Persia's Prayer

II

"That was intense. Ikaw ba talaga 'yon?" Emily approached me after the game. Nagsisimula na kaming mag-empake dahil practice na ng basketball practice. Nakaupo lamang ako sa may bench at saka umiinom ng tubig.

"I just did that to get Alastair's attention. Then, voila! I got Alastair's attention. He looked at me," mayabang kong tugon kay Emily. Kaagad namang namula si Emily.

"Maharot ka, ang lakas ng loob mo!" hindi makapaniwala niyang tugon. "Paanong tingin ba ang ginawa sa'yo?" kinikilig niyang tugon.

"'Yung tingin ba na hinuhubaran ako," natatawa kong biro. Mas lalo siyang namula at saka hinampas ako sa braso.

"Kyaaah! Napaka mo! Hindi ko inakala na ganyan ka ka-obvious!" tawang tawa niyang tugon.

"Duh, he just looked. There's no meaning behind that."

"Pero kahit na, ang lucky mo. Ano kayang feeling kapag tinitigan niya ako," nangangarap niyang tugon.

Naputol lang ang usapan namin nang dumating si Celestine. Taas noo itong nakatitig sa amin ni Emily at ipinaparating na minamaliit kami.

"What a stupid trick," iritado niyang pasaring bago kinuha ang gamit at saka ako tinalikuran. Hindi ko naman pinansin dahil ayokong magsimula ng gulo.

"Paano ba 'yan inis na sa atin ang team captain.." Emily said.

Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi ni Emily. Hinanap ko si Alastair at nakita kong kausap ng ka-teammate nito. He was still expressionless. What do I expect from him? It's not like magkakagusto siya sa akin sa unang tingin. That's why I have to earn that spot. I have to make him like me.

"By the way, don't even think of stalking or courting him. It doesn't work that way," paalala ni Emily sa akin.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. "Huh? Why is that?"

"I just heard from girls near the restroom on the gym. Nagtangkang ligawan si Alastair. And it ended so bad. I dunno what really happened but don't try it. Baka umuwi kang luhaan," she replied.

"But giving up isn't in my vocabulary, Emily. Alam mo iyan. You will never know unless you try."

"That's why I'm telling this to you. That doesn't apply on this situation. Baka mas lalo ka lang niyang hindi magustuhan. Some boys think it as a total turn off."

"That's why I have to try it. If i-turn down niya ako, I can try until he give up on rejecting me. Kesa naman, magregret ako na hindi ako nagtry.."

"But is that okay? That's not your thing.." she hesitantly answered.

Naisip ko din naman iyon. Ayokong gawin ang mga bagay na iyon. But this is really exciting for me. Pakiramdam ko ay buhay na buhay ang dugo ko sa iniisip. Me courting Alastair is a major achievement. I'm expecting him to reject me but I won't give up that easy.

"Getting out of my comfort zone.." I packed up my bag at saka tumayo. "Alastair isn't the type to make a first move. Kung hindi siya ang gagalaw, then I'll take the first step. And that is to claim him.."

Lumipas ang mga araw at nagpatuloy lamang ako sa paghahanap ng impormasyon sa kanya. Minsan ay sinusundan ko siya sa pag-uwi pero dahil sa kilalang subdivision ang bahay niya at kilalang tao lang ang nakakapasok, nanatiling lihim ang address niya. Aside from school and basketball, umuuwi din kaagad siya ng bahay.

I found his favorite food. Strawberries. He love strawberries. Nakikita ko siyang kumakain ng lollipop during breaks. He also like to order strawberry shortcake kapag nasa cafeteria. I also happen to see him drink a pink smoothie which I though is strawberry. Kaya naman maaga akong gumising ngayong umaga para magbake ng strawberry shortcake.

"What are you doing, Persia? It's three in the morning.." nagising si Papa dahil sa kalampag sa kusina.

"I'm just craving for shortcakes since last week. That's why I'm making some now.." palusot ko.

"Oh.." he then realized that so he got a chair and sit on it to watch me cook. Isinuot pa niya ang salamin para makita ang ginagawa ko. "Make some for me."

"Hmmm.. if you'll praise me, then I'll make some for you.."

My father laughed. "Alright, then.. You're beautiful just like your mother. Is that enough?"

My father is getting old but he won't still forget about my mother. He's head over heels over my mother, ang problema lang my mother died of breast cancer two years after I was born.

"You missed her?" I asked.

"Yes, I do. And you because you resemble her, you're the only person that's keeping me alive.." biro niya.

"Tch, mas mahal mo talaga si Mama kesa sa sarili mong anak?" natatawa kong tugon.

My father is a retired pastor although he still preach on children and charities sometimes. He is very religious and kind, no doubt maraming donasyon na dumarating sa amin. He loves to share and help, that's why he got a lot of awards for helping the poor.

"Of course, I love you.." he said. "But do you still pray? Don't forget to thank God for all the blessings. Galing sa kanya ang kinakain natin," paalala niya.

I was raised on a religious environment. He always teach me how to pray. When I started to read at the age of three, he started teaching me gospels. Maging ang mabuting asal at pag-uugali. I can say I was raised well, pero palagay ko ay may nakuha akong ugali sa aking ina na may kaunting attitude.

"Yes po.." pagkatapos ng ginagawang decoration ay isinalang ko na iyon sa oven. Tiningnan ko si Papa na nakatitig sa malayo. "Matulog ka na kaya, Pa?"

"What do you think about sisterhood?"

Napatigagal ako sa sinabi niya.

"S-Sisterhood? You mean pagmamadre?"

My father slowly nodded. Tila gumuho ang pangarap ko. I'm baking shortcake for the guy I like and now my father is talking about sisterhood! How ironic!

"Yes, what do you think about it?"

Hindi yata ako nakagalaw. I was always obedient to my father but I'm not sure what to answer now.

"Uhhmm.. I don't know Pa. Wala sa plano ko ang magmadre.."

Tumango-tango si Papa na tila alam na ang isasagot ko sa kanya. "Huwag mo ng isipin iyon, anak. I want you pursue whatever your dream is.."

Does he want me to become a nun? But why? Is it related to his work?

He looked so worried. Nakakunot ang noo niya at tila malalim na nag-iisip.

"Matutulog ako ulit, anak. Ipagtabi mo na lang ako."

Tumango ako sa aking ama. Ipinagpatuloy ko na lamang ang ginagawa at natuwa naman ako dahil mukhang masarap ang ginawa kong cake para sa mahal ko. I wrapped it on a cute box para naman mukhang may effort talaga ako. Ilalagay ko na lang talaga sa locker niya.

"Ibibigay mo 'yan kay Alastair?" tanong ni Emily sa akin nang matapos ang unang subject namin.

"Yup."

"Huh? Hindi mo ba nakita na tinatapon niya lamang ang mga regalo sa kanya. Minsan pa, ipinapamigay niya sa mga kasama niya sa basketball team," sagot ni Emily. Naglalakad na kami sa hallway at hinahanap ko ang boy's locker. Medyo tago ang locker ng mga lalaki kaya hindi ako mamomoroblema kung may makakita mang may nilalagay ako sa locker ni Alastair.

"That's because they give stuff without doing a research. Bago ka magbigay sa isang tao, make sure they will like it. It's a common logic."

"How are you so sure that he'll take it?"

"It's his favorite, Emily. Trust me," sagot ko bago luminga. Walang tao sa locker ng mga lalaki kaya nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag. Kalmado akong pumasok sa hallway at saka hinanap ang locker ni Alastair.

Natagpuan ko naman, ang problema nga lamang ay nakalock ito. Good thing, I brought a pin. I was always good at unlocking things. This is an advantage of me.

Nang buksan ko iyon, humalimuyak kaagad ang panlalaking amoy. Sa unang palapag ng locker niya ay nakalagay doon ay ilang T-shirts niya. They must smell so nice. Sa ikalawang palapag ay ilang libro at notebooks.

Wow. He's really clean. Inilagay ko na lamang ang maliit na kahon sa ibabaw ng notebook at sana ay buksan niya iyon maya-maya. Sana lang talaga.

"That was close," nagtatakbo kami ni Emily papunta sa cafeteria dahil pagkalipas lang ng ilang sandali matapos kong mailagay ang kahon sa locker niya, ay may ilang lalaking nagsidating. Sa palagay ko ay nakita nila ang anino ko kaya nag-ingay sila at gumawa ng komosyon.

"It's okay if they see me. It's my goal anyways. It's just a firs step. I won't be hiding forever," sagot ko.

"Right, I have a crush on Alastair but your feelings must be intense." natatawang sagot ni Emily sa akin.

"Yeah, I think so.."

Tutal, hindi naman ako aabot sa ganito kung hindi ko gusto si Alastair. He was the first guy I like and liking a guy is really exciting. I feel so alive and well.

After thirty minutes ay nakaabang na ako sa may locker ng mga lalaki. Nauna ng umuwi si Emily dahil may kailangan itong aralin sa library kaya mag-isa akong naghihintay dito.

Ilang sandali pa ay lumabas mula sa katabing classroom ang mga estudyante. Hinintay ko ang paglabas niya at hindi naman ako nadismaya. Lumabas na doon si Alastair, kasama ang kaibigan. It's the guy with the spiky hair. I forgot his name again.

I just wished buksan niya ang locker niya dahil baka masira 'yung shortcake. I examined his schedule so that I can make sure that the cake won't get spoiled.

Alastair opened his locker and paused. He looked confused with what he saw.

"I definitely locked this. May nakapagbukas pa rin," he said to the guy with him na kaagad ding nakiusyoso.

"Anong nakuha mo this time? Chocolates? I'm tired of it. I'll get diabetes," sabi ng lalaking kausap.

"It's strawberry.. shortcake.." he said.

"Man, level up na ang stalker mo ngayon. She knows what you like. But this look delicious. Recently, I realized shortcakes are delicious. Can I taste this--"

"No." mabilis na sagot ni Alastair habang inilalayo ang kahon sa kaibigan.

Namula ang mukha ko sa narinig. He accepted it. I guess, he can't resist strawberries.

"What? Baka mamaya may gayuma 'yan," sabi ng lalaki.

"I don't mind. As long as it's strawberries," he got the box at saka umalis mula doon. I rejoiced that moment. Pakiramdam ko ay nabuhayan ako ng loob dahil doon.

Dahil sa palagay ko ay nagustuhan niya iyon, I continued placing shortcakes on his locker every morning. Pero not even once, parang wala lang siyang pakialam kada kukunin iyon. Para lang siyang kumuha ng rasyon ng shortcake and that made me upset. He is not interested to know who's placing shortcakes on his locker?

"Persia, take a break. Don't overwork your muscles," utos ni Coach sa akin. Tumango lang ako bilang sagot.

I was a bit upset kaya inuubos ko ang oras kapag hapon sa pagpapractice. Alastair's been busy lately kaya hindi ko siya nakikita sa practice and that made me so gloomy. Without him around, I feel so lonely.

"Sia, una na ako ha? May study session ako sa library. See you. Wag mo na masyado dibdibin, " tinapik ako ni Emily para yata icomfort. I told her what happened and she just laughed at me. Pakiramdam ko ay nag-aaksaya ako ng oras sa isang bagay na wala naman akong kasiguraduhan.

"Fine, good luck sa exams mo.." I said.

I was really pissed that I was just silent the whole time I'm wrapping my things up. Nagsialisan na sila Celestine at ako na lang ang naiwan at si Coach. It's still early before the basketball practice's schedule pero ayoko na rin namang magtagal pa dito.

"By the way Persia, pwede bang dito ka muna sandali?"

"Po?"

"A student assistant will come here to give you something. I'll need it tomorrow so I'll just ask you this favor. Hindi ko na kasi mahihintay. It's the documents for the budget," he said.

Hindi na ako makatanggi dahil ngayon lang naman humingi si Coach ng pabor sa akin.

"Sige po Sir.."

"Huwag kang aalis dito ha? I texted her you'll get the documents.."

Tumango ako bago pinanood si Coach na palayo. Napagpasyahan ko na lang umupo sa may bench at magcellphone. Hindi ko namalayan na nagsidatingan na ang basketball team. Nakaearphones lang ako at naglalaro sa cellphone. Hindi na ako nag-abalang tumingin dahil alam kong wala naman si Alastair ngayon. He's been missing their practice a lot. I wonder what's the reason. I'm so curious.

"Iha, anong ginagawa mo dito?" The coach of the basketball team approached me. Nasa kabilang bench naman ang mga manlalaro. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko ng makita ko si Alastair na nakaupo rin sa bangko at nagsusuot ng sapatos. Oh my God. He's here!

"Ahhh, may pinapahintay po kasi si Coach. Nauna na po kasi siya dahil may kailangan siyang gawin."

"I see, that's why he's missing.." he replied. "By the way iha, if it is not too much to ask, can you help refill the bottles? My stupid boys didn't prepare for the practice. We have a limited time so we don't have time for it."

Huh? Why is everyone asking me for a favor?

"Oh, o-okay po.." I obliged dahil wala na naman akong choice. Nasa labas lang naman ang water fountain kaya madali lang iyong gawin.

Lumapit ako sa bench at saka naglakas ng loob na magtanong. It happened to be a guy with a long hair. He looks like a model but his facial features were so gentle. Noon ko lang nalaman na may gwapo din palang manlalaro sa kanila bukod kay Alastair.

"Excuse me, pero nasaan ang water bottles niyo?" I asked while smiling. They long-haired guy finally looked at me. He looked confused and it's really obvious.

"Uhhh, here... but why are you asking?" sabi niya habang pinapakita sa akin ang bag na may lamang mga bote.

"Uhh.. your coach ask me for a favor. Kaya ire-refill ko lang ang mga bottles niyo.." marahan kong tugon. His confused faced turned into a happy face. Napangiti ako dahil sa maaliwalas niyang aura.

"I'm sorry if you have to do this. We forgot to refill tbe bottles since we just finished our prelims.." he explained.

"No worries.." I even waved my hand to express my willingness to help. "Ire-refill ko lang naman so don't worry about it.."

Sinulyapan ko si Alastair na malapit lang sa amin. Mukhang hindi siya aware sa existence ko. Ganito na lang ba ako habang buhay?

Ganyan babe? Pagkatapos ng shortcakes na rasyon ko sa'yo, di mo ako papansinin? Hmmmp!

Nagdiretso na ako sa water fountain para punuin ang mga tubig. Fourteen bottles iyon ng medyo malalaking water container. This is just an easy task. Para kay Alastair. Para sa mahal ko.

I was just humming while refilling the bottle when I felt a presence beside me. Nanlaki ang mata ko nang makita ko si Alastair sa kabilang sink na naghihilamos ng mukha. I can't help but watch him kaya naman umiwas lang ako ng tingin nang matapos siya.

Nakasuot siya ng itim na t-shirt at mas lalong tumingkad ang kanyang maputlang kulay. The water splashing on his face felt like in slow motion. Kahit nakatagilid siya at hindi ko gaanong kita ang buo niyang mukha, I can remember all the details. Ang mapupula niyang labi at ang matangos niyang ilong ganoon din ang mahahabang pilik-mata. He just looked so unreal.

Hindi ko namalayan na puno na ang huling bote ng tubig. Natapos na din naman siya sa ginagawa at nagpupunas na ng mukha.

I can't forget about that god damn red lips. Natutukso ako. What should I do? Should I remain the unknown girl giving him shortcakes? No. I don't want to be like that for the rest of my life. This is the perfect opportunity. Kami lang dalawa ang nandito.

"Alastair..." I whispered. Napatingin siya sa akin at abot-abot ang tahip ng dibdib ko. Our eyes met at pakiramdam ko ay nag-awitan ang mga anghel. I could live for those gaze forever.

"What?" he asked in a cold yet tender voice. He has such a soft, manly voice! What the heck! I'm going crazy!

Walang pasabi kong hinila ang braso niya. Tumingkayad ako at saka siya hinalikan. When our lips touched, I knew it. It was soft and sweet. Pakiramdam ko ay labi iyon ng sanggol sa kalambutan. Is it because he likes strawberries? Kaya ba mapupula at matamis iyon?

Nanlaki ang mata niya at kaagad na kumunot ang noo. Itinulak niya ako palayo gamit ang dalawang kamay.

"What the hell are you doing?" may bahid ng pagkairita ang boses niya. I smiled. Namumula na ang tenga at pisngi niya. Is he shy? Is he flustered? Does he like it?

Well... I claimed his lips first. I'll never forget about this moment.

"I love you, Alastair. Nice to meet you." I winked at him bago ko inilagay ang huling bote sa malaking bag. Umalis akong nakangiti doon. I could take a thousand favors from Coach if it means I'll end up kissing Alastair.