Being Imperfect

Letting myself get lost in the rhythm, my body starts to move smoothly to the music once again. It feels like this is the most natural thing it has ever done, like it is meant to dance. I look in the full-length mirror and see the person in front of me dancing and expressing herself in the way she loves most. I see her letting her true self out, I see the most beautiful version of her. I see her become the real her--until a loud bang on the door tears me away from her. Turning off the music, I walk towards the door and open it with a disgusting scowl on my face. "What is it?" I ask in a tone that honestly would have scared even me. My younger brother throws me an equally disgusting frown" Why do you always have a stick up your ass?". I glare at him with anger as his sarcastic remark infuriates me even further. As a reply to my death glare, he rolls his eyes and says, "Mom and dad are calling you downstairs." And with that, he turns around and walks down the stairs, well, not before shoving the middle finger in front of my face. Seeing him go downstairs, I go back inside my room and sit on the bed with a plop. I put my head down between my shoulders and breathe heavily to calm down my racing heartbeat from all the dancing and shouting. After a few seconds, I feel my heart not pounding as much as before and lift my head. Looking at the mirror, I let out a huff. My long light brown hair is stuck to my face like paper sticks to glue. Beads of sweat run down the side of my forehead and my cheeks have a reddish tint to them like I have been dancing for the past two hours, which I have been but they don't need to know that. Taking off my t-shirt, I walk towards my closet and take a shirt from it without giving it a glance and pull it over my head. At least, I won't smell like sweat anymore, hopefully. Shutting the door behind me, I walk downstairs, thinking about what they want to talk to me about. As I reach the living room, I see all of my family members sitting on the couch and floor chatting and laughing with each other like they do every evening. How long was I actually dancing? I sit down on the empty spot on the floor near Kyle and turn my head to look at my parents talking to each other on the couch. "You guys wanted to talk to me?" Both of my parents look towards me and give me a slight smile. "Yes, Jenny. I was thinking that we all go out on a family dinner today to celebrate your graduation" Fidgeting with the hem of my shirt, I let out an awkward chuckle to my dad. "Dad, we don't need to celebrate. I mean it's just high school." My dad waves his hand as a dismissive sign and says, "Nonsense. We need to celebrate it. We are going out tonight. And that's final." Kyle slightly pushes his knee on mine as a signal for me to not drag this conversation any further. I nod with a huge grin on my face. "Thanks, dad. I'm going to go and pick out my clothes for tonight." I say in the sweetest fake tone that one can. My parents smile at me and I take that as my queue to get the f**k out of that room. I run upstairs to my room and pull the door shut behind me. s**t s**t s**t! I'm so not ready for this conversation today. I know that it's just dinner but it's not. I know my parents and I know my dad is going to ask me about my college plans which I don't have. I grab a bunch of my hair with both my hands and pull at it while I sit down on my bed. "f*****g hell!" I scream out in a whisper. "Why are you so freaked out about tonight?" I jump at the sudden voice of my elder brother coming from the doorway. "Geez, ever heard of knocking?" Kyle ignores my comment and enters my room shutting the door behind him. He sits in front of me on the floor with his legs crossed and looks up at me. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I let out a sigh and look down at my hands. "It's nothing. It's not like you would understand anyway." That was a lie. Kyle always understood me. Something which was rare. He looks at me with one of his eyebrows raised, his blue eyes widening while a silly smirk plays on his lips. I rub my hands against my thighs nervously and say, "Fine. I'm freaking out because I know that they are going to ask me about my college plans. And I don't even have a single plan let alone plural plans. I'm not sure I even want to have a plan. " Kyle listens intently taking in every word I just ranted and shakes his head slightly. "Look, Jo. Everyone feels this way after they graduate. No one has a definite plan for life but it all just works out in the end." Rubbing my hand across my forehead, I take a deep breath, "It's not that, Kyle. I don't think I want to go to college." He looks at me with a puzzled face. "I wanna be a dancer.", I whisper in a small timid voice. Still looking at me, he opens his mouth to say something and then again closes it like he doesn't know what to say. And then he chuckles. "This is not funny, Kyle!" I whine at him. He holds his hands up as a sign of peace and then chuckles once again. "I know, I know. It's just that I didn't expect you to say that. I mean I know that you love dancing but I didn't know you loved it that much." I find myself slightly blushing at his words. "Well, I do. I love it a lot and I want to spend the rest of my life doing that." He nods at me in an understanding way and says, "It's your life and it's your choice, Jo. But you should know that things like these don't have as much stability as other careers do. It's going to be unsteady and hard." "Yeah, I know but I'd rather do something unsteady that I love instead of doing something steady and secure that I don't love.", I admit. Kyle smiles genuinely at me and then stands up towering over me. "If that's how you feel, then you should just tell them." I look up at him feeling grateful for having him as my brother. Giving me a quick kiss on my forehead, he leaves me alone with my thoughts. I should tell them. It's not like they can do anything to stop me. :Do follow me on i********: