Love Me Then, Love Me Now

“Just pick up the damn phone!” I thought to myself as I got his voicemail again. I don’t understand what happened. Just yesterday, I came home from work and my husband Jerry rushed me at the door. He grabbed and pulled me close and kissed me with such passion that I melted instantly. I took a step back and looked up at him and asked him with a small chuckle, “Hi honey, is everything ok? Not that I’m complaining.” He looked me deep in my eyes and said, “I need you. Right now. I couldn’t wait until you got home.” He grabbed me and kissed me again. I let myself fall into his arms and reciprocated the passion I felt behind his kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me if that was even possible. He pushed me up against the wall and began kissing my neck and telling me how beautiful I was and how he needed me right then and there. He picked me up and carried me to our bedroom and gently dropped me on the bed. He slowly took off my clothes. He was admiring every inch of my skin that he slowly exposed like it was the first time he ever saw it. When I was completely naked before him, he slowly undressed for me. That way that I like because I get to see every inch of him and oh was he a sight to see. Tall at 6’3, dark brown hair cut into a buzz cut. Goatee that shaped his chocolate face so right that he could have been a portrait. Six pac without a blemish in sight. Tatted from neck to hips. Arms big enough to carry myself like I was the lightest leaf, and trust me, I was not. I myself stand at 5’11 as tallness runs in my family. I was more on the chunky side with just past the shoulder length black hair. I had scars everywhere from bruises I had gotten as a kid to the self- inflicted ones I caused as I got older. I always thought that there was no way a man like him would ever go for someone like me. But the minute we met, he told me ai was beautiful and has kissed every scar and stretch mark since then. When he was finally naked, he said, “ I am going to bring you so much pleasure, you’re going to cry as you scream my name.” I looked up at him, mesmerized wondering what had gotten into him that night. He was always a passionate lover and I never had any complaints in the bedroom, but tonight, I could see the hunger in his eyes. The desire in his eyes was so strong that I couldn’t look away as he climbed into our bed and grabbed me to kiss me again. I moaned into his mouth as he snaked his tongue to meet mine. He slid his hands down my body til he reached my sweet spot in the middle. I felt him gently start to rub my c**t in a slow circular motion and I began to pant with pleasure as I felt my juices start to pool out of me. “Look how wet you are for me already my love,” he said as he kept his circular motion. He kissed down my neck and suckled the spot he knew drove me crazy. I moaned again and grabbed his neck as he left a hickey on mine. He moved to my breast where my n*****s were as hard as steel. He wrapped his lips around one and gently nibbled while swirling his tongue round and round while he used his other hand to keep circling my c**t. He moved onto the other breast, as not to leave that one feeling left out. I threw my head back in pleasure as I felt myself tensing up from his mouth and fingers. “Not yet, baby. Not yet.” He pulled his hand away and I groaned from the loss of his touch. “Take me please baby. I am ready for you,” I begged. He laid me back and settled himself on top of me as he positioned himself between my legs, using his knees to push my thighs further apart. He began kissing me again, making his way down my body, past my breast, down past my belly button where he stopped only briefly to flick it with his tongue until he found my sweet spot. He put his mouth on me and I gasped as the pleasure raced through my body. He devoured me until I couldn’t contain my orgasam. I let out a cry as I screamed his name as the orgasm rolled through my body. “That’s right baby, give it to me,” he said as he licked up every drop. He came back up to me and kissed me passionately as he thrust himself into me. I gasped as I felt him fill me up in one swift motion. He hugged me around the waist as he pummeled inside of me. I moaned and moaned as I felt the pleasure building up in my body again and I knew that I would orgasm soon. He began to thrust harder and grunting in my ear and I knew that he was as close as I was. “c*m with me baby,” he said through gritted teeth. “c*m with me now.” I screamed out his name as I orgasmed even harder than the first time. I felt him thrust one last time as he released himself inside of me. The orgasm was so intense that I was actually brought to tears. He looked at me and wiped them away and kissed me softly. He pulled out of me and laid down etc to me and pulled me to him. “You know I love you right?” He asked as I settled into his side, already falling asleep from the amazing s*x we’d just had. “Of course I know you love me. Are you sure you’re ok honey?” I asked him again, this time with a little concern in my voice. He kissed me gently on my forehead and said that everything was fine. Not too long later, we were both asleep. But that was last night. I woke up this morning and he was gone. I didn’t think anything of it at first, as he was always out early for work. But usually he would take my call even on his way in. He didn’t answer this morning and it's now midnight and I still have not heard from him. I called him again just to get his voicemail again. I left another message saying that I’d hoped that he was ok and that he would give me a call soon. My heart sank in my chest as I felt myself getting uneasy. What if something had happened to him? What if he was somewhere hurting and he couldn’t reach his phone. Everything in me was trying to stop the mirage of bad thoughts that was plaguing my mind. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine and downed it one one gulp and poured myself another. I felt a little calmer after the first glass and began sipping on the second glass when I heard his key in the door. He walked in with his head down and threw his keys and coat on the coach. I rushed over to him and grabbed his face, checking him over. “Are you ok? I was so worried when you weren’t answering your phone? Is everything ok?” My words trailed off as I looked in eyes and saw nothing. He’s never looked at me like that before. “What’s going on,” I asked. He pulled away and walked to the liquor rack and pulled himself a shot of whiskey. It was his go to drink when he was dealing with something stressful. Now I was really concerned. I walked up and hugged him from behind and said, “ Talk to me honey. Tell me what’s happened.” He turned around and looked down at me and said, “ I want a divorce.” I stepped back shocked. I sputtered and stuttered until I could finally say, “What? You’re joking right?” He downed his whiskey and poured another and said, “No, I am not joking. I want a divorce.” I walked over to the couch and sank down on it with my head going. 100 miles per hour as I was trying to make sense of what he’d just said. “I don’t understand. What happened? Why now? We’ve been together for 8 years. What’s changed. We were just so happy last night. What’s changed between then and now?” I looked up at him with tears streaming down my face. “ I don’t understand where this is coming from. You just made love to me last night and now you want a divorce? This isn’t making any sense. What did I do?” He sighed and said, “ I don’t have to explain myself to you. I want a divorce and that’s final. I’ll have the papers drawn up tomorrow and we can have everything finalized and settled within the next 6 weeks. Don’t worry, I'll make sure you’re fine after the divorce. You can have the house, and the cars, and a very nice settlement payout. I'll have the papers drawn up and you can look them over. Get a lawyer if you feel the need. This is my final decision.” He walked over to the couch and picked up his coat and keys and began walking to the door. I sprang up from the couch and shouted at him, “So that’s it? Eight years gone down the drain just like that? You don’t have to explain yourself?! Like to hell you don’t. I am your WIFE. You could at least give me an explanation on why you suddenly want to end our marriage. Is it me? Do I make you unhappy? Do I not do it for you anymore? I don't understand what’s happening. I need you to talk to me.” I walked over to him and grabbed his hands with tears streaming down my face. “ Honey, please just tell me what’s going on. I am sure we can fix it. We’ve gotten through everything else before. WHat’s different this time?” He pushed me away and glared at me. “The difference this time is that I don’t love you anymore. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I can’t stand to look at you. I hate having to come home to you everyday. I am no longer happy here and I want a divorce. Please don’t make this hard.” I clutched my chest and stared at him in disbelief. For a second, I saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes. But just as fast as I saw it, it was gone. Back to the nothing that was there when he first walked in. I couldn’t bring myself to speak as I watched him sigh and walk out the door. I sank to the floor as I felt my heart breaking over and over as I replayed his words in my head. I curled up on the floor and cried and cried until I fell asleep.