ZANDER
Finn and I return to Ratchaburi.
I waited for Ma to return home from the temple.
“He’s gone, Ma,” I tell her.
She just nods and locks herself in her room. I sit outside her door and listen to her weep the whole night.
We hold a memorial the next day. Just us, Finn and his family, Lance and his father.
A few days later, our district’s military draft starts. Finn volunteers.
I think I finally understand when Alex said he’ll always be by my side. Whenever I feel like unraveling by the seams, I would feel him. I’d hear him nag. I still feel like I’m hanging by a thread, but I hold on. I don’t want to fail him. Not again.
Lance stays by my side. Some days I push him away, but when the nightmares come, I call him and ask him to hold me while I sleep.
A year passes, and he’s still
