THE BOY I LOVED THE MAN I SHOULDN’T

I’m Lyra, eighteen, hopelessly romantic, and hopelessly in love with someone I’ve never touched. Every night, i’d curl up to my bed, phone pressed to my ear, hearing him laugh from hundred miles away was so soothing. It was the only thing thing i looked up to every morning. Imagining the life we’d have when we eventually met. “Tell me something random” His voice came through her phone, deep but playful She giggled lying flat on her bed, staring at the ceiling. “Random?” “Yes. anything. I just want to hear you talk”. Lyra let out a quiet laugh. “You literally called me”. “And?” He replied. “ I love hearing your voice, is that a crime now ?” She rolled onto her side, holding her pillow closer to her chest. “Are you obsessed with me?” “Maybe”, he said easily “You don’t sound like you mind”. “I don’t”. She admitted softly. This was there normal routine, call that last hours, conversation that drift from blabbing to something deeper without warning. He knew how to make her laugh, “You didn’t tell me how your day went or do you have someone else you blab to now?” He said jokingly “No i don’t. And it was nothing new, Same things, Same people. Nothing special.” “I doubt that,” he murmured. “You’re involved, and that makes it special.” She shook her head, even though he couldn’t see her. “You say things like that too easily.” “Yeah duuuuhhh, cause they’re true.” There was silence, not the awkward one. It was the kind that felt full. With him, silence never felt empty. And that was the problem. Because as real as he was, as steady and present as his voice sounds through the phone, there was another verson of lyra that existed outside of this. A calmer and quieter version. The one she never let him see. “You went quiet,” He noticed. “Where’d you go?” “No where,” she said quickly. “I’m here.” “Lyra.” “What?” “You did that thing,” he said. “Where you disappear for a second.” She exhaled gently. “I said i’m here.” He didn’t push. He rarely did. “Alright,” he said instead “But you know if something is bothering you, you can tell me right?” “I know.” But she wouldn’t. Because how was she supposed to explain something that didn’t make sense even to her. How her mind sometimes drifted to an un-invited space. One built on images and interviews she pretended didn’t matter. The celebrity she never spoke about. She remembered the day she mentioned him once, casually. “If I ever meet him,” she had said, laughing , “I might actually go crazy.” “You?” her boyfriend had teased. “Go crazy? I’d pay to see that.” “I’m serious,” she insisted, smiling. “I wouldn’t even act normal.” “You’re already not normal,” he joked. “Wow.” “I’m kidding,” he added quickly. “Relax. You’re cute when you’re dramatic.” She had laughed it off. But the truth was, it hadn’t felt like a joke. Not entirely. “Hey,” his voice pulled her back again. “You’re doing it again.” “Doing what?” “Leaving.” “I’m not leaving,” she said, sitting up slightly. “You’re just overthinking.” “Am I?” he asked. “Yes.” “Hmm.” A small pause. “Okay, I’ll let it go. For now.” She smiled faintly. He always noticed more than she expected. Still, she stayed where she belonged. With him. Because he was real. Not a fantasy. Not a distant image on a screen. He was the one who stayed on the phone with her until she fell asleep. The one who remembered the smallest details about her. The one who chose her, every single day. And she chose him back. “Lyra,” he said again, quieter this time. She straightened slightly. Something in his tone shifted. “What?” “I’ve been thinking.” “That’s dangerous,” she replied lightly. “Haha very funny.” “I know.” He exhaled, like he was deciding something. “There’s something I want to tell you.” Her chest tightened just a little. “Okay…. Spill.” A pause. Not the comfortable kind this time. “I didn’t want to tell you until it was confirmed,” he said gently. Lyra sat up fully now, her grip tightening around her phone. “Tell me what?” “I’m coming to your city.” Everything around her seemed to go quiet. “…What?” she whispered. “I booked my flute today,” he continued, a hint of excitement breaking through. “I’ll send you everything. I just wanted to tell you first.” “You’re serious?” she asked, her voice barely steady. “Yeah,” he said. “I am.” Her heart started racing fast. “You’re actually coming here,” she said, almost to herself. “I told you I would,” he replied. “You didn’t believe me?” “I did,” she said quickly. “I just… I didn’t think it would be this soon.” He chuckled softly. “You sound like you’re in shock.” “I am.” “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” She let out a breath, her lips slowly curving into a smile he couldn’t see. “A very good thing.” “Good,” he said. “Because I’ve been counting down to this.” Lyra closed her eyes for a second, letting it sink in. All the calls. All the waiting. All the distance. It was finally leading somewhere real. “I can’t wait to see you,” he added. Her heart skipped. “Me too,” she said softly. And for the first time, the line between imagination and reality didn’t feel so distant anymore. In her mind, this was it. The moment everything would finally make sense. The moment their love would become something undeniable. Something real. Something that would last.