Don Vidal

16 - What is wrong with me?

Marnie

I haven’t looked at Draven yet. I can’t seem to bring myself to do so. To be honest, I feel empty inside right now. Those men tortured me for being with Draven and for information I had no knowledge of.

I should have listened to people when they said what kind of life I’d be walking into. I shouldn’t have been so naïve as to think bad things wouldn’t happen to me if I was with Draven. I could have lost my baby today! We could have died!

All those promises Draven made meant nothing because he couldn’t keep them. He couldn’t stop his own man from kidnapping me and taking me to those monsters. I want to hate him for it, but I don’t. I don’t blame him for what happened either because it wasn’t his fault. I don’t believe Draven wanted anything to happen to me, and definitely not our baby.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now, though.

Do I walk away from Draven?

Or should I put this behind me and make things work between us?

I heard Draven and Tony talking earlier. The doctor hadn’t closed the door properly and I could hear their conversation. They mentioned the names of the men who hurt me, and I got the feeling they weren’t working for the enemy. I won’t know for sure if they were Draven’s men until I hear it from Draven himself. Deep down, though, I know it’s true.

How would I ever be able to trust the men who work for Draven after this when I couldn’t even trust my driver?

Stefano made sure my bodyguard was out of the way so that I couldn’t call for help, and Tom would have helped me had he been there. Tom is always near me wherever I go.

So, how was Stefano able to give him the slip so easily?

I am so scared! I don’t know what to think or feel. If I leave, Draven will never stop hunting me until he drags me back to him.

God, what have I gotten myself into?

How could I have been so stupid?

My head is banging, and my whole body hurts. Some of the nerves in my legs and hands are still shaking. The doctor said they would settle down, but that it’s normal after the way I was shocked with that cattle prod. I tap my fingertips together because they’re tingling, and so are my toes. I lay my hands on my belly and close my eyes, and a tear falls.

I should have fought harder to protect my baby. I will never forgive myself for letting fear rule my head. If I can’t even take care of my child before it’s born, I have no hope when they’re here. I’ll be a terrible mother, Hank knew that years ago.

But as I stroke my stomach, I ask my baby for forgiveness. I will never let them down again. No matter what I have to do, even if I have to kill every monster who threatens my child, I will!

I’ll move on from this day the way I have everything in my life. However, right now, I just feel so hopeless.

What the hell have I let myself in for with this man?

How stupid could I have been to trust a Mafia Don?

I thought I knew better than the gossips. I thought everything I’d heard about Draven Vidal was exaggerated to scare people like me. I know Draven is a bad man, but I thought there was good in him somewhere. I thought maybe after he was so good to me this past week, we’d formed a friendship.

I never dreamed this would happen to me. I’m a good person; I’ve never done anything wrong. I always put everyone before myself.

So why did this happen to me?

What did I ever do to deserve the life I was handed?

I don’t look at Draven when he sits down in the chair beside the bed I’m lying in. I haven’t looked at him once since he came into the room. I’m trying not to cry out loud because I don’t want to look weak in Draven’s eyes, even though I feel it right now.

Draven gently takes my hand in his. I don’t pull away because somewhere inside of me, I feel a strange sense of comfort from his touch.

Does that make me some kind of sadist?

“Marnie, we need to talk.”

I shake my head slightly. “You let them hurt me.” I swallow back a sob and look at him through bloodshot eyes.

I swallow back another sob at the devastated look on his face. “Marnie, I did not allow them to hurt you. I had no idea they would do this.”

“Didn’t you? Who were they, Draven?”

Draven blows out a deep breath. “The men who did this to you were elder members of the family council. I won’t lie to you; it was put to me that your loyalty to me and to the family had to be tested the same way it is with anyone who gets close to the Don.”

My eyes widen.

Draven shakes his head. “Listen to me, I did not agree to it, Marnie. I would not have done that, especially while you’re pregnant.”

But he would have agreed if I wasn’t pregnant?

Charming!

“Each of those men, including Stefano, is dead. No one will live should they hurt you.”

I stare at Draven as anger rises in his eyes. He closes them and breathes deeply as if breathing away that anger. Something inside tells me that Draven has been affected by what his men did to me and by what could have happened to our baby a little more than he’s used to with others.

I realize that I’m not angry with him even slightly; I’m angry with the situation I found myself in and the fact that I felt so weak, unable to get myself out of it.

Draven kept his promise about what he would do to anyone who ever hurt me. I don’t know, and I don’t want to know yet what he did to those men, but I know they will have died in terrible ways. The Don isn’t likely to just slap you around a little.

I want to believe this won’t happen again, but I don’t know who I can really trust. I should go back to Brooke’s and wash my hands of this whole thing.

So why am I clutching Draven’s hand in mine, too scared to let go?

“They made me think they were the enemy and that they wanted to hurt you. They kept asking me for information because they thought I would tell them anything at all to make them stop. They kept saying you took something, and I should tell them where it was. But I didn’t know what the hell they were talking about. I tried to think of a lie, but nothing came to me. I didn’t tell them anything, I didn’t betray you, Draven.”

He strokes my hair back from my forehead. “I know you didn’t. But I would have understood if you had told them something, Marnie.”

I nod and breathe deeply. “They said they would keep me alive long enough for the baby to be born, then they’d sell our baby on the black market.”

Draven gets out of his chair and sits down on the bed in front of me, my hands in his. “Listen to me, Marnie. I know they scared and hurt you, and if I could bring them back from the dead and kill them all over again, I would. I want you to know that no one will ever take this baby from you, Marnie. I swear it.” He lays his hand protectively on my stomach.

“How do I know that you won’t?”

It’s not like I haven’t heard about how Mafia Don’s take their firstborn sons from the mother so they can be raised by the Elders.

How am I to know if my child is a boy, I’d be able to keep him?

It’s not like I could go against Draven; he’d kill me. Not that I would give my child up willingly. I would fight to the death to keep my baby with me. But people like Draven are not people you take lightly.

“Marnie, I know it’s going to be hard for you to trust me for a while, and maybe you want to get as far away from me as possible, but I promise on everything I love that I will not take this child from you. My father tried to take me from my mother the moment I was born. She never hid from me the pain that caused her. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

I stare at Draven, my mind wondering how his mother coped with almost losing her child to the Mafia. I also wonder how she convinced them not to take him. She must have been a very strong and determined woman.

I am just as determined to keep my child with me and safe.