Love the Lost

Love

Love

“I can't believe you're real.” The girl's hands slid across his cheek. “How can you be real? I thought you were a dream.”

“I'm not sure how to explain.” Remus whispered. “I told you that I was in a coma. I'd been forced out of my body and couldn't return. You were my light in the darkness.”

“But you thought I was a ghost, right?” The girl asked. “Why?”

Fuck. Should I tell her about my curse? Will she understand? Will she think I'm crazy? Can I trust her?

Remus stared at her. She'd understood him in their dark prison. She made him smile and her kiss made him fly.

She was there. She saw a piece of my pain. Maybe she will understand. Why not?

“We have to talk somewhere else.” Remus took the girl's hand. “This way.” He pulled her outside and into an alley. She didn't fight him and smiled when they stopped.

“So, why did you think I was a ghost?” She asked.

“Because I see ghosts.” Remus blurted. “I've been able to see them since I was a little kid. You're the only one that I've ever told. I can leave my body a lot but I can't completely control it. When my father beat me, my spirit left my body but I didn't die because you don't always die when your spirit exits your body. You have to be cautious though because you're leaving your body vulnerable. I imagine you've done the same thing. You once mentioned that you were in school when you saved me from one of those shadows. You'd left your body then.”

“And woke up in an ambulance.” The girl finished. “I just thought I'd passed out. So you're what, a medium?”

“I don't know.” Remus whispered. “I'm nothing. Why'd you think I was a dream?”

The girl gave him a gentle smile then pulled up his sleeve. She stared at his scars. “Because I didn't think a guy like you could ever be real.” She kissed his wrist. “You're so sweet and understanding. You're so easy to talk to and I just figured that I'd gotten to the point where I'd just dreamed a perfect guy.”

The girl then laughed and stared into his eyes. Her chestnut eyes glistened in the moonlight.

“But I should've figured you were real.” She went on. “I may be messed up but I don't think I'd dream my perfect guy leaving for good.”

“What happened after I left?” Remus felt a smile forming. He hadn't felt like this since he'd last saw her. He was happy to have her back.

Maybe I'll even get to kiss her again.

“I woke up.” The girl answered. “I never went back either. I just started having my normal dreams. Guess there was just something about you that made me come to you.”

“Maybe.” Remus whispered. “I'm sorry that I left you.”

“No.” The girl shook her head. “You had to go back, so that your friend would be okay. Oh, how is he?”

“His heart's gotten a little worse.” Remus answered. “But he's not in the hospital or anything.”

“I really did think you were a dream.” The girl hugged him. “How silly, though. What kind of a girl dreams about a boy without a name?”

“That's right!” Remus exclaimed. “I never did tell you my name.”

“And I never told you mine.” The girl grinned. “We didn't need to, did we? Names are a trivial thing.”

“But it would've helped in finding you.” Remus pointed out.

“True.” The girl backed away and extended her hand to Remus. “My name is Shana.”

“Re...”

“Evan!” Eric came up behind him.

Fuck.

Remus was actually going to tell her his real name. For some reason, he trusted her. She wanted nothing but friendship out of him. She'd helped keep him sane until he returned to his body. But he couldn't tell her with Eric around.

“Who's this girl?” Eric smiled at Shana with a look of a hungry wolf. “Hi, I'm Eric.”

“Shana.” Shana's voice turned cold and she gave Eric a death glare. “And I know who you are. You're the guy that sells pills at the meeting. I just figured you were a pathetic hustler, preying on the beaten. That was until I saw you and Evan making out. Quite impressive.”

“Oh that.” Eric waved his hand. “That was nothing. Just the tension in the room. You don't like pills?” Eric seemed to be baiting Shana.

What's he doing? Why's he talking like that?

“I don't do drugs.” Shana shook her head. She was now glaring at Remus.

She'll never like me then. I never told her about my dealing. I'm f****d.

Eric grabbed Shana's arm. He turned it over and exposed her wrist. The scars were exactly like Remus remembered. He just wanted to kiss them. He wanted to make her feel better.

“My pills will make you feel better than those cuts ever will.” Eric whispered.

Shana pulled away and shoved Eric. “Get off!” She yelled. “I don't want none of your shit.”

Remus leaped into action. He stood in front of Shana and glared at Eric. “Leave her alone, man. She's not a customer.”

Eric looked confused. “What's up with you Evan?”

“I'm keeping you in check.” Remus thought quickly. I did say I'd keep him from hitting Haley. “You're going too far and pushing too hard. She said no.”

Eric closed his eyes and sighed. “Sorry.” He whispered. “Lack of sleep. Hay's been keeping me up with her bullshit about us being clean.” Eric shook his head. “I'm going home but we do need to talk.” He walked past Remus. “Don't come home too late. You never know who's watching this place. And be cautious about the people you talk to.”

Remus nodded then turned back to Shana. She had her arms crossed over her chest, her face red. “Clean?”

“I used to be addicted to pills.” Remus hung his head. “I got clean because Eric's heart is weakening and he asked me to get better. I'll never push drugs on you.”

Shana sighed. “As long as you're clean.” She smiled. “Stay that way.”

“I will.” Remus nodded. “Anyway, why are you at a place like this?”

“Oh.” Shana blushed. “I'm...bisexual. My parents would never be okay with it. So I come here. I feel normal. And you?”

“Oh.” Remus rubbed the back of his neck. “I don't know. I...”

I can't tell her that I came here to apologize for a deal gone bad. What do I say? I didn't come to meet anyone.

“You like girls?” Shana whispered. “And boys?”

Remus slowly nodded.

“They're both attractive?” Shana asked.

“Yeah.” Remus felt his cheeks grow hot.

“You're bi, like me.” Shana smiled. “Good too, otherwise you'd have to explain to me why you've kissed both me and your friend.”

“You remember the kiss?” Remus asked.

“Of course.” Shana giggled. “It was right before you left. I didn't want you to leave without kissing you first.”

“It was an amazing kiss.” Remus whispered.

“I thought so too.” Shana smiled. Her phone began to buzz and she grew wide eyed. “Oh no, it's ten already!”

Remus checked his phone. Ten flashed on the screen.

“Yeah.” Remus answered. “What's the matter?”

“I have to go home, damn it.” Shana was messing with her phone. “My parents didn't know that I'd snuck out. Quick, give me your number and I'll text you.”

She shoved her phone into Remus's hands. He quickly typed in his number.

“Thanks.” She started running away. “I'll talk to you soon! I promise!”

*

“You met her in your coma?” Marie was marching beside her brother. “You never told me that you met someone!”

“I didn't think I'd ever see her again, Marie.” Remus was staring at his phone. He was waiting for a text.

Damn it, why didn't I get her number? What's wrong with me? She'll never text me. Eric completely f****d up my chances. Why did he do that? Not everyone wants to be his customer. Not everyone does drugs. And he is targeting those poor kids. They're all like me, scared and just wanting to belong. Doesn't he understand that? He was hard. If he were straight, he wouldn't have kissed me that way.

“She was really cute too!” Marie squealed. “You two are really cute together!”

“I don't think she's going to text me, Marie.” Remus sighed. “Eric kind of pissed her off.”

“Speaking of which,” Marie began walking backward. “what was that? You kissed him! And he kissed you! That was amazing!”

“I thought that he was going to stab me.” Remus whispered. “I wasn't about to die without feeling those lips. I only did it because I thought I was going to die, Marie.”

“Still, amazing.” Marie huffed before she turned back around. “So, are you going to talk to him about it?”

“Maybe.” Remus answered. “Honestly, I don't know what I'm supposed to say.”

“That you love him and that Shana girl.” Marie suggested. “That you want both of them to take your virginity.”

“Only one of them can have it, Marie. You're only a virgin once.” Remus rolled his eyes.

“I don't know, Remy.” Marie shook her head. “You could have virginity for both a girl and boy.”

“You're so weird.” Remus muttered. “Now quit talking this way. Be my little sis again.”

“Remus, I may have died at three but I'll always be your big sister.” Marie smiled. “Besides, you need someone to talk to about this.”

“Well, it won't be you.” Remus muttered.

“Eric then?” Marie suggested.

“f**k no.” Remus responded.

“P?” Marie asked.

“She wouldn't understand about the Eric thing.” Remus sighed. “I'm on my own, sis.”

*

Remus was tackled before he got into the house. Eric pinned him to the ground, wearing a devilish grin.

“Hey.” He chuckled. “What'd ya do with that girl?”

“Nothing. She was some chick I met at that place.” Remus answered. “You were being really hard on her.”

“I wanted you to hurry.” Eric whispered. “We have plenty to talk about. How'd you know?”

“Know?” Remus asked.

“That I wanted to kiss you.” Eric answered. “How could you tell?”

“I just winged it.” Remus attempted a shrug. “Can you get off me now please?”

“No fun.” Eric hopped off of Remus and sat beside him. He looked down at the grass.

“I've been wanting to talk to you forever.” Eric whispered. “I just...I wasn't completely sure that you were bisexual. It seemed obvious, but you never really know.”

“Forever?” Remus asked. It was obvious...

“Remember the night I found you?” Eric asked. “When your father tried to kill you?”

“I'll never forget it.” Remus whispered. “You saved my life.”

“Well, that night I was going to...I came over so that I could have s*x with you.” Eric began to blush. “I was going to have s*x with you and then ask you to come with me. I wanted you to run away with us...me.”

Sex?...with me? He was going to...sleep with me...

“Wha?” Remus couldn't think of anything to say.

Eric didn't look at him. He was as silent as Remus.

“Well, that's awkward.” Marie whispered.

So that's why he came over. I thought it was just because he wanted to say goodbye. He never acted like he was interested in me...or guys in general. Maybe he's pulling my leg...maybe he didn't like the kiss. No, he was clawing at me. He definitely wanted me.

“I won't say that I love you.” Eric whispered. “Because I honestly don't know what love is. But I know that I really do care about you, in so many ways. I want to be inside you.”

Eric fell back on the grass. “But you know that we can't do that, huh?” Eric looked up at Remus. It looked as though he was about to cry. “You know that it isn't safe, right? We can't be together. You saw what D did and that was just a stranger. Let alone one of us.” Eric slowly rubbed Remus's back. “I wish we could, and maybe someday we will, but we can't do this. As for now, we should just stick with girls. I'm sorry.”

He got up and walked inside. Remus sat in the grass, practically holding his breath.

What just happened?

*

Hey, it's Shana. Remus stared at his phone. It'd rang a couple of minutes ago and now Remus was frozen.

He hadn't slept at all that night. He was still confused about what Eric said.

I wanted to have s*x with you but we should just stick with girls? Well, here's a girl. What do I do? Should I just forget our kiss? I was a fool to ever think we could be together.

Hey. Remus replied.

What are you up to? Shana's text was almost immediate.

Just laying on my bed. You?

Just woke up. Luckily my parents didn't notice that I was missing. Do you wanna do something?

Remus sat up. She wants to do something.

What'd you have in mind?

I don't know. I wanna talk to you again, like we used to. I know this place. It's really quiet. We won't be bothered.

Sure. Where should we meet?

At the meeting place. It's pretty empty on Saturdays and no one should be there during the day anyway.

Okay. When do you want to meet?

Is right now okay? It's only twenty minutes from my house.

Yeah. I'll see ya soon.

Remus ran to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, put on deodorant, brushed his hair.

I've got a date...He looked at his dull eyes. His hair was a lighter color now and much more full of life, but his eyes always looked dead and his skin was pale. I look like complete s**t.

He'd been eating on the daily, bathing regularly and had been taken care of. But his coma didn't help his condition and just a month of living right wouldn't make him completely healthy. He knew all too well that he may never be truly healthy.

He glanced into the bedroom. Eric and Haley were still fast asleep. Eric lay with no shirt, his six pack exposed. I guess I'll just go with a girl then.

Remus ran out the door.

Be back later. Went to hang with a friend. It's a girl, talk to you later P. I may have a lot to talk about. Tell Eric not to worry. Remus sent a quick text to P.

He raced for the meeting place. It was a good half hour walk and he didn't want to leave Shana waiting. He felt his inhaler bouncing around in his pocket. If he had an attack from the running, then he might actually be okay.

*

He leaned on his knees and gasped. “Never...running...again...” He huffed. He glanced up and searched for Shana. Did I beat her here?

He sat in front of the building and closed his eyes.

One breath...two breaths...three...

He slowly breathed in and out.

“Hey.” Shana appeared from around the corner. “Are you alright? You're breathing pretty hard.” She rubbed his back. “Did you run here?”

“Didn't wanna...keep you waiting.” Remus smiled.

“I wouldn't have minded.” Shana kissed his cheek. “I've waited for you plenty.”

“Won't happen anymore.” Remus forced himself to stand. “So, where we going?”

“Follow me.” Shana grabbed his hand.

She laced her fingers through his. Her hand was soft and caused Remus's heart to race.

“Is it okay if I hold your hand?” She asked after about five minutes of walking.

“Of course!” Remus exclaimed. “It's nice.”

“Doesn't it feel right?” Shana asked. “Like when we would lay together and talk? I lived for those nights. When I had a shitty day, I'd go to sleep and see you. You'd talk with me all night. I never wanted to wake up. You made every shitty day worth it. That's why I thought you were a dream.”

“Well, I'm not.” Remus squeezed her hand. “And I'll never leave you again.”

*

The view was breathtaking. A hill that overlooked the city. They'd beat the sun and sunrise brought tears to Remus's eyes. The way the rays peeked over the buildings and lit the streets, eradicating the darkness of the night.

The rays lit up Shana's face. Her hair glittered with the rays of the sun.

She's so beautiful.

Shana rested her head on Remus's chest. Her hair smelled exactly like how he remembered. She was warm and her breasts squished against his chest.

Is it wrong of me to imagine her naked?

“Hey Evan, can I ask you something?” Shana whispered. She slid her hand under his shirt, her fingertips sending tingles through his body.

“Yeah?” Remus asked. He hated that she was calling him by his middle name. He wanted her to know him. He could tell her but he was afraid that she'd get mad.

“Do you remember when I stayed with you for like a week?” Shana asked.

“I guess.” Remus answered. “All the days rolled into one.”

“I'd tried to kill myself.” Shana blurted. “That's why I got to stay with you. When I said I was hearing voices...it was doctor's getting me to wake up.” Shana sighed. “I'd taking a lot of pills.”

Remus didn't know what to say. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Shana and held her closer. “It's okay.” Were the only words he could whisper. “It's okay now.”

*

Remus woke with Shana tracing her fingers on his chest. She'd tangle her finger in his shirt and then wiggle it back out. Remus watched her do this for a few minutes, admiring her thin fingers and the slight smile on her face.

“Sorry.” He yawned. “I didn't mean to fall asleep.”

“You're fine.” Shana smiled up at him. “I was just listening to your heartbeat. It's really soothing.”

“Yeah?” Remus grinned. “No one's ever said that before. My uh...doctor is always telling me that it's off rhythm.”

“Oh, it is.” Shana agreed. “But hearing the pattern is nice. Just knowing that your heartbeat is real, that you're real, it's amazing.

“I feel the same.” Remus whispered. “You are my light.”

“Thank you.” Shana whispered. “For not asking why.”

“Why what?” Remus asked.

“Why I tried to kill myself.” Shana answered. “Whenever people found out, they just kept asking why I did it. They didn't seem to understand that life just sucks for me and I just wanted to leave it.” Shana buried her face into Remus's chest. “But you didn't ask why. You completely understood. You understand everything.”

Shana rolled on top of Remus. Her body was firm against his and made Remus's blood rush.

“I haven't known you for very long, I know that,” her lips grew closer to Remus's. “But I think I love you.”

*

P sat with her legs on her bed. She was beaming and almost giddy.

“So, tell me about that girl!” P urged. “What's she like?”

Remus had spent the whole day with Shana. He'd bought her lunch and then dinner, fast food of course, and she had no objections to his money. They spent four hours on that hill, catching up and talking to each other.

She kept looking at her phone, however. Remus didn't understand why she kept answering texts. But, then again, he'd never been on a date so he didn't really know the rules.

“She's great.” Remus answered. “She understands me without me having to say a word. Her skin is so soft and she's so beautiful.”

“How'd you guys meet?” P asked.

“Oh, on the street.” Remus answered. “I just kinda bumped into her, we started talking and then she asked for my number.”

“That's awesome!” P exclaimed. “I'm proud of you! Getting out there and meeting someone...”

Her smile was genuine and looked so much like a proud mother's.

“She...she kissed me.” Remus began to blush. Every time he tasted her lips, he flew. The world seemed to slow down for them and the kiss didn't seem to have an end. He loved her kiss.

P covered her mouth with her hand. Tears began to fill her eyes. “Your first kiss?” She squealed then attacked him with a hug. “Awwww, Remy!”

He chuckled as P squeezed him. He didn't expect P to act this way.

She really is happy about me getting a girlfriend.

Girlfriend. Remus never thought that he'd ever be able to claim a person as his partner. But now he had Shana. She made his heart skip beats, in a good way. He was actually beginning to feel what real happiness was.

Sure Eric made him happy, on some level and Kevin could make him laugh. But Kevin made no moves toward Remus. Eric had determined that they couldn't date. Shana was the only one that embraced her feelings.

“How did it feel?” P asked. “What was it like?”

“Amazing.” Remus fell back on P's bed, stretching his arms out. “It was like flying.”

“Awwww.” P sighed. “That's so cute.”

“Yeah.” Remus was beginning to feel embarrassed. “P, can I ask you something?”

P looked down at Remus. “What?”

“What does...I mean...is it...what does it feel like to...”

P placed her hand on Remus's shoulder. “You're only thirteen, Remy.” She whispered. “Don't push it.”

“I'll be fourteen in two months.” Remus objected.

“Still, Remy.” P shook her head, her smile turning kind. “Wait until you're older. Trust me.”

“But Eric...”

“Remus, Eric was eleven when he lost his and it messed up a lot of things.” P explained. “As much as I love my brother, you really don't want to be like him.”

Eleven? That's so young.

“Then what do I do?” Remus asked. “If things escalate and she wants to...”

P sighed. “Tell her to wait, honey.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Wait until both of you are ready. Trust me, it's worth it.”

“Okay.” Remus whispered.

“Anyway,” P's smile grew excited again. “Tell me more about your day together!”

*

“D wondered where you were.” Eric sat on the couch. Remus didn't respond to Eric's texts when he was with Shana. D wanted them to sell but Remus was having too great a time.

“Sorry, what'd you tell him?” Remus asked.

“That you were sleeping off some pills.” Eric answered. “You can't do that again, though. D doesn't like when people don't show up. You know we can't f**k with him.”

“Language.” P walked into the room. “And whoever this D guy is, I don't like him. Eric, you should stay away from people like that. It's definitely not safe.”

“I'm fine, P.” Eric stated. “Just so long as someone doesn't back out again.”

“Eric, I don't like when you talk about that stuff.” P growled. “Especially in front of the kids. And don't pressure Evan into selling drugs if he doesn't want to. I could ground you, ya know?”

“You could try.” Eric mouthed off.

P stopped in front of him and glared at him. “You really wanna try me Eric? A mama bear protects her cubs. Little Eric and Ashley are not to hear about this stuff.”

“They're only toddlers.” Eric shrugged.

“And toddlers are the most observant.” P retorted. “Mouth off one more time and you won't be leaving this house for a month.”

“Sorry.” Eric looked down.

Wow. She's never backed him down before.

“Your sister's finally getting a backbone, kid.” Peter chuckled. “You won't be able to get away with murder forever.”

Eric stood. “Wanna go for a walk, Evan?”

Remus looked up at him. His heart fluttered at Eric's smile.

“Where to?” He asked.

“Just a walk around town.” Eric answered. “It'll be fun. That okay, mom?”

P glared at her brother from in the kitchen. She looked at the clock and sighed. “You have an hour.”

Eric threw on two coats then grabbed Remus. Remus was barely able to grab his coat before Eric pulled him out the door.

Eric pinned Remus against the apartment. Eric pressed his body against him. “I've been wanting to do this since yesterday.”

His lips pressed against Remus's. Once again, there was a hunger in Eric's kiss. He clawed at Remus, keeping their bodies close. He bit Remus's bottom lip.

Oh f**k, Eric. Why you gotta do this now? You said we can't date. Why are you purposely torturing me?

“Eric.” Remus pushed him back. “Stop.”

Eric ceased almost immediately but he didn't back away. Remus could almost feel every ab on Eric.

“Stop?” Eric tilted his head. “Aren't you having fun?”

“Eric, I have a girlfriend.” Remus whispered. “I can't kiss you. Besides, you were the one that said we should stick to girls.”

Eric backed away. “Girlfriend.” His voice was flat. “You have a girlfriend? That girl from yesterday? You've known each other for a day. And I know what I said, but that doesn't mean we can't fool around.”

“You wouldn't understand. I'm not fooling around while I've got a girl.” Remus shook his head. “You said we were walking. Let's walk.”

“Whatever man.” Eric sighed. “She just seems like a slut now. Dating someone she just met.”

“Shut up, Eric.” Remus growled. “You don't know her so shut up.”

Eric look stunned at Remus. “Looks like both you and P found balls.” He chuckled, a slight smile taking his face. “Alright, we'll just walk.” He pinned Remus one last time and placed his lips beside Remus's right ear. “But you will be mine someday.”

Remus shivered. Eric's voice was seductive and held some sort of promise within it.

Eric then began to walk. Remus stood still for a few seconds until he finally gained his senses.

What the hell was that? Was he threatening me? Was he promising me? And how? We'll never leave the game.

It was a chilly night. Eric shouldn't have been walking but he didn't seem to care much. Remus couldn't help but stare at Eric. This boy whom he'd known since he was twelve, his best friend, savior and brother in deals. He loved him for two years, fantasized about his lips and feeling his body. Now, Remus has the opportunity but his heart was stolen by someone else.

We can't date but you'll sleep with me? I don't get you, Eric. I really don't.

“That was very nice.” Marie skipped beside her brother. “Good job standing up to him.”

Remus nodded at his sister.

“Kevin was asking about you.” Eric said. “He wanted to know where you were and if you were okay. Kid's like your puppy.”

“I should go see him.” Remus stated. “Don't want that kid freaking out in front of D. Especially not with all the stuff he already knows.”

“You really wanna go?” Eric asked. “They're at D's. Why don't you just text him?”

“I ain't got his number.” Remus shrugged. “I never really thought that it was important.”

“Probably a smart idea.” Eric glanced over his shoulder. “Will you catch up? And if he'd ever get arrested, the cops could look at his phone and trace your number back to us. So yeah, best to not have his number.”

“I didn't know that.” Remus whispered, jogging a bit to catch up with Eric.

“What?” Eric asked, grinning at Remus.

“That the cops can track my number.” Remus answered.

Eric chuckled. “Are you serious? If you weren't living with us, I wouldn't even have your number. Why do you think I never had Haley's?”

“Gee, thanks.” Remus laughed. “Don't trust me?”

“It's not that.” Eric winked at him. “I just don't trust that people can stay out of trouble for so long. You wouldn't believe how many times I've been in trouble, but I was never caught.” Eric closed his eyes. “My luck will eventually run out and I don't plan on taking anyone with me.”

If he's so sure he'll get caught then why don't he stop? It's not like we couldn't move. D wouldn't be able to find us.

“You won't get caught.” Remus reassured him. “We'll just move if ya do.”

“Peter would complain.” Eric chuckled. “Like always.”

“Yeah.” Remus nodded.

The night reminded Remus of when he first walked the city with Eric. He was so glad to be out of the house and away from Haley's whining.

Haley. Eric never considered her as a girlfriend but what will she think if she finds out that we kissed? Doesn't Eric care if he hurts her? Wasn't that why he had her run away with him? To save her from pain?

“Hey Eric?” Remus elbowed Eric.

“Yeah?” Eric asked.

“Why don't you love Haley?” Remus stopped, prompting Eric to stop too. “You helped her run away. You wanted to save her, right? So why is it so easy for you to forget her? To kiss me and not care? Don't you love her? Don't you want her?”

“Gah.” Eric stretched. “It's complicated, alright? She...she just...” Eric closed his eyes. “She's manipulative, didn't you notice? Giving you pills when she knew that we wanted you sober while you healed. Telling me that she was going to kill herself if she didn't live with me. Moving in, just so she could try to have a hold on my life. If she knew half the things I do.” Eric shook his head. “I f**k her, yeah but that's all she's good for. She tries to get me to do what she wants by f*****g with my head. Get it? She's dangerous. Don't f**k with her.”

“Okay.” Remus nodded.

“Besides,” Eric slid his arm around Remus. “Don't I deserve to have what I want?” He nibbled Remus's ear and then backed away. “By the way, make sure you know everything about your little girlfriend.”

“Eric, I said to drop it.” Remus growled.

“Oh calm down.” Eric put his hands up in defense. “But you know how she says that she doesn't do pills? Well, she's bought from me before. When you were in your coma. I needed to make money still and P had taken the week off. I found that meeting place and Shana stepped up right away. Wanted me to help her feel better but didn't have any money,” Eric was staring into Remus's eyes with a cold truth. “We got high together and, as payment, she agreed to s*x. Then she disappeared for almost two weeks and came back. She never wanted me or the pills again.” Eric began to walk away, leaving Remus stunned. “Like I said, make sure that you actually know her.”

“I was so confused. In just twenty-four hours I'd found my light in the darkness and was dating her. I got to kiss my best friend twice but was left confused each time. I learned that my best friend had slept with Shana...and she didn't tell me. It did explain why they talked to each other with such hatred. I couldn't believe that she hadn't told me. Especially when she learned that Eric was the friend I told her about. And the pills that she tried to die with were his...Eric nearly killed the girl I'd fallen in love with. That was the most confusing day of my life and it would only get more complicated from there.”