Reborn in 2005: No More Being a Simp

The most foolish thing in life is an obsession born from self-deception. At thirty-seven, Chen Mo had struggled at the bottom of society for twenty years before finally understanding a simple truth: no one had ever forced him to lower himself for love. All the desperate devotion, silent waiting, and self-sacrificing affection had only trapped himself in the end. When you love the wrong person, knowing when to let go is the greatest clarity an adult can have. After half a lifetime of ups and downs, he had seen enough of human indifference and tasted every kind of hardship. Countless nights were filled with regret and remorse. If life could start over once more, he had only one wish: Never waste his youth on someone unworthy again. Never ruin his entire life for a meaningless obsession. … Cold tap water splashed across his face, washing away the haze of alcohol and tearing apart the exhaustion accumulated through years of adulthood. Chen Mo slowly raised his head and looked into the mirror. Reflected there was the face of a teenage boy. Young and clean-cut, with bright eyes untouched by hardship. No traces of age, no numbness carved by life’s burdens. He carried the vivid energy unique to eighteen-year-olds. Strange, yet painfully familiar. “Mo, what are you doing in there? You only drank one beer. Why’re you hiding for so long?” A familiar teenage voice came from outside the restroom door. Chen Mo froze. His heart trembled violently. Luo Botao. The closest brother he had in his life. In his previous life, when Chen Mo had fallen into poverty and wandered the streets of Yangcheng with nowhere to go, everyone avoided him. Only this foolish brother had traveled a thousand miles to help him through his darkest days. In Chen Mo’s memories, the middle-aged Luo Botao had long been worn down by reality. But the person standing outside now was still the honest and simple teenager from back then, untouched by life’s hardships. Chen Mo wiped the water from his face. The reflection in the mirror became clearer and clearer. It really was him at eighteen. Young, reckless, and still full of possibilities. “Hurry up. Most of the classmates already left. We should go too.” Luo Botao pushed open the door and handed him a tissue, looking helpless at his dazed expression. Instead of taking it, Chen Mo suddenly reached out and pinched Luo Botao’s cheek. The warm and real sensation instantly shattered the last trace of doubt in his heart. “Damn! Are you crazy?” Luo Botao slapped his hand away. “Your confession failed, so now you’re taking it out on me?” “Did it hurt?” Chen Mo asked softly. “What kind of stupid question is that? Of course it hurt!” The pain, the voices, the familiar surroundings of the old restaurant — everything felt unbelievably real. An absurd thought exploded in Chen Mo’s mind. He had been reborn. He had truly returned to eighteen years old, back to the class gathering that changed his fate forever. “What year is it? What date?” Chen Mo tried to suppress the storm inside him. Luo Botao looked at him like he was insane. “August 9th, 2005. Don’t tell me getting rejected broke your brain?” August 9th. Memories buried for twenty years burst open instantly. This day was the beginning of his tragedy. For all three years of high school, Chen Mo’s world had revolved around one person alone: Lin Zhitong. A casual comment from her was enough for him to change himself completely. She liked male celebrities with long hair, so he secretly grew his hair despite school rules. She liked boys who played basketball, so he practiced day and night until his body was covered in injuries. She liked campus folk songs, so he taught himself guitar from scratch until calluses covered his fingertips. She said she didn’t want to date in high school, so he quietly buried his feelings and waited for her for three years without ever confessing. To follow her, he had even given up a guaranteed place at a prestigious 211 university and chose an ordinary college just because she was going there. Back then, he had been naïve and stubborn. He believed companionship could overcome time. He believed sincerity could melt coldness. But after three years of humble devotion, all he received in return was a vague and endlessly delayed: “Let’s talk about it later.” At the time, he had been too young and obsessed to let go. Trapped in heartbreak and unwilling to accept reality, he eventually ruined his own life because of a ridiculous conflict. Now, looking back on everything, Chen Mo felt only calm and irony. After half a lifetime of hardship, he had long understood the cruelest truth about love: Not taking initiative, not rejecting you, and refusing responsibility all meant the same thing. They simply didn’t love you. “Mo, are you okay? Your face looks awful.” Luo Botao stared at him worriedly. “I’m fine.” Chen Mo took the tissue and wiped the water from his face. The confusion in his eyes disappeared, replaced by the calmness of someone who had already lived through an entire lifetime. “Let’s go.” The two walked out together. Luo Botao quickly pulled him back and whispered, “Why don’t we sneak out through the back door? It’ll be awkward if you run into Lin Zhitong again.” “Awkward?” Chen Mo smiled faintly and walked calmly toward the banquet hall. “There’s no need.” The obsession that had trapped him for three years had already been severed completely. What was there to feel awkward about anymore? The banquet hall had long lost its earlier excitement. Only a few people remained. Near the window sat Lin Zhitong quietly at a table. Her floral dress highlighted her graceful figure. Her features were delicate and gentle, still the “white moonlight” admired by countless students at Wen County No.1 High School. If this had been his previous life, Chen Mo would have felt nervous and ashamed just standing before her. But after twenty years of hardship, his heart had completely changed. Looking at the face he once obsessed over, he now felt nothing at all. Lin Zhitong lowered her head the moment she saw him approaching, panic and guilt flashing in her eyes. Beside her, the class monitor Fang Yongming immediately stood up with a mocking smile. “Oh? The great romantic actually came back? I thought you already ran away in embarrassment after getting rejected.” For three whole years, this guy had chased after Lin Zhitong openly himself. Compared to Chen Mo back then, he had been even more desperate and pathetic. Now he actually had the nerve to mock someone else. Chen Mo ignored him completely. Mistaking his silence for weakness, Fang Yongming stepped forward and blocked Lin Zhitong behind him. “What? You got rejected and now you want trouble? Chen Mo, can’t you afford to lose?” “Mo, calm down! Don’t argue with him!” Luo Botao hurriedly grabbed Chen Mo’s arm. Chen Mo gently pushed his friend’s hand aside. Without caring about anyone’s gaze, he calmly picked up the bouquet of red roses on the table. That bouquet had been bought with money he saved little by little. It was also the final proof of his three-year obsession. Lin Zhitong looked up at him nervously. “Mo, listen to me. I didn’t mean to reject you earlier. I just really…” “No need to explain.” Chen Mo interrupted her calmly. His voice was distant and cold, no longer carrying the gentleness he once reserved for her. “From today onward, don’t call me ‘Mo’ anymore.” “Call me Chen Mo.” That simple change in address completely severed the connection between them. Holding the bouquet, Chen Mo turned around without another glance and walked out of the banquet hall cleanly and decisively. Without the slightest hesitation.