Insatiable

Chapter 19

Whisky and ice.

Vampires are not that different from humans. Just like the latter, the bloodsuckers crave something bitter during their loneliest time.

Eleanor is lonely.

She's so f*****g lonely that not even this whiskey can save her.

No one can save her from herself.

She went straight to a bar after her little encounter with the ruthless vampire. Eleanor still didn't perform a spell that will hide her in spite of what just happened at the boxing gym.

She wants Sage to find her again.

But he didn't.

She stayed in the bar until midnight, howbeit even his shadow is unseen. Did he give up? Did he take Eleanor's words by heart? Did he finally realize that she isn't good enough for him?

"More?" The bartender raises a brow after Eleanor gulps down the remaining whiskey in her glass.

She shakes her head as she brings out her card. It's crazy how weeks ago, she would just compel the bartender to not let her pay the drinks, but the Eleanor today is different because she found herself acting like a normal person.

She paid her bill for the reason that she wanted to act like a human again. For the first time in a long while, she misses being a living creature.

She misses feeling intoxicated too.

"Have a good night!" The bartender salutes when she turns to leave.

She walks back to her dorm room inside Kinghorn University. The school streets are empty and it's probably because it's already midnight.

The cold wind blows while she exhales hot breaths.

She's dead tired, so she instantly dives into her queen size bed. Eleanor compelled someone to discard the two single size beds when she realized that Sage isn't going to live with her anymore.

She's all alone now.

"Hmm," Ellie hugs her soft pillow. It didn't take long for her to go to dreamland.

"Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!" Eleanor smiles. "Ready or not, here I come!" And then she opens her eyes.

"James? Where are you~" the corner of her mouth turns up as she looks for her dear best friend.

She's in Lacuna Forest, however this place seems different from the forest she knows. The sun is brighter here, the leaves on the ground aren't dead. They're fresh. The chirps of the birds are music to her ears. The air is also fresher.

"Boo!" James shows himself at Eleanor—making the enchantress giggle.

"I found you!" She engulfs him into a welcoming hug.

This should've happened almost twelve years. They should be able to find each other after ten counts. Finally, it happened.

"James...I found you! I really found you!" Eleanor tightens her embrace at him like she's afraid he'll fade away.

Eleanor is afraid. This feels too good to be true. How can she see James again?

"You're real, right?" Her tears fall.

James grins and holds her hand.

"I'm real, Ellie, but we're in your dream."

Eleanor's heart falls, yet she nods as if everything is alright. Of course this is just a dream. There's no way James is alive. It's impossible to see him grow up into this fine looking man.

James died at the age of seven, but the James in front of her looks like a person who's the same age as the Eleanor today.

"Come..." James slightly pulls his friend's hand.

They sit on a bench under a strong tree. The same tree she burnt to the ground...

"I can't believe you're here," Ellie cups his smooth face. Her heart is so happy. "But w-why didn't you visit me sooner?"

Was he mad at her? Did he blame her for what happened to him many years ago?

"Because I thought I had the luxury of time." James touches Eleanor's hand on his face.

"I was watching over you, Ellie."

She sobs. It only means that he saw how she stopped solving his murder. He watched her fall in love with the killer.

"Hey," James scowls. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry!" She sobs harder. "I wasn't able to give you justice..."

The enchantress feels stupid now. She can't believe she's gullible enough to be fooled by a manipulative vampire.

"You don't have to say sorry." He brings her hand to his mouth. "I had another shot at a happy life here." And then he kisses it.

"What do you mean?"

"There's another world after death, Ellie. It's like paradise. There's no crime, no hate, no killings. Everyone is just happy."

It is indeed a paradise. It's where good people who have unfinished business go after they die, so yeah. It's temporary. It's like the tree where the dead good ones reside.

"I grow up in that paradise. I even met your mom there."

Eleanor's eyes light up.

"She said she's sorry she can't go see you."

"W-Where's she?"

"The real paradise." Cassandra's unfinished business isn't about Eleanor. It's about Jude. When she saw that he's finally living the life he deserved, the angels then told her that it's time to go.

Eleanor sighs. Tears still pool in her eyes.

"W-Will you go there too?" She doesn't want him to leave yet.

"After I make sure you're okay."

"But I will never be okay." Her voice breaks.

"You have to be." He wipes her tears away. "You have to forgive yourself for me."

Eleanor understands what he's saying. This isn't just about her. This is about James' too. It's obvious that even though he's happy to see her, he's still exhausted. Perhaps he just wants to rest for real. It's been more than a decade after all.

"I was bound to die that day, Ellie. Believe me when I say it's not your fault."

Oh how she wishes it's that easy.

This is the problem with words. People always think that just because they utter words with such confidence and love, it's all going to be okay.

It's not.

Positive words don't hold enough power. It's time who does. Those who have the luxury of time are so lucky. Some people go without attaining their desires. It's sad.

"You would still be alive if you just didn't meet me."

"Exactly." His eyes dilate. "But I met you, right? Not just that, I also chose to stay by your side even if you didn't ask me to do so."

James might only be seven years old that time, however he knows what he's doing. He knows what his heart desire and it was to be with the young Kyteler.

"I'm sorry." The vampire apologizes again. "If I could turn back time, I would."

People replay scenes their heads hoping to change it, but you see, that's exactly the problem. We can just replay it.

There won't be a new ending no matter how many times we play it back.

Playing it back doesn't get you anywhere. It sucks because we're supposed to just keep moving forward.

We can't pause it either. The world continues to revolve even if we're too broken to function.

There's also no fast forward in real life. Sadness wants to consume us in the slowest and most tormenting way.

"There are things we can never control no matter how powerful we think we become."

Eleanor can have all the power in this world, though it doesn't mean she'll be happy forever.

"There's only one way to escape that sad truth..." James stares deep in her soulful eyes. 

"Let go, Ellie. Let go of the pain so that you can move forward. It doesn't matter even if you can only take one step forward. A progress is still a progress."

It's his way of telling Eleanor to slow things down—that she doesn't have to forgive everyone who hurt her. She only needs to forgive herself first.

It's the first step.

Eleanor parts her mouth to say something, however she isn't able to do so when a blinding light hurt her eyes.

"I have to go now, Ellie..." James stands up.

"No!" She whines.

He only laughs.

"Everyone's waiting for me, including your grandmother."

Wilnadette and Lucas are already in the real paradise. Their souls went straight to that place because Eleanor destroyed the tree. Lucas, on the other hand, chose the real paradise because he just wants to be reunited with his parents.

"Don't leave me," she pleads. Tears stain her cheeks once again.

"In another life, Ellie." He's walking backwards since it's the enchantress' face he wishes to see for the last time.

"Goodbye, best friend..."