatically scraped through my chocolate brown locks, scowling at myself in sheer agitation. How could I possibly be so stupid? I questioned myself. For over a month, now, I'd been working diligently to get on Caden's good side, and I probably—for perhaps the first time in my life—was succeeding. However, I'd just ruined everything. He probably thought I was a crude, neurotic, bipolar, little—

Ding!

The doorbell snapped me out of my stupor. My eyebrows responsively raised in confusion as to who could possibly pay a visit on this day usually spent with people one was thankful for, or cared about. Mom and Dad? They were with their respective significant others, relishing in the joy of family, while I was clearly absent. They wouldn't bother to come see me, so who was it? Realizing that the only way to see was to go down and open the door, I regathered my thoughts, and composedly traveled down to the main gate. If the doorbell hadn't surprised me enough, seeing who it was did.

"Caden?" I stuttered, gaping at him with scrutinizing eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He appeared nonchalant although his hands possessed plentiful of plastic bags, staring into my eyes in concern. "It's Thanksgiving, Autumn. You didn't think I wouldn't see you this special day, did you?"

I opened the door wider, allowing him the space to enter. Per usual, Caden headed straight to the kitchen, and propped the bags on the counter. While I casually leaned against it, he began to unravel the boxes inside. I watched in curiosity, and found myself baffled when he grabbed a plate and set down a big turkey upon it. My eyes shot into his eyes in shock, but he simply shrugged.

"Why?" was all I asked.

Caden chuckled in amusement. "Apart from my family and Alfonso, one of my only other friends is you. Most others are mere acquaintances. So, I figured, why don't I carve the turkey with you, since I do it with my family and other friends almost every year? Of course, I did eat lunch with them. And the ones who're not in town, I ensured to send them cards. It's only fair, you know?"

I tried to sputter out words—something, anything—but it just wasn't probable for me. Not with the view of Caden O'Connor, my crush and the ultimate love of my life, with a plate of turkey in front of him, claiming he wanted to carve it with me as he was thankful for me, as well.

"What, never carved a turkey?" he questioned, trying to tease me.

I simply shook my head. "Not since years."

Caden's eyebrows furrowed, "how come?"

"Ever since Dad left," I explained, "Mom never spent the holidays with me. At first, she tried to avoid the absence of Dad by trying to stay grounded in her room all throughout the day. But when she came across Dylan, she did celebrate the holidays... Just not with me."

His eyes screeched out loud his nonplussed demeanor. "You mean, you haven't celebrated the holidays in four years?"

I mildly nodded, confirming his uncertainty.

"Autumn—"

I laughed halfheartedly, cutting him off on purpose. "Enough with the sad stuff. Let's carve the turkey, shall we?"

As I poked on the remaining pieces of meat on my plate, trying to muster up some hunger, I realized my outburst must've been grating for Caden. He was, as usual, making an effort to give away some of today to me, but I just had to blast out at him. God, I was such a horrible person.

"How's the turkey?" Caden inquired politely.

I forced on a smile, looking down at it. "It's amazing. Willa's a great cook."

He nodded in agreement. "I'll tell her you said so."

"Um, about earlier," I began hardly, attempting to gulp down the turkey now stuck in my throat. "I... I'm sorry. You were just trying to be friendly, and I was just so rude. I didn't mean it to come out like it did, I'm so sorry, really—"

Caden placed his hand on mine from across the table. "Autumn, chill out. It's okay, it's perfectly okay. I didn't mind, not at all."

I finally gulped it down. "You didn't?"

"Cut yourself some slack for once, Autumn," he told me sternly. "You've had a rough time the past four years. If anyone should apologize, it would be the people who did manage a call on Thanksgiving and asked about your plans, but didn't intrude further to find out why you didn't have any plans. It's only fair if they judged you after finding out your reasons."

I sipped from the glass of Coke. "Thanks for coming, Caden. I really do appreciate it."

Caden waved it off without a care in the world. "Don't mention it. You've done a lot for me, and I owed it to you to pay you a visit this pleasant evening. If anything, I should thank you for all that you've done for me."

If only you knew what you did for me.

"Well, now what?"

He sipped from his can of Pepsi, locking his hands together on the table. "Now, we say our thank-you speeches."

I scoffed in humor. "What? You're kidding."

"No kidding. Well, I say mine, since you said you had nothing to be thankful for."

I looked down in remorse, my expression darkening.

Caden cleared his throat, indicating he was going to begin his speech. "Apart from my family and Alfonso, one of the only real friends I have is you, Autumn. And I want to thank you for that. You've been an excellent tutor, a great company, and an amazing friend. So, thank you, for adding meaning to my life with your existence."

For a moment, I stared at him dazedly. His words had gotten the better part of me; caught me off guard. However, once I reassembled myself, I just snorted at him. His eyebrows aroused daringly. "Don't you think you're exaggerating?"

"I meant every word," Caden declared, the realm within his eyes seemingly mirroring his heart.

I continued to stare at him for a few seconds, until I said, "I believe you."

He smiled genuinely at me, pouncing up. "Well, I should get going."

"But, I haven't even said my speech yet," I protested, getting up as well.

Caden rolled his eyes humorlessly. "You said you weren't thankful for anything."

I pondered for a minute, coming to a conclusion about what I'd claimed. "I just remembered someone. Someone I really admire in my heart. Mind if I say my speech quick? It won't be long."

"Why quick?" he questioned, flouncing back down immediately in his seat. "If that's the case, I can wait the entire day. Just for you to let it all out into this one speech. Put it this way, the person's in front of you. Your words will obviously catch their heart, so try to make it as genuine as you can, yeah, Autumn? I'm here, I'm willing to wait. Take as long as you need to."

The person was in front of me, I insisted mentally, you might not know you were the person, but I did.

I flopped into my seat, sighing, and rummaging through my mind for the proper words.

Caden urged me politely. "Take your time."

"I met him a year ago," I started with the faintest smile on my lips. "I was upset, he was trying to be comforting. Surely, it hadn't been the best day. But somehow, he managed to enhance my day with his presence. He brought a smile to my lips when there were tears springing my eyes. He incited hope in my heart when the pieces were still shattered about. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself," I exuded, my voice cracking at the end as I revisited that night with Caden. "He didn't realize how much of an impact he had on me, but I truthfully am thankful for him."

He grinned at me, as if my words had quite literally touched his heart. So, a satisfying smile curled up my lips, for that was all I could wish for.

I was thankful for you, Caden O'Connor.