The Beta’s Alpha Mate

Seven

Julien’s POV

I was intensely focused on the football game on the screen, barely listening to what Grayson was saying. I had been staring at him all night and I was determined to kiss him. His lips were just calling out to me, so pink and soft. So different than girls I’ve kissed, but beautiful in a different way.

“Ha! I win!” I shouted as he shook his head at me.

“Grayson… I won,” I reminded him, and I leaned toward him, trying to hide the excitement from my face.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t rub it in, man,” he replied.

Was he playing hard to get? I smirked at him. “We had a deal.”

Oh goddess. He didn’t remember? He looked like one of those memes of people doing mental calculations in his head. I just continued to nervously smile at him until I came up with a plan. I pretended to teasingly give him a hint, but in reality, I just couldn’t bring myself to say the most important words out loud.

“You win, I buy dinner. I win, and...” I trailed off, letting him fill in the blank. I couldn’t finish the sentence.

His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. “That was yesterday! That doesn’t count today.”

Did he not want to touch me? He was attracted to men, was I not his type? Not attractive enough? Not… good enough? My heart pinged at the idea that even if I had just embraced him as my mate from the start, he wouldn’t have wanted me.

Still, I hid my doubts and kept on pushing my luck. “We didn’t specify when that bet ended. I won, it’s only fair.”

His angry response startled me. “Don’t mess with me, man, come on. Don’t be weird.”

I frowned. Why did everything go wrong? He’s had a lot of men as partners, and I’m already his best friend - so it was just my… appearance? Ugh. Or did he think I’d be bad in bed? He might be right. That part was a lot more nerve wracking for me than him, seeing as he’s been dating other guys since we were young. I’d never even looked at another guy. Well, that’s not really accurate, but I mean, I’d never acted on it. At least, not in real life. Dreams don’t count you can’t control that. Porn shouldn’t count either; plenty of people watch different types of porn. And fantasizing about your objectively attractive gay best friend occasionally is not wrong, anyone would do the same thing.

Right? I ask Juno.

I wouldn’t know, Julien, I’m a wolf, he said, sounding tired.

Stupid mate bond, I think, for the thousandth time. Then I remembered I was still arguing with Grayson about whether or not I was being truthful about my interest in guys.

He shook his head. “I still wouldn’t mind, if you’re serious, it’s jus-l”

Ahh, yes, that was the consent I needed. “Good,” I interrupted.

I leaned forward and kissed him, softly at first, but soon the heat running through me started to overwhelm me. f**k, I hadn’t expected to want him this much right away. I thought we could ease in, but my body had other ideas. I bit his bottom lip and felt him softly moan and shudder underneath me. I was on fire. I needed him to make that sound again. How did I get him to make that sound? I tugged on his hair and wrapped an arm around him to yank him to the bed so we could lie down next to each other. I never wanted to stop this. How was I missing out on this for so many years?

Mark him, Juno demanded.

No, he has to know we’re mates first and choose to be marked! I responded. I lightly ran my nails down Grayson’s arm, hoping for another one of his sweet moans. I could feel how hard he was, grinding against me, desperate. Just like I was.

“f**k, Juls,” he rasped between kisses, digging his fingertips into my hip. His touches felt incredible, but hearing him say my name like that, it was too much.

Mark mate, Juno said, surging forward, and I felt my canines extending.

I shoved my wolf back with all my might as I turned my head to avoid marking him, but we still bit down hard on Grayson’s throat, catching the soft spot of his collarbone. He groaned, closing his beautiful green eyes, and I took the opportunity to inspect for damage. I hadn’t hurt him, he was fine, but he would have a bruise.

Knowing I might be playing with fire, I brushed my lips against his ear. “Grayson,” I growled quietly. I was experimenting. I wanted to see if I affected him the way he affected me.

Luckily for me, it seemed to work. He was moving everywhere all at once, kissing me, sliding his hand under my shirt. My stomach clenched in anticipation of his soft caresses. He softly bit and licked my marking spot, which sent me into another dimension. I hissed in pleasure, and was rewarded with more bites. All I wanted was this man, forever, in my bed, doing this. I wanted to touch the rest of his body, to have him touch mine. To kiss and lick and worship each other from head to toe. I just wanted to please him in every way. I needed to feel him inside of me.

My stomach clenched again as I finished my inner monologue. Oh no. Oh no. Those weren’t thoughts fitting for an Alpha. And he was my pack member first, and my mate second, so he needed to respect me, let me give the orders, make the decisions. Failing to uphold the hierarchy could endanger our whole pack.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with the weight of my thoughts, so I gave him one last kiss and moved as far away from him as possible to regain my senses.

“I better get back to my room, it’s getting late,” I told him. He looked surprised and maybe… hurt? Or that could be me reading too much into things. At any rate, I said goodnight, and gently closed the door. I walked a few feet away and leaned against the wall, sliding down until I sat on the ground.

Fuck, f**k, f**k, I chanted. Why do I always do the wrong thing?

If you don’t mark him, someone else will, Juno growled.

Yes, thank you, wolf. I understand. But I can’t be Alpha of the pack and be the wife of our relationship, I snapped.

Why? Juno asked.

That’s not how it works! I reply, agitated with his obliviousness.

But, if you and Grayson are mates, you’ll both be Alphas, he said. So it won’t matter. Also, I might be a wolf, but I’m 100% positive one of you won’t have to pretend to be a wife. You can just both be yourselves.

Damn it, Juno, where was this logic when I was freaking out 15 minutes ago? I whined.

Someone had their block up, i***t. You should just listen to me when it comes to matters of your mate. You only make it worse when you’re alone with him, my wolf correctly pointed out.

I’m going to go talk to him, I said. I stood up, ready to march over to Grayson’s room and confess how I feel. But as I did, I got a glimpse of a familiar boy with big chocolate brown eyes and shoulder-length brown hair turning down the hallway. I instinctively whirled around and punched the wall, hard, ignoring the pain in my hand. It would heal. What were a few broken bones and some blood when your mate was about to f**k someone else for the fifth time in four days?

DAMN IT! I screamed internally, furious with everything, as I rushed back towards my suite. Furious with myself, for running from the mate bond in the first place. With Brea, for introducing Grayson to that asshole Bennett. With Daniel, for joining our pack instead of literally any other pack. With Grayson, for daring to touch anyone else. He was MINE. Why did he still want someone else?

I didn’t make it to my room before the mate bond pain started. It was all I could do to stagger to the closest guest room and shut the door. There was no point in turning the light on. Everything was dark for me right now anyway.

I gripped the sides of my body and curled up in a ball on the floor, letting the aches roll over me in waves while I cried. I didn’t even notice when the door opened, and a small figure slipped in.

“Julien, are you okay?” My sister’s small voice startled me back to reality. I raised my head slightly to see her. She looked worried, but calm, as always. “What’s wrong, big brother?”

I couldn’t speak, so I just shook my head, laying back down on the soft carpet. Keely was 17, and had always had a soft heart. Like Grayson, she was gifted with the power to heal, although she wouldn’t come into her full power until she turned 18.

“What’s going on, Juli?” She asked, using her nickname for me. She softly pulled my head into her lap and stroked my hair, brushing it out of my eyes. Her touch made me feel a little stronger, but I still just wanted to lay here and be miserable forever.

“Juli,” she said sternly. “Let me help. What hurts?” Keely reached down and gently wiped the tears away from the corners of my eyes, then pulled me upright so we could cuddle like we’ve done since we were kids.

“My heart, Keels. My heart hurts so much,” I whispered to her. She squeezed me tightly and I felt her gentle healing warmth course through me, restoring some of my energy.

“Keels, don’t tire yourself out,” I warned, pulling back and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Thank you, though. You’re the very best little sister I could ever want.”

We sat in silence for a while, her arms still wrapped around me for comfort, before she finally spoke.

“Tell me about it?” She asked. This girl. She was never easy to distract. Now that she knew I was upset, I might as well tell her. If anyone could be trusted, it was Keely.

So I started at the beginning - how we shifted and I felt the bond but somehow, someway, Grayson lost track of where I had been standing, and didn’t realize it was me, and I ran. How I only meant to delay it for a few hours to think, but then I felt him with someone else. How he got attacked by rogues, but I didn’t scent them because I’d blocked Juno from my mind after his whining drove me crazy. How the whole group called his mate a horrible person, and then he slept with Bennett again, and I had to drive home alone with my heart feeling shattered. How he’s been seeing Daniel every day, and the pain is getting worse each time.

And then I told her how Grayson and I kissed tonight, and I was sure, 100% sure, that there was never anything more I’ve ever wanted in my life than him. That he was perfect, and gorgeous, and fearless, and intelligent, and caring. That there’s no one I’d rather be with, or lead the pack with, or turn rogue with if we lived in the kind of pack that rejected couples like us. But I panicked and ran away and before I could get far, he’d already called in Daniel as a replacement, so he obviously doesn’t feel the same.

Keely let me tell the whole story, ignoring the fact that I cried through half of it, before she squeezed me in another tight hug. “I’m so sorry, Julien. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I know Grayson would listen to you if you tell him the truth. He’s loved you as a best friend since you were small. He isn’t going to throw that away over a misunderstanding. He’s in your pack, he knows you would never leave him to fend off rogues alone.”

“You didn’t hear his voice when he talked about it, Keels,” I whisper sadly. “He was so sure he was going to die. And it’s my fault. I’m the one who ran out there. I’m the one who put him in danger. No one should have been fighting rogues.”

“Big brother,” Keely said kindly. “You need to be nicer to yourself.”

She hugged me again, then stood up, offering her hand. “We’re going to go to bed now, and you’re staying in my room, because I don’t want to leave you alone. Come on, let’s go.”

I let her help me up from the floor. Maybe sleep would help heal just a tiny bit of my pain.