Fallen

Chapter Fourteen

I looked over his wounds. Some stitches were ready to come out, while others still needed time. I circled him, looking at the ones on his back. It seemed whatever I did mostly healed his wings, though they still needed time. They weren’t quite healed the way I would like them to be. When I got back in front of him, I looked up at him. “Some are ready to be removed, but others need to stay a little while longer. Whatever I did mostly healed and changes your wings, though the stitches in them still need time.”

“What do you mean change my wings?!” He demanded; his tone sharp. Had he really not noticed?

“Look at them Uriel. They changed when I healed you.”

Uriel glowered at me before slowly wrapping one wing around him so he could see it. I watched his faced crumple with the pain and I couldn’t help but wince with him. “I’m sorry Uriel. It just happens when I heal that way.” I had backed back up into Azrael now and his arms were wrapped around me protectively. I watched warily as he looked at it dumbstruck and disbelieving. I looked up to Azrael. “I don’t think I should have done that.” I told him with a frown.

“You might be right.” He told me, never taking his eyes from his brother, his hold on me tightening.

“You did this?” Uriel asked, a heavy gasp coming from him as he put his wing back behind him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose.” For some reason unbeknown to me, I felt tears stinging the back of my eyes. I turned from Uriel and pressed my forehead against Azrael’s chest so I could force the tears away. “Azrael.” My voice was low, careful. “I will teach you how to remove the stitches and you can do it. I…just…I, I din..” I finally just sighed, moving past Azrael to my weapon closet. “His bow and quiver are in here beside your sword. I’m taking my own.” I grabbed my own bow and quiver, then tucked a gun into the back of my jeans.

Without another word, I walked out of the RV. My targets were in the cargo hold, I aggressively pulled the targets out and stomped over to where I wanted them, setting them up separate, but the same distance apart. It wasn’t long before I was sinking arrow after arrow into the center of the target. Aggression. Why was aggression always my go to, to get my anger out. Or any emotion really. I tired, I tried so damn hard to be nice, to be understanding, accepting. But I can only do so much. And no matter what I did, no matter what I said he was still cold towards me.

I growled at the thought, throwing my bow on the ground at my feet and pulling my 9mm Glock from my waist band. It was an extended clip, making it possible to have thirty-three bullets in it. And I shot them. Time after time after time, until it was doing nothing but clicking, telling me I was out of ammo. I could still feel my anger though, my hurt. I could feel the rejection and confusion. I didn’t understand why I was feeling this way. I didn’t know why I felt rejected or pushed aside. I was feeling so much at once I wanted to scream.

I dropped the gun, fisting my hands into my hair before huffing, and going to collect the arrows from the target. I sighed; I had destroyed most of them again. Another arrow hitting the other in the same place, splitting the other in half. I was tired of having to buy arrows. When I eventually had the split arrows separate from the good ones, I set them down on the ground in front of the target and headed out into the woods. There wasn’t much here. It wasn’t a planned stop, just one to rest for a day then leave again. But there was enough to where I could go and be alone. Try and figure all these wound-up emotions inside of me. None of it made any sense.

When I felt I had gone far enough I sat on a downed tree and hung my head. I really understand Uriel’s ire, his distrust and anger. But he needed to direct it where it was earned. I had done nothing but help him, heal him. No, I didn’t want anything in return, I didn’t even want a thank you. But I would like some semblance of respect. He didn’t have to act like that, he was free to go whenever he wanted to. I wasn’t keeping him here. And ignoring all of that, why was I feeling rejected, hurt even over his behavior? It made no sense. None at all. This was all just too much; it was too hard. Well with Uriel it was. Thigs were easy with Azrael.

“You are talented with weapons.” A voice came from behind me, startling me. And the only thing I could think about was defending myself. My brain jumping back to that night seven years ago. I bound from where I was sitting, jumping a good ten feet from him, and pulled my blades from my boots. I was always armed, in some way. I would never go unarmed again. I made sure my stance was wide so I was better able to keep my balance, a blade in both hands. When my mind registered it was Uriel, I sighed. I straightened my stance and returned my blades to my boots.

“I could have killed you.” I stated flatly, before turning from him and sitting back where I once was.

“Human weapons would not kill me.” He told me, sounding almost amused.

“Fine, then I could have hurt you then. Either way, just don’t sneak up on me.” I held no amusement in my tone. I made sure it was flat, emotionless, cold. Just as he was with me.

“I apologize for my behavior Belle. I did not mean for it to hurt you.”

I laughed. “You may not have meant to hurt me, but you did want it to have an affect on me. You didn’t do or say anything you didn’t want to or anything you didn’t mean. I would be willing to bet you were here now because of Azrael and not of your own accord.”

“You are partly correct.” Uriel admitted. “He wanted me to apologize. But I wanted to speak with you.”

“Uriel, if you want to scare me off, then congratulations you succeeded. I’ll leave you alone. I don’t want to be around someone who does not welcome me.”

“Why did you respond to me the way you did a moment ago?” He asked, changing the subject.

I turned and looked him dead in his icy gaze. “Betrayal.” I stated, before turning and staring back into the woods. “It happened seven years ago. And yet it still seems like it was yesterday, I still have nightmares. So when I told you I know, I was telling the truth. I wasn’t trying to connect with you over something so awful.” I swung my legs and body around so I could face him. “If I wanted to make a connection with you Uriel, I would want to start with something positive. A foundation can’t be built on pain and betrayal.”

“Then why say the things you did?” He asked, surprising me as he walked over and sat by my side.

“I was trying to comfort you Uriel. To make you feel like you were understood, safe. Apparently, I failed miserably, so I gave up and left you to Azrael. He is your brother, so I assumed he would be better than I was.”

“What happened to you?” He asked turning to face me.

I pressed my lips into a thin line and squeezed my hands into fists. He wanted to know what happened, who betray me, and how. I doubt he could understand, we went through two very different kinds of betrayal and yet both of us were betrayed by our brothers. It was kind of funny, the irony in it.

“It was much like you. My brother believed others over me. Sided with them. Like I told Uriel, my family comes from money, and my brother always loved showing it off. While I would keep my distance, hoping to stay in the background. It never worked. Girls wanted to be friend for money or my brother. Then the boys all tried to get with me. None of them ever seemed to get the hint when I told them no. They kept trying, kept asking. Some even going to my brother for permission like I was some kind of object. Well one night my brother had three of his friends over. Sometime during the night my brother had to leave to do something, get something, I’m not sure. But during that time, his three friends came into my room.” I closed my eyes, clenching my hands harder. “I couldn’t fight them off, no matter how hard I tried. Two would hold me down, while the other….uh, the other had their way. When I kept fighting, they would only laugh and hit me. When they were done with me, they left my room laughing, congratulating each other on what they’d done. I went to the hospital and filed a report, but it did nothing. Their parents paid the judge off, so nothing happened to them.”

“Until Azrael I vowed to myself, I would never give my heart away, never even look at another man. I wanted to be alone, secluded. I wanted to be away from everyone. Every human I could. But I was also running. Running from home, from the boys my brother continued to bring over. They all would try approaching me everyday since, up until I left.” I looked up to Uriel with sad eyes. “So you see, I know betrayal. Know what it feels like when it comes to family.” I shook my head sadly. “I wouldn’t lie to you just to make you feel better.”

“How could your parents allow that?” Uriel’s voice was hard, clipped. His eyes filled with an icy fire.

“My parents were never around. I never knew them. They traveled the world and was never home more than three days at a time, even they would spend that time planning another trip. The most I got from them was money and gifts sent through the mail.” I laughed, looking down at my hands. I uncurled them and watched the blood slowly dripped from where my nails dug into my palm. “I’ve always been alone, and I thought I would continue to be alone for the rest of my life, and it honestly the idea didn’t bother me.”

“But then Azrael came into my life, and I just connected with him from the very beginning. I tried, I tried so hard to ignore it. I still thought I didn’t want to be close to anyone, and I didn’t want to be close to him. But the more time we spent together, the more I found myself falling for him. Then I lied to all of you for him, to save his life. I just couldn’t stand the thought of him being hurt, or killed. You’re not much different Uriel. I feel the beginning of the same connection I had with Azrael with you, but I can’t let that turn into anything. Not after everything. You don’t like me and that’s fine. As long you let me take care of you, heal you then I will be okay.”

“I never meant you any harm Belle. My anger was never for you, and I should not have taken it out on you or around you. You only meant well, and even before my deplorable actions I could feel you meant well. I heard you, before you healed me. I heard what you said. And there is nothing to be forgiven. You have done nothing wrong. I’ve heard you speak with Azrael; I know you want to keep the two of us safe and make sure no more of my brothers fall. Should more fall, I know you will care for them as you did for us.”

“If any more of you fall, I’m going to need a bigger RV. You and Azrael are huge compared to human standards.”

Uriel seemed like he wanted to smile, but winced instead. Pain flashed in his eyes, brightening the blue for a split second. It worried me. He shouldn’t be out here like this, he shouldn’t have followed me. He needed to be back in the RV, resting so he could heal. I needed to take the stitches out so they didn’t heal into his skin. And the weight of his wings on his back would not help the healing. He couldn’t put them away until they were healed a bit more so he has to walk around and lay with them out.

“Come on Uriel.” I sighed as I got up. I held my hand out to him “You need to get back and rest. All this moving around isn’t good for you, not yet. You need to lay down and heal, not follow me into the woods. I’m glad you did though, I enjoyed your company. But we need to get you back, and I need to get those stitches out of you.”

Uriel actually took my hand, his skin cool but warm at the same time. I didn’t realize how much help he actually needed until I had him on his feet. He swayed a bit, his face going pale. I wrapped one arm around his waist and the other on his abdomen to help keep him steady. On reflex I’m sure his arm reached for me, holding firmly onto my shoulders. This was not good. I looked him over, and saw blood seeping from where his wings attached to his back.

“Uriel, we need to brace your wings. They’re too heavy for you to carry with your stitches. You’re bleeding out again.” I carefully sat him back down, desperate to find something I could use. I looked down at myself and groaned. My T-shirt. It was huge, oversized, and fell to my knees. Without another thought I pulled it over my head and ripped it into long bandages. Carefully, I bound his wings to his back the best I could. It wasn’t perfect but it was enough to keep a lot of the weight off of him, and maybe stop the bleeding. When I walked back around to his front, he didn’t look good. His face had grown paler, his eyes drooped closed. His breathing was ragged again. And I was welly and truly terrified for him.

“Uriel?” I knelt down to where I was face to face with him. I grabbed his face in between my hands and drew his face up to mine. “Uriel, look at me.” No response. “Urial please. Don’t so this, not now. Open your eyes look at me.” I gently shook hid head between my hands. When he still didn’t respond panic seared into me. “Urial, you have to wake up, you have to look at me come on.” I begged.

When he still didn’t respond, I pulled his arm over my shoulder and braced him against me. Then hauled him and myself to my feet. He was heavy, just as Azrael was and it was so hard to carry him and not hurt him further. The whole way back to the RV I begged for Azrael to find us, begged God for Uriel to be alright. The further I walked the more exhausted I became. By the time we broke the tree line I collapsed. There was just no way I could carry him any further, I couldn’t even carry myself. But somehow, I had managed to make sure Uriel hadn’t fallen into a position where he wouldn’t hurt his wings. I had barely got done with the thought before Azrael was at my side.

“I…I’m….fi…fine. Ju..just tired.” I finally managed to get out through my rapid breathing. I pointed over to Uriel, urging Azrael with my eyes to take him first.

“No.” Azrael picked me up bridal style and rushed me back to the RV putting me in the bed. I couldn’t even thank him as he ran out the door after Uriel. All I could do was hope Uriel would be okay.