Beautifully Ruined

BOOK ONE: CUFF ME, FATHER Grace Pov Three years ago “Grace,I think we should break up.” Nathaniel said right after s*x. We have been secretly dating and have decided to take our relationship to the next level. “What do you mean? I thought you said you loved me and we were going to spend the rest of our lives together so what's that rubbish you are saying?" I reached out to touch his face. "Did I do something wrong? Didn't you like it? I know it's my first time but I tried watching..." I paused, unable to say I watched the dirty tapes just so I could learn a trick or two. "Tell me what's wrong babe and I will fix it." Instead of holding me close, he pulled away from me like I had a contagious disease. “I don't want to do this Gracie,I mean I have imagined us getting married and having kids but I can't because I leave for the seminary tomorrow.” He didn't even sound sorry and I couldn't believe my ears. “So what happens to me?” I forced myself to ask. “I don't know," he ran his hand through his head and I couldn't help but look at his semi hard c**k. "Gracie I beg you, you cannot tell anyone about this else I lose everything I have worked so hard for.” Now he tries to touch me but I move back and raise a finger which made him stop talking before I pulled my dress strap up. "Whatever you're about to say just… don't." "Gracie you have to promise me, I need to know you won't tell anyone." "I just have one question Nathaniel," I stood in front of him, my eyes fixed on him. "Why did you do it? You know I was skeptical about having s*x, yet you assured me that you weren't going to leave,so what changed?!" "Gracie, listen to me, I made a commitment.." "To who?" I scoffed. "You made it to yourself. Nobody has ordained you yet. No one is standing here but me." He looked at me and I hated that my heart was waiting for the assurance from him that I was used to. "I can't choose you," he said and the words pierced my heart. "I'm sorry, I just can't." I almost lost my balance but managed to pick up my bag and head for the door while fighting tears that threatened to fall. I wasn't going to cry over a man who broke up with me after taking my virginity. Never. "I hate you Nathaniel Cross and I pray you suffer big time. I never want to see your face ever again." I said and walked out. ***Present*** The Calvary Creek sign needs repainting. That's the first thing I noticed driving in. Three years have passed and this town couldn't even maintain its own welcome sign. “f**k this,” I cursed as I light a cigarette and drive past it. My father doesn't know I smoke. He doesn't know a lot of things about who I became after I left here and I plan to keep it that way for the duration of this visit. My plan was to come home, get him stable, and then leave. I've had the same plan for the four hours I've been driving and it has felt less convincing with every mile. My phone buzzes on the passenger seat and one look at it tells me it's Destiny, my coworker, and cover story, the only person from my other life who knows where I actually am right now. ‘How's it going’ I text as I take a long drag and blow smoke out the window. ‘Brain just booked me for the night’ she replied with a screaming emoji and that made me smile. Brain was a walking Atm and anyone lucky to grace his bed got settled big time. Somehow, I couldn't help but feel a certain way because I was this close to getting him in my bed before I got the call that my dad had collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. I huff out smoke as I look through the window and see that the town hasn't changed one bit as I drive through it, that's because Calvary Creek is resistant to time. I carefully avoided looking at the church as I drove past it because I wanted to keep that memory buried forever. When I got to my childhood home, I saw a small man which was a sharp contrast to the man I left three years ago. In just two weeks,the stroke had divided his weight by half. "You're late," he said and I just sighed, forcing back the words that were struggling to come out because I wasn't going to argue with a sick old man. "Tsk, if you don't want me, I can just go back," I hissed. “You don't know how much money coming back here is costing me.” "No,no, don't leave, I have no one to care for me since Nathaniel got busy with the church.” he pleaded as he saw the look on my face. I froze. I had spent the last few years avoiding that name only for it to be the first thing I hear as soon as I come back. How cruel can fate be? “I knew you wouldn't come if I told you Nathaniel was the priest. I don't get why you hate him…” “Father please,” I interrupted and headed upstairs to change for church because my father would never miss church even in his state and since I was his nanny for the time being,I had to get dressed too. I'm barely down the stairs when he shot me a dirty look. "Why are you wearing such a tight dress? Don't you have any clothes your size?" "No," I said then paused. "Fine, I'll add a jacket," I roll my eyes. "The girls in church don't wear dresses like this… Don't you want to get married?" "Dad!" "I just said I was going to add a jacket, so drop it." The ride to church was peaceful while I fought the urge to smoke as I needed help forgetting stuff but it didn't work as everything that happened that night came flooding back. He had ruined my life yet the people looked at him like an angel. I was going to avoid him as much as I could. That's why I had specifically asked who the residing priest was. That was supposed to be a precaution to avoid running into 'you know who' yet God who apparently has a vicious sense of humor looked at my one precaution and sent Nathaniel Cross to the pulpit anyway. By the time service ends, my blood is boiling. Don't give him the opportunity, I kept saying and just as I was about to enter my car, someone called out. "Grace." Nathaniel Cross called out and even though I was supposed to be mad at him, I felt the butterflies in my stomach flapping for joy. "I can't believe you're back," "My father needed me." I said still, backing him."Though I won't be staying for long." "Grace…" "It was a lovely service." I entered my car after securing my dad in the back seat. My heart was beating so fast, I had to wait for a few seconds before driving. No matter what happens, I was going to stick to my plan. So help me God.