Fallen

Chapter Thirteen

I didn’t ask about Uriel after that. I figured he would talk to Azrael for a little while before going back to sleep. His body was badly broken, and I knew he would be in pain, so his mind would want to shut down to make healing easier. And I knew Azrael would keep an eye on him like I asked. Not that I didn’t want Azrael up here with me, I did. It just so happens that Uriel needed him more than I did at the moment. It also gave me time to think. Think about the look on Azrael’s face when he felt he had to make a choice between me and his brother. The relief I saw wash over him when I made the decision for him. In that moment he was torn, and it was in that moment I wondered if I had made a mistake. It only lasted a split second, but the guilt was weighing on me. It’s not like I was questioning Azrael himself, I was questioning whether or not we made the right decision.

What if something happened? What if all five fell? What would happen then? I knew already, deep down. No matter what Azrael said, he would go, and I would insist he go. I couldn’t just stand by and make him stay with me while his brothers fought for their home, for their lives. It was selfish, wrong, and I could never live with myself if I asked him to stay.

“Belle, are you alright?” Azrael’s voice came from behind me.

“Honestly? I don’t know yet.” I furrowed my brow as I went over and over everything. It all ended with the same conclusion. Azrael would have to go back.

I pulled over after a few hours driving. I still wanted to get us further away but here was a good place to rest for the night. When I turned the RV off, my hands gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white.

“I want you to listen to me Azrael, please. Wait until I’m done, because this is already hard for me to say. Will you do that for me?”

I turned and saw the strain on his face as he nodded at me. I smiled and reached out to him, smoothing the worried lines in his brow. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing like that. I have no second guesses, nor am I going anywhere. But you.” I closed my eyes and took a breath. “You will have to go. When Uriel is healed you will both be needed back in heaven to help Michael and the others. They can’t do this without you, and you know it as well as I do. And what happens if all five of you fall? Even then all five of you must return to take heaven back. I would never ask you to choose between me and your brothers or even your home. That’s why I am giving you my blessing now. But you have to promise me something.”

Azrael, took one of my hands in his and ran the back of his hand down the length of my face. “And what promise do you wish for me to make?”

I felt tears sting the back of my eyes as I stared into his silver eyes. “Promise me that you’ll come back to me. Promise me you’ll come home.”

Many emotions crossed in his eyes, never really settling on one specifically. “I can promise you that I will do everything within my power to come back to you.”

He worded that perfectly, giving me assurance while also preparing me for what may come. I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to survive without Azrael now. It’s amazing how much things could change so quickly.

“I guess that will have to do then.” I smiled sadly. “As long as you try, then I can accept it.”

“You know I would never want to leave you?” he asked.

“I do. That is why I am giving you, my blessing. That way you do not have to ask, feel guilty for staying and not fighting with your brothers. But also, so you won’t feel guilty for leaving me. I’ll be fine for a little while, and I’ll pray each day that you return to me.”

Azrael wiped the lone tear that escaped my eye with the pad of his thumb. So much was written in his eyes, so much he wanted to say but I could tell he didn’t know how. He wanted to thank me, I could see his shoulders lighten just from my words.

“You don’t have to carry this alone Azrael. If there is anything you need, anything I can do, tell me. I will gladly help if it is within my capabilities.”

“I do have one request,” He told me softly. “Is it possible for you to do to Uriel, what you have done to me?”

“You mean the soul thing?” I asked. “Do you think it would help him?”

“I do not know, but we can try.”

“And you’re sure you’re alright with this? Me giving Uriel a piece of my soul?” I raised a questioning brow.

“As long as you feel comfortable doing so.”

“I can try.” I said as I stood. I gave him a quick kiss before moving around him to go to Uriel. I didn’t know if this would help, and I hoped Uriel would forgive me if this was something he didn’t want. But Azrael asked me to try and so I will.

I stalled for half a second in the bedroom doorway before making my way to where his head lay. I knelt down to him and again wipe the hair from his face and just watched as he slept for a brief moment. He looked at peace again. “I truly am sorry for what happened to you. I know you didn’t deserve it. But maybe, just maybe I can at least help get you back to heaven. Please forgive me if this wasn’t something you wanted.”

With that I held one of my hands on his cheek and the other on his wrist so I could feel his pulse. I did the same as I did with Azrael. I centered myself and slowed my heart to match his. Once they were beating in tandem I projected. Just like last time I screamed at the top of my mental lungs for Uriel to be healed, to be alright. For his wings to heal so he wouldn’t lose them. And I meant it. Every word, every plea I meant. Uriel once was peaceful; he could be peaceful again. He jus had to be given the chance.

A startled gasp brought me back to myself and I opened my eyes and stared into the ice blue eyes of the man I was trying to heal. Remembering last time, a tinge of fear struck me and I found myself backing away from him, crab crawling to the furthest wall. Azrael was there and gently brought me to my feet and placed me behind him. I was thankful for that. No way did I want to face Uriel’s ire. But as I looked him over I realized his wings had turned the same silver as Azrael’s, tipped in black. I wonder what it meant.

“How did you? Why?”

I knew his words were directed at me so I peeked from behind Azrael to look at him. “Uh, Azrael asked me to try. So I did.”

“You willingly gave me a piece of your soul, simply because Azrael asked?” he asked me surprised.

“Well, yes, but there is more to it than that. I wanted to heal you, to help, just like I’ve already said. I just didn’t know I could do it this way.”

“And would you have known; would you have done it without Azrael’s prompting?”

“Yes, but only after I got permission from Azrael. He is the one who holds my heart and so he also holds my soul.” I realized what I said too late. This was not how I expected this to go.

Azrael turned to me his silver eyes blazing with joy at my words. “Is that true?” he asked me. “Did you truly give your heart to me?”

I nodded. “Yes.” Simple and to the point, but still, all he would need to hear. He didn’t need to hear how much that scared me. He didn’t need to know hoe truly and utterly terrified I was that he would leave. Or that when he went to heaven to fight, he would never come back.

My thoughts were interrupted when warm arms wrapped around my torso, and my feet left the ground. I laughed at his enthusiasm, and buried my face into the crook of his neck to inhale his scent of coconut, and what I could only describe as an ocean breeze. I kissed his neck where my head rested before he sat me back on my feet. I looked over to Uriel who was watching us with curious eyes.

“You must be like Azrael, not around the human race for a very long time. And believe it or not I agree with you. Humans are vile. They’re evil. They kill for fun, torture for the pleasure of it. They knock people down when they’re already at their lowest. People urge others into killing themselves by bullying and tormenting them. There would be much better people in the world if all the evil ones where gone. But sadly, now days, it’s hard to find a descent human being. Even if I had found you alone as I did Azrael Uriel, I never could have left you there to die. And I am going to tell you the same thing I told Azrael. You are free to go whenever you like, I don’t want or need anything in return.”

I walked over to him, still making sure there was a good three feet between us and looked up at him. “Why do you all have to be so dang tall? Anyway. You wanted to know why I healed you, and I told you the answer. Now you also wanted to know what I got out of it, right?” Uriel nodded; his eyes tight. “Give me your hand.” I urged. He hesitated a second before placing his hand in mine. He was the opposite of Azrael, his skin was cool, not as warm but somehow still felt as if a blanket had been lain over my hand. “This right here.” I told him moving his hand from front to back within my hands. “Your blood still flows, you still breathe.” I placed my other hand over his ribs where his lungs were. “And your heart still beats.” I dropped his hand and put it over his heart. “That’s what I get out of it. Knowing you’re alive, seeing it for myself. You both were hurt awfully when you were found and now, you’re both almost like new. That’s all I need.”

I looked up into Uriel’s ice like eyes and dropped my hands away from him. “You may not believe me, and that’s fine if you don’t, I understand. Really, I do. I don’t trust people either, or at the very least it takes time for me to learn to trust them. And you know what, good for you if you don’t trust me, because you should never trust or respect anyone, if they haven’t earned it.” I gave him a small smile and went back to Azrael’s, tucking myself under his arm and into his side.

“How is it, that there are seven million souls on this planet, and we just happened upon the one who is pure?” Uriel asked. He wasn’t asking me, he was more or less thinking out loud, trying to find an answer. It didn’t surprise me, he needed to know.

“My best guess is that despite you both being thrown from heaven, God knows you’re innocent, and has brought you to me. I could be wrong.” I shrugged. “I never really believed in God. But when Azrael fell at my door step, his existence could not longer be ignored or questioned."

“You may be right.” Uriel admitted.

“When you are both healed, you both need to go back. Try and convince Michael of what’s happening. He needs to understand how deep this uprising is rooted. But until then, no using your wings.” I looked up and playfully glared into Azrael’s eyes, then turned back to Uriel. “Out of everything, I’ve noticed they are slower to heal. You use them and the wounds return. You have to wait. I want you both to promise me you won’t use them until they are healed properly.” I looked between the two of them, waiting.

“I promise you I will not use my wings again until they are healed.” Azrael told me, running his fingers through my hair.

“As do I promise the same.” Uriel said, his voice strong and sure.

“Good, thank you.” I breathed sigh of relief. “Now we need to continue driving. Uriel, do you mind if I check your wounds over? I need to know if the stitches need removed since I did whatever it was that I did already healed a lot of you.”

“Of course.” Uriel inclined his head to me.

“You know that means I will have to touch you, don’t you?” I, needed to make sure he wouldn’t do anything since I had to touch him. And sure, enough his eyes tightened. I sighed heavily and stepped towards him once again. “I promise you I will not hurt you; I don’t want to hurt you. You remember just now, when I asked for your hand? I will do my best not touch you any rougher than that.” I looked over my shoulder to Azrael, wincing at the memory of his pain. “But, if I need to remove your stitches it will hurt, a lot, if Azrael’s reaction tells me anything.”

Uriel looked at me his eyes still hard. “I will allow it.”

“Okay, I’m going to start with the whip lashes, so I am going to unwrap these bandages.” I figured I would need to tell him step by step what I was going to do to keep him calm. “I had to give you a lot of stitches.” I told him as I unwrapped him. “It took me hours to get you all cleaned up and the blood stopped. I am glad we did find you though. You would have died had we not been there. I sincerely and happy you’re alive.”