Because I Can

There are two sides to every story. This is neither the right side nor the wrong side, but my God-fearing truth. I will say things that will hurt some people but hear me out, I will explain everything. I am not strong because I chose to be a silent victim of domestic violence. I am not weak because I couldn't and still cannot forget the emotional pain. I chose to keep my chin up and carry on, as I was taught, while the very same were verbally hurting me almost daily. I chose to stay silent and put on the brave face that everyone speaks about. I chose to always turn the other cheek and let things unravel alone. My faith isn't less because I chose to walk through the pain and do nothing about it. I know justice is not always served. Not because there are right and wrong sides, but because some things can be just left alone. So, this is my side of the story... Because I Can speak out. In my line of work, I meet people and spend one-on-one time with them, get to chat and tell eachothers' stories. I love it. The best kind of therapy. For the longest time I used to say "one day, perhaps when I'm old and retired, I will write a book about my life". A long time ago, ironically I don't remember who told me, they said - Why only then? You'll forget details if you don't write it now. I replied -because I will have time when I'm retired. But maybe that wasn't entirely true. Maybe in my subconscious I knew I wasn't ready to speak out. I worried about what people would think of me when they read my story. I worried about what my family would say, or maybe, never speak to me again. I worried about people's opinion of my family. That's all quite funny actually. I certainly don't care about being "disowned financially" lol I don't care for money. I have decided that I will speak out now just Because I Can. As a child I don't remember backchatting to my elders but I used to raise my shoulders as a sign of indifference, which my mom took for "because I can". Although that's not exactly what I meant, I understood that it is the simplest translation to the gesture. I never questioned or corrected it's meaning but I continued using that gesture until today. And today it does have the meaning of "whatever". If you know me, you should know that I care about doing nothing less than what makes me happy, unapologetically. Then you will know that my story cannot be boring and cannot be one dimensional. Now it is my time to free myself from my past. Because I Can.