The Crush Plan

13

"Sweetheart, lunch is in the fridge. Remember to eat it, alright?" Mom prompted, replenishing her purse with all her needed items.

I nodded, plopping up on the kitchen's counter. "Can't I come with you? It's Christmas, for God's sake, Mom."

She rolled her eyes, zipping up her purse. "Autumn, I'm going to meet Dylan's mom today. I already have a lot to worry about, I don't need you adding to my troubles. Please, just try to understand, would you?"

"Mom, when was the last time we spent Christmas together? Hmm, not a tough question. Five years ago, Mom, five years ago."

Mom sighed, crossing her arms across her chest. "Sweetie, what do you want me to do, huh? Break up with Dylan, and sit home with you? For Christ's sake, Autumn, I've got my own life. Learn to respect that—it'll make both of our lives a whole lot easier."

I chuckled in irony. "That's all I've been doing for the past five years. Trying to respect your goddamn life. But when it comes to times like this—Thanksgiving, or Halloween, or Christmas—I expect you to give away some of your time to me. Is that so hard?"

"Honey-bun, I told you, we'll spend the whole day together tomorrow. Today, my priority list only includes Dylan and his mom. Try to understand, Autumn."

I huffed, throwing my hands in the air. "I am trying to understand! Priority list? For heaven's sake, Mom, when did that list ever include my name on it? Hint—never!"

Mom shook her head, giving up. "I'm done with this discussion. Have a nice day, Autumn." Blankly, I merely watched as she exited through the door and slammed it shut behind her.

Grabbing my phone—which was placed on the counter—I clicked on Dad's contact. Perhaps he would let me come over this evening. His phone rang about twice until he picked up, his voice stern.

"Merry Christmas, little one," he greeted merrily.

I smiled, playing around with a loose thread on my shirt. "Merry Christmas, Dad. So, I was just wondering... Do you mind if I come over this evening? See, it's Christmas, and I really don't have any plans, and—"

Dad cut me off immediately. "Actually, Autumn, we've got a lot of guests coming in this evening. I'm afraid I don't think I can attend to you as much as I'd like to."

"Oh."

His voice became a lot more cheerful afterwards. "Allow me to make it up to you? Breakfast brunch tomorrow. My treat."

I shrugged, not seeing how it made any difference. "Sure, I guess."

"Great," Dad chirped. "I'll see you tomorrow. Text you the details tonight, yeah?"

I shrugged yet again, although he couldn't see me. "Bye."

He sighed, presumably in relief. "Bye, honey."

Anger rushed through my veins, and hurt plunged into my heart. I closed my eyes, suppressing the tears pooling within my eyes. Caden's face flashed over my mind; his eyes fascinating me, his grin reassuring me. His thank-you speech replayed in my mind, his words touching my heart over and over again. In that moment, I arrived at a conclusion...

I would celebrate Christmas without my parents.

***

"Merry Christmas."

I smiled, opening the door wider so he could come in. "Merry Christmas, Caden."

Unlike most other times, he headed straight to my living room. His eyes melted to the sight before him—Santa's socks were hooked to the bushes resting on the fireplace; the colorful Christmas tree had the jingle bells dangling all about. The multicolored lights hung to the tree brightened up the entire room. Various ornaments swung loosely upon the branches, adding vibrancy.

"I just didn't have any presents to put underneath," I filled him in casually.

Caden's smile grew wider. "I've got a present for you. It's up to you if you want to open it, now, or put it underneath the tree until tomorrow."

I shrugged. "Let's just open it now. The tree looks good as it is."

"Okay," he agreed, reaching into his bag and pulling out a gift box. "Here you go," Caden held it out to me.

Curiously, I took it from him. I inspected the material, trying to distinguish what must be inside. It was a flat, rectangular prism. Cautiously, I began to unravel the gift wrap. My mouth was ajar when I spotted what he'd gotten me. I peered up so my eyes would meet his.

"You got me a DVD collection of Nicholas Sparks's movies?" Caden nodded in verification. "Oh, my god, Caden, this is too sweet of you. Thank you so much. Oh, my god, seriously?" He nodded yet again and this time, I couldn't resist the urge to throw my arms around him. I breathed his scent in; that familiar fragrance of mint and cologne.

Caden set his hands firmly on my waist. "You're very welcome."

That only evoked me to tighten my grip around his shoulders. I sighed, retreating from the embrace. "I've got a present for you, too."

"Really? Show me."

I giggled softly, striding towards the couch and grabbing the gift bag with his present in it. "Here it is," I said, handing him the bag.

Caden took it from my hand gently, reaching into it and pulling out what was inside. "A hoodie."

"I stole yours, so I figured you might need a new one," I winked teasingly.

He chuckled, opening it up from its fold. I observed keenly, as he fit into it. The gray of its color suited him just fine, and when he popped the hood over his head... My heart skipped a beat. Even in the color's plainness, Caden seemed like a model posing for an advertisement.

I grinned at him. "You look great."

"Thanks," Caden expressed, inspecting the material.

The two of us were sprawled across my bed, chowing from our bowls of pasta. Caden suggested we watch the DVD collection of Nicholas Sparks's movies. Admittedly, I was incredulous as to how he wanted to watch it all of the sudden when he was uncertain just a month ago. Apparently, in Caden's words, "a person can have a change in their taste." I couldn't exactly argue that, since scientifically, it was true. So here we were, watching and eating.

"So, I just wanted to say thank you," Caden began offhandedly. "For tutoring me for the past few months. My grades have jumped tremendously, and you're all I can thank."

I rolled my eyes. "You've said this plenty of times. Now, it's not all that flattering, in all honesty."

He exhaled, fixing his gaze hard on the TV. "It's different this time. My grades are good, which means, I can't exactly ask you to tutor me anymore. Which means... We won't see each other as often as before."

"What?" I questioned, after setting my bowl on the nightstand and peering at him in shock. "Caden, that's—"

Caden shook his head, unfazed. "I'm the captain of the soccer team, Autumn. After practice, I'll have to stay for an extra amount of time at the field, working out details with coach. Exams are kicking in, which means, you won't have time to see me amidst your studies. I guess I'll just be seeing you around at school. Sometimes."

I scoffed, grabbing the remote and pressing pause. "No. We're going to find time among our priorities. You, of all people, won't throw me out of your priority list. No, I'm not going to have that."

"I'm not throwing you out of my priority-"

I could feel tears pooling in my eyes, blurring my view. "Curse that priority list. Why does everyone have to throw me out of it? Am I that needless? Why doesn't anyone need me? Why?" There went the first tear droplet. Flowing down my cheek like a small piece of diamond.

Caden sat up, sighing. "Hey, don't cry."

"No, let me. I'm tired of holding it all in. You know why my parents divorced, Caden? Because my dad wouldn't give my mom enough attention. Seemingly, his priority list didn't include her. Mom was so upset, but Dad could care less. And one day, it turned out he had been lying all along. He didn't give Mom enough attention because he didn't want to prioritize for her. You'd think Mom would understand the feeling of ignorance, but no, she didn't." I let out a breath and bit my bottom lip.

"Today, Mom did the same thing to me as Dad once did to her. She refused to spend the day with me because I wasn't in her list of priorities. Dad refused to have me over because his guests were his number one priority. And you, Caden? You're going to stop spending time with me because your priority list is full. Priority, priority, priority. Gr... I hate that word!" I tugged on my hair strands forcefully with both hands, shutting my eyes tight, as a bunch of tears shed down.

He adjusted himself on the bed so he could be face-to-face with me. "Autumn, look at me. Hey, look at me," Caden insisted, softly cupping my cheeks and forcing me to look into his darned beautiful, emerald eyes. They held this strange emotion I couldn't get a grip around—this rare, powerful emotion I only saw in Romeo's eyes for his Juliet. But, who was I kidding? Caden wouldn't look at me like that—I was just misinterpreting what I saw. Another tear droplet slid past my eyes, but this time, he caught it, closing his hand into a fist with my tear droplet captured in it. "Are you seriously wasting these precious tears on me?"

I glared at him, pursing my lips and momentarily glancing down to avoid eye contact with him, before looking back up.

"Don't," Caden ordered simply. "I'm not worth them. Nobody's worth them. At least as of now they're not. Like you said, everyone's placing their priorities ahead of you. If that's the way they're treating you, they don't deserve these tears, Autumn. You deserve more than some selfish people who wouldn't give a damn about you."

I rolled my eyes, managing the quietest scoff.

He stroked my cheek with his thumb, inciting shivers down my spine. "The moment someone puts you before their own needs, you'll know they deserve these tears. And that day, Autumn, I won't stop you from shedding these tears. I promise."

"But I could cry a river for you, and you'd still be worth it all."

Caden chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "That's not true." His eyes locked with mine, and I spotted his jaw clicking in hurt as he said the next phrase. "I just now placed my priorities ahead of you. I hurt your feelings."

I smiled, placing my hands on top of his—which were still resting upon my cheeks. "But then, you cheered me up. Not everyone can do that, you know."

"Hmm," he thought for a moment. "I guess you're right," Caden decided, and the relieved grin that took over his face showed just how much he was glad I wasn't still hurt by his treatment of me. "Listen, I'm sorry if it sounded like I was throwing you out of my priority list, because I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I just want you to know, I'll do whatever it takes to keep you in my list. If I can't find time, I'll make time. I promise."

I nodded, understanding, and like an instinct, Caden engulfed me within his arms. I breathed in his scent, finding comfort in him.

This guy made me fall deeper in love with him practically everyday.