Banging The Bride-1
BANGING THE BRIDE
Confession: my husband Guy and I only joined the yoga studio because we wanted to f**k Meg. She was exactly my type: blonde hair and blue eyes, fair skin and a very slim body - toned to perfection by her years of yoga, gymnastics and ballet. Meg was the owner and we had been going very regularly - wearing her down with our mixture of kindness, Guy's horrible dad jokes and my occasionally suggestive asides.
What we didn’t know was that Meg would soon be engaged to Cameron.
“He’s a total f*****g prick,” I said angrily as I threw my yoga mat in the back seat of our car after class one afternoon.
We had just bumped into Cameron for the first time as we were leaving class. Meg introduced him as her boyfriend Cam.
Cam! I thought. The worst f*****g guys in the world have annoying names like Cameron that they shorten to be Cam.
Guy and I drove home plotting our next move.
“It sucks she has a boyfriend,” I said.
“That’s never stopped you before,” Guy replied as we thought back to the hundreds of women we had secretly brought into our bed over the years - many of which had boyfriends, partners or even spouses.
“Well, it just makes things more.” My voice trailed off.
“Difficult?” he asked.
“Complicated,” I said.
“I thought you liked a challenge,” Guy replied.
“I guess I do - in some cases. I don’t know though. I got really bad vibes from Cam. He just seems like a total f*****g prick.” I said.
“Just focus on what you want,” Guy replied. “Thoughts become things.”
I loved my husband so much, for moments just like this. His reply was so simple, so straightforward, almost cliche. Thoughts become things. He was right, of course, but I just needed to be reminded. If I set my thoughts on f*****g Meg. then, inevitably, the Universe would bring into alignment the very thing I wanted. Guy was right, it was simple. f**k Cameron, focus on Meg, I thought to myself.
Now, I know what you may be thinking: you and Guy are weird! Well, not really, after all these years we are in complete alignment with each other: no secrets, no taboos, just pure love. Transparency. Honesty. Passion.
You see, we are high school sweethearts. We met in tenth grade. Guy and I married shortly after graduating and have been best friends ever since. He is my soulmate.
We tell each other everything. And I do mean everything!
For example, Guy was the one that had first heard about Spirit Yoga. He was leaving a coffeeshop and saw a postcard on the community bulletin board. It was a picture of Meg, the studio owner, doing a very intense looking yoga pose. More importantly, he knew I would find Meg very, very fuckable. And, boy, was he right about that. This girl was a total smokeshow!
He surprised me with an unlimited weekly membership and after going nearly every day, we decided to become full time members. It was located just a block from the local college campus and was within walking distance from our house.
Shockingly, I found myself actually enjoying yoga. My thirty-something back certainly appreciated the effects of the gentle stretches from Meg’s vinyasa yoga sequences. Of course, I was happy to be going to Spirit Yoga for another reason too: I would get so horny being around all the college-aged young women in their tight fitting sports bras and slinky, see-through yoga pants that Guy and I would often f**k as soon as we got home from class. Guy also found that a daily yoga practice gave him more stamina and he was able to last even longer in bed. Mommy likey!
We talk openly about the girls I like at the studio. In fact, two weeks ago we were behind quite a lovely brunette girl that couldn’t be more than nineteen-years-old.
I knew I wanted us to f**k Ashley the moment she bounced into class and placed her yoga mat and tight ass directly in front of me.
Guy winked at me several times throughout class. In fact, he later confessed that during shavasana, he found himself thinking about what my face would look like buried in between Ashley’s legs.
Oh how I want to taste you: young, tight, perfect Ashley. I know I can make this happen. Despite our age difference, I still look incredibly youthful - I easily pass for my early to mid twenties. I attribute this to my Jamaican and Dutch mixed-race heritage. Of course, my daily routine of pilates, squats, jogging and being a vegan helps quite a bit.
After class that day, I made casual conversation with Ashley. I had decided to go for it, I was flirting with Ash, big time. I knew my cute smile and beautiful brown skin were no match for her. Ashley was a hippie, a searcher, someone yearning for answers about the mysteries of life. She was playful, curious, hungry for adventure. Over the years, I've learned to play-up my “exotic” looks to snag girls like her. I usually dress myself in ambiguous foreign prints that could be Jamaican, Indian or even Asian and I always wear a heart-shaped, rainbow Pride necklace just to let these young ladies know the kind of girl I am. Oh, and I forgot to tell you...Guy and I both stopped wearing our wedding rings ages ago.
“Take off your wedding ring, Guy,” I ordered one day. “I think they are the ultimate p***y blockers.”
Guy nearly spit his coffee out as he burst into laughter.
“Ok,” Guy replied as he slid his ring off and placed it in my hand.
“Let’s see if we can score more p***y without these!” I said, slipping my ring off and placing both of them in our kitchen’s “junk drawer”. After so many years together Guy had learned to roll with the punches. I can be blunt, and he knows it. When I tell him to cast off his wedding ring so we can score more p***y, he just goes with it. Guy's one laid back dude.
He watched as I made small talk with Ashley - occasionally running my finger down the young girl’s arm or back, cracking a wicked half-smile or playfully circling one of my own exotic jet black curls in my hand. I continued flirting, occasionally biting the end of her own hair as Ashley continued talking about her star sign and how Mercury being in retrograde was affecting her.
“Hey, Guy, this is Ashley,” I said, bringing my hubby into the post-yoga class conversation.
“She’s going to come over and borrow my copy of Iyengar’s Light On Yoga,” I added.
“Oh, awesome,” Guy said, extending his hand to shake Ashley’s. His eyes locked on hers. He added, “that’s a great book - you’ll love it!”
Making sure Ashley didn’t see, I rolled my eyes at Guy - knowing full well he had never read the book and was only trying to impress yet another hot young girl we were trying to f**k. We're so much alike, sometimes it's scary.
Ashley, Guy and I walked home from the yoga studio. Guy pretended to be uninterested in us and stayed nearly a half a block behind giving me a chance to make small talk with Ash, and giving himself an opportunity to watch our asses in our tight fitting yoga pants. Like I said, we're so much alike, sometimes it's scary.
When we got back to our place, I began to show Ashley around our small house which was mostly filled with esoteric philosophy books, jazz biographies, old instruments and photography equipment. We are professional musicians, so our house is quite artsy and there’s always something for a stranger to find interest in.
As I was busy working on Ashley, Guy knew the best thing he could do was make us some tea. As he was busy in the kitchen, I was telling Ashley about an adventure we had from our last Asian tour, then showing her a picture of our concert in India, pausing to ask the young girl if she’s ever been overseas.
In addition to realizing long ago that our rings were indeed p***y blockers, we also realized that what young girls really want is a well-traveled, worldly older couple. A duo that they can tell their girlfriends about, by saying something like “hashtag couple goals”. Guy and I did our best to be that couple. Of course, that’s pretty much who we are, we just try to emphasize it a bit.
“I made you guys some chai,” Guy said, giving us each a cup.
“I’m going to go upstairs and take a shower,” he said as he kissed me on the cheek, adding, “It was nice meeting you, Ashley - I’m sure I’ll see you at class again sometime.”
“Oh, you too Guy! I love your house!” said Ashley.
As Guy walked upstairs I started searching for the book I had used as bait to bring the teen to our house.
Once upstairs, Guy put an old Chet Baker record on the turntable knowing that I would appreciate a bit of atmosphere coming from upstairs.
I knew my husband was in the shower probably thinking about where I was at with Ashley - hoping to god I was getting close to where we wanted her. I pictured my husband thinking about the teen’s toned ass that was just inches from my face for most of the yoga class that day. Guy knew exactly what I would like to do to Ashely in that position. I was getting wet thinking about Guy getting hard. I imagined he was using the bar of soap to slowly masturbate in the shower as he thought about Ashley and I downstairs.
Save yourself for later, cowboy! I said, sending Guy a mental message. He needed to realize that tonight he’d either be f*****g me or f*****g me and the teen we brought home from yoga class. Either way, I wanted as much of his c*m as I could get.
Within seconds of my mental message, I heard Guy turn off the shower. Amazing! I thought, relishing in our ability to communicate without words.
“That’s so cool that you guys get to travel all over and make music together!” Ashley said, bringing my mind back to the conversation I was having with her in real life, not the chat I was also having with my hubby in the ether.
I smiled thinking about all the girls that have said that to me before. We have this down to a f*****g system! I thought.
“The travel is great and all, but Guy is like my best friend so us spending time together is really the most fun!” I replied to Ashley.
“That’s so awesome,” Ashley whispered awestruck. I continued. “Guy’s so supportive too.”
Here we go, time to make my move!
“When I first came out I thought he’d totally freak, but he’s been so awesome about it,” I said, softly.
“Oh, are you gay?” asked Ashley.
“No, no, no, I’m bi. I could never live my life without d**k!” I laughed.
I thought I heard Ashley laugh, a nervous little giggle, but I wasn’t sure. Silence for a few moments.
Ashley’s voice finally cut through the silence. “How does it work then? I mean if you’re bi, but you guys are married.”
Bingo! We’ve officially gotten her! I laid back grateful as f**k for the night I was about to have with my husband and this hot, young girl.
“Oh, it’s not even a thing, Guy and I tell each other everything,” I explained to Ashley, adding, “we’re just totally open with each other. If I meet a girl at a bar or on the road or at the gym or something.”
I slightly accented the word “gym” to covertly implant the idea of meeting at a “workout space” - such as a yoga studio - making the situation comfortable and commonplace, so Ashely would let down her guard and give in to her passions.
I continued: “If I meet someone I like, I go for it, no secrets.”
“And I mean, he doesn't, like, mind?” asked a dumbfounded Ashley.
“No, of course not, we’re soulmates! But Guy only has half of what I’m looking for - sometimes we have to bring in someone to help fulfill all my needs.”
I knew that saying “all my needs” had to be accented by a gentle rub on Ashley’s knee or upper thigh.
More silence. Our eyes met and I could feel Ashley's soul melting with mine...she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. My spirit was working to let her know she was safe to just let go, to give in, to fall into the abyss of her secret erotic desires.