Fallen

Chapter Ten

It was hours later before we finally stopped. I was too anxious and wound up to stop, I needed to keep my mind busy. I needed to be able to think, though it was hard with Azrael’s eyes on me the entire drive. I so desperately wanted to ask him why he was staring at me so intently. But I was also scared to know the answer. It looked like he wanted to tell me something, ask me something. But he seemed to be arguing with himself over it. What could an angel be confused about? Surly he knew just about everything. He’s been alive since the beginning of creation, watched as God crafted the earth and the humans.

I still hadn’t moved since we stopped. I knew I needed to move, get out and set up, but how could I with him staring? I was on edge, curious, frightened and excited all at once. Should I start the conversation? Should I wait for him? What was I supposed to do? Tired of waiting I stood up and walked over to where he was. I sat right in front of him and looked him in the eye. This seemed to amuse him, his lips twitched at the corners as if he wanted to smile, humor danced in his silver eyes.

“So.” I said leaning forward resting my elbow on my knee and my chin in my hand. “What’s on your mind? Seems to me like you want to talk about something but are weighing options back and forth on whether or not to.”

“You are observant.” Azrael nodded; a glimmer of uncertainty flashed over his features.

“Well, I’m used to standing in the background observing. You can learn a lot more by watching people than by talking to them. People tend to lie, a lot.”

Azrael nodded and stood, reaching his hand out to me to help me up. “Come, let us take a walk.” I furrowed my brow in confusion, but took his hand as he pulled me to my feet. He got a curious look on his face as he observed his hand holding mine. He turned our hands back and forth from one side to the next just watching. I wondered what was on his mind.

“How are the wings?” I asked, trying to break the deafening silence. Azrael smiled as he looked up from our hands, but he never let mine go. My heart sped up, almost feeling as if it would beat out of my chest. Did he want to keep my hand like this? Was there a reason behind it? If so, did I want to know the reason?

“They are much better. Would you like to see?” His smile grew as I nodded in excitement, a wide smile spreading across my face at the thought of seeing his wings.

He was weird with his wings; He could make them appear and disappear at will. I hardly ever saw them out since they healed enough for to hide them. I honestly haven’t seen them in a day or so. I really wanted to know how they were doing. I wanted to check on them. Azrael pulled me out of the RV, his hand holding mine firmly. But he underestimated his strength and my balance. As he pulled me down the stairs I stumbled.

Before I knew it I was tumbling down the stairs about to land on my face. But he caught me. I landed sprawled out onto his chest. My breathing halted and my heart stuttered at being so close, so connected. I couldn’t bring myself to move. My hands on his muscled chest, his arms around me. I wanted to stay like that, never move. I looked up at Azrael embarrassed, I knew red stained my cheeks.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, trying to pull myself to my feet. Because at the moment, he was supporting all of my weight. He held me as if he was holding nothing more than a feather.

“I’ll always catch you, Belle.” He murmured into my hair, before placing me firmly on my feet. I was stunned, frozen. “I’ll always catch you, Belle.” His words were on repeat inside my head. I heard him say it over and over and over again. “Are you coming?” he asked, throwing me a smile over his shoulder.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m coming.” I scrambled to catch up to him until I was walking by his side. Which was hard by the way. His legs were longer than half my body. “Hey, um. Could you slow down a bit?” I breathed. “Your one step is like four of mine.” Azrael laughed, but slowed down to my pace. It must be hard for him, just as staying with him was hard for me, but I couldn’t walk faster without running. And I am not going to run, not unless I have to.

“Here is good.” He stopped abruptly, and I almost ran into him. He quickly grasped me by my shoulders catching me before I could. He laughed again, before taking a few steps away from me. “Are you ready?”

I nodded eagerly, bouncing on the balls of my feet in excitement. “Come on, come on, come on.” I pleaded excitedly. “I haven’t seen your wings healed, I bet they’ll be beautiful.”

Azrael frowned for just a moment before his smile was back, not as big, not as bright, but back on his face all the same. “Yes, they were.” He told me, before closing his eyes and letting his wings burst free. His wing span was much larger than I remembered. But what was most beautiful and mesmerizing. Was his once black wings were a vibrant silver, the silver tipped in the raven black they use to be.

“Azrael, they’re amazing.” I breathed, involuntarily walking forward. “Can I touch them?” I asked, waiting for his permission. He never opened his eyes, but gave me a tight nod. I didn’t know what was wrong, his wings were amazing. I gently, carefully ran my fingers through his wings. They felt like silk, soft, stunning. I felt him shudder under my fingers and couldn’t help but smile. I circled around him, dragging my fingers the entire length of his wings. When I got to his back, I marveled at how well they had healed.

Dragging my finger down his spine where his wings met his back, not even a scar was left behind. “They healed beautifully.” I told him, hoping it would make him feel better. But when I was back to standing in front of him I saw his eyes were still closed. “Open your eyes Azrael.” I urged, the smile in my voice as plain as day. Could he hear it? Could he notice the excitement, the awe that was clear in my tone? I knew he couldn’t see it, but could he hear it?

“I do not believe I want to.” He whispered, desperation in his voice.

“Why not? They’re beautiful. Stunning.”

“They were the purest of white before I fell, unmarred, perfect. Now they will be black from the fall, from the fire scorching them. They will look just like Lucifer’s; I do not know if I can handle that.” His tone was saddened, hurt.

“But they’re not black Azrael. They were, when I found you. But now. Now they are a brilliant silver, the tips black as a crow’s wing. They are amazing.”

Azrael opened his eyes in confusion. He curled his wings towards him as he examined them, just as awe struck as I was. His eyes were full of wonder and confusion. In his haste to examine his wings, he had enclosed me inside them with him, pulling me closer to his chest until I was flush against him. I knew with how close we were he could feel the speed of my heart, could feel my breathing becoming more rapid. How did he do this to me? I wondered if he knew what he was doing.

Azrael, now looking down at me smiled. “How is it a human such as yourself, could capture me so completely? How easily you have bewitched me.” His hand reached down and he ran the back of his hand down the side of my face, his gentle touch making goose bumps rise on my skin. “You truly are a unique human. One of a kind.”

By this time, I was pretty sure my heart had completely stopped. I think I even stopped breathing as I drown in the depths of his silver eyes. I never wanted to emerge again. Keep me here, lock me up, I am gone. Nothing could make me want to look away, nothing could make me want to move. I was terrified if I even tried to breathe again it would break the spell, we were under.

“How is it you can so easily break down all the walls I had built around myself? How is it that you somehow found your way into my life?” I shook my head with a smile. “I was wary at first. Now, now I wouldn’t change meeting you for anything.”

Azrael smiled. “You said you did not wish to have a human companion.” He reminded me. “How do you feel about nonhumans?”

His question froze my already stalled breath, my eyes widened. Was he asking wha…did he just… No, he couldn’t have. An angel and a human? How would that work? How could we…? Is it possible? Did I want this?

“Ar…are yo..you.” I stopped and cleared my throat. “Are you asking about me and you?” My voice was barely a whisper, I didn’t know how to put extra power into it.

Azrael gently swept a stray piece of my hair behind my ear, the softest and most genuine smile I had ever seen graced his perfect features making him look more like a god, than angel. “I do.” Two simple words, and yet there was so much meaning behind them. Much more than I ever in a million years could have imagined. “How? How would that work? A human and an angel? You Azrael.” I gave him a sad smile as I reached up and caressing his face in my hands. “You deserve so much better than a human girl. You need someone who is equal to you, someone who can stand by your side and not hinder you. If something were to happen, anything. You could get hurt protecting me because I would be unable to protect myself. How Azrael? How could this be between us?”

I hoped he had an answer, something that could break through all the doubts and insecurities that were racing through my mind. I was sure that this man, this angel was something I desperately wanted, something I could never dream of having. He was so far out of my reach I could barely see him. He knew this, he knew he couldn’t have anything substantial with me. Eventually I would wither and die, while he stayed the same.

“Because I say it so.” Azrael broke through my mental tirade. “Saving you from harm, protecting you. None of that would ever be a hindrance to me. I am an archangel, I can protect you, keep you safe. A human and an angel is not unheard of. It has been centuries since a mating such as that has been. Humans have become too evil for us to even try. But you, you are pure, special. And so very strong. You put me above yourself. Risked your life by lying to my brothers to protect me. Lied to your fellow human.” He once again ran the back of his hand down my face. “I was brought to you for a reason, we found each other for a purpose. Look at what you’ve done to me.” He spread his wings wide, the silver glimmering off the setting sun. “No angel, archangel or otherwise has ever had the coveted silver wings, and yet, you gave them to me so freely.”

Azrael closed his wings around us again, caging me in, pressed against his chest. I leaned my forehead against him with my eyes closed and my head spinning. I didn’t know how to process all of this. It was all just so much. And yet, I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay here, in the embrace of his arms and wings. In here, with him I was safe. No one could hurt me here, and I have never felt such relief, such peace in my life.

“You know it’s funny,” I chuckled. “I never thought I would find anyone, that I would spend my life alone, and I was fine with that, happy even. But you, you changed everything. When I first brought you with me and stitched you back together, the only thing in my head was to keep my distance. Let you leave when you healed. But we just connected, like…like two puzzle pieces would fit together. And here, now. Wrapped in your arms, your wings, I feel safe. At peace.” I looked up at him now smiling. “I’ve never knew what peace felt like, what true happiness felt like. Not until you.”

Azrael tightened his grip around me, his arms completely encompassing me. I barely came up to the center of his chest, I could comfortably rest my head right now, right in the enter of his chest. And that’s what I did. I turned my head and pressed it against his chest, and listened to his heart beat. Instead of keep my hands splayed on his chest I wrapped them around his torso though I couldn’t reach all the way around him. His heart sped up at my touch, and when I squeezed myself closer to him, drawing him closer to me, it actually skipped a beat. I couldn’t believe I had this kind of affect on an archangel.

“Are you sure Azrael? I…I don’t want to get hurt.”

“Oh dear Belle, how much it is you don’t know about my kind. We do not make decisions on whims, we think, we plan. We think about what the future might hold. And we do not choose our beloved for just a little while. No, my Belle. Our beloved is eternal, forever. There have even been times more than one archangel shared a beloved. It is hard for us archangels to find pure souls, or even our equal in our own kind. You are the exception, the marvelous and beautiful exception. And I choose you.”

Those words, three little words. Who knew something so small, could have such an impact? I choose you. Nothing special to an ordinary person, but to me it was everything. Someone willingly chose me. Not out of greed or spite. Not because I was something he couldn’t have, or misplaced sense of possession. No. he actually wanted me, and I was utterly stunned.

“You. You choose me?” The words fell from my lips on a whispered breath, not meant for him to hear. I was just tasting the words on my lips.

“Yes, my beauty.” He leaned down and pressed hid forehead to mine. That couldn’t be comfortable considering the size difference. “In my entire existence I have never taken a beloved, never even considered the possibility of one. I am a warrior; warriors do not take beloveds because most warriors do not come home.”

I recoiled at the thought of him not coming back. I didn’t like that thought at all. I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t like that.” I admitted shaking my head fiercely.

“What is it that displeases you?” He asked me, pulling away to look me in the eye.

“The thought of you not coming back.

“Don’t worry, I will always come back to you.” His words sounded like a vow. It made me smile.

“I’ll hold you to that you know.” I teased, his silver eyes completely consuming me.

“I would expect nothing less.” He smiled, as he slowly leaned down pressing his lips to mine. Fire flared throughout my body; sparks exploded behind my eyes. I pressed myself closer to him, reaching behind him and twining my hand in his hazel hair. Never could I have imagined my first real kiss be with an archangel. Never could I have believed I would feel such bliss, such intensity.

Azrael must have gotten tired of leaning down to my height because he picked me up, holding me at his level. On instinct I wrapped my legs around his torso. He seemed to enjoy this as he intensified our kiss, his lips pressed to mine bruisingly. He ran his tongue along my bottom lips seeking entry, which I eagerly gave. He tasted of honey and summer rain, both perfectly blended to make Azrael. My Azrael. I couldn’t help the groan that escaped me, the feel of him, the taste of him all overwhelming my senses.

Just as his hand skimmed the bottom of my back, an explosion tore through the sky. Azrael instantly went into protector mode, His entire frame bent over me, his wings surrounding the both of us. But I knew what it was. What dumb luck did I have for this to happen again. What are the odds? What am I? Some kind of freaking beacon for them? Might as well paint red and white stripes on me and call me an angel lighthouse.

“Azrael.” I screeched, not meaning to be so loud. “You need to go, now. It’s not dangerous, it’s another angel falling.”

Azrael was on his feet, tucking me protectively under his wing and took off through the trees. I squeezed my eyes shut, the speed at which he was going making me sick. I thought that maybe, just maybe it would help. It didn’t. My stomach twisted and turned, I had to press my hand over my mouth to suppress the vomit threatening to spew from me. Non too soon he came to a stop. He set me on my feet, I wobbled, trying to gain my balance. He stayed by my side, the whole time his face strained.

“Go.” I rasped. “I’m fine. Motion sick, that’s all.”

Azrael nodded, then jumped into the newly formed crater of another fallen angel. I wondered which one it was this time. Was it another archangel? A citizen angel? What all kinds of angels were there? When I felt I was okay to move I made my way towards the crater, stumbling my way in just like I had with Azrael. All breath left me when I saw the pure white hair of Uriel. His snow-colored hair not touched by the fall, but his once beautiful wings were scorched black as tar. Both together was such a stark contrast against his ivory skin. Just like Azrael, except this time his wings were hanging on by a thread. He’d be lucky if I could save them.

“Belle!” Azrael shouted. I made my way over to him as quickly as I could the panic in his eyes sending shockwaves through my chest. “I do not have the power to heal him yet. I am not fully restored.”

I nodded, “Get him back to the RV, I’ll follow as quickly as I can. Get his shirt off of him and clean him up before I get there. And be careful with his wings. Don’t let that last shred of muscle tear, it’s his only hope of saving them.”

Azrael looked at me torn. This is what I was afraid of. “Go, I’ll be fine.” After a second of deliberation he nodded, picking Uriel’s still body up and taking off into the air. It scared me; I didn’t think he was healed enough for that but it was too late for me to say anything.

I grabbed Uriel’s bow and quiver, throwing them over my back, and climbed up out of the crater and started running. I could see the light from the RV from here, Azrael lighting it up like a Christmas tree for me to see. I ran as fast as I could, ducking and weaving through trees. I was careful not to damage the weapon on my back in the process. Something told me Uriel would not be happy should anything happen to it. I also knew that if I didn’t make it back quick, Uriel may not survive.