ZANDER
I’ve been rolling the pills in my palm, staring at it for almost five minutes. I’ve been doubling the dose of my anti-anxiety medications ever since I came back, and I haven’t returned to Dr. Chen for my scheduled follow-up.
The medications help me feel numb. It helps to bear the pain.
But some days I skip them altogether, so I can cry and scream and shout. I wallow in grief for a day, then pick myself up the next. Because letting completely myself sink in despair means admitting that I’ve lost my twin, and I know in my heart that I haven’t.
The next eclipse is in six months. The world has gone darker than I thought it could ever be, and if Alex needs my body so he could bring back the light, I’ll gladly give it all to him.
