Bad At Love

Chapter Fifteen

I stared blindly at the ceiling, my mind counting the bumps in the plaster. The night before had been long and emotional. Silas and I had spent several hours discussing the tragedy that is our lives. From talking about Jake to talking about his family. We had covered topics that I had never thought of exploring before. The entire night had been filled with tears and small smiles; we had poured our troubles onto one another.

I don't know when it happened, maybe when we bumped heads while I was crying because he wanted to comfort me. I was all too eager for it. Or maybe when we laid in silence as he stroked my hair and told me everything would be alright. I don't know when it happened. But at some point in the night, I watched as my heart started to fall deeper and deeper into him.

There was no way to stop it from happening, both of us wanted it to. It may seem meager, it's just a conversation. But this was so much more than talking. This was the real s**t no one asks about, no one cares for. I sighed internally as I tossed my body onto its side, facing his sleeping form. I had been awake for what seemed like an hour, but in reality was only fifteen minutes. The rise and fall of his bare chest was the only thing keeping me from believing this was all some sort of dream.

I felt his weight shift on the mattress as he pulled the duvet over his torso. I smiled softly as I took the opportunity to slip out from underneath. Tiptoeing my way to the ensuite, I grabbed my bag and a towel. I definitely needed a nice, hot shower to wash away all my dried tears and emotions from the night before. I quietly closed the door, before setting all my belongings on the countertop. Within minutes, I was completely encased in a hot and steamy shower.

"Finally," I whispered as the hot water dribbled into my back. "definitely needed this." I ran my hands through my knotted mess of hair, before applying a nice glob of shampoo. I continued to knead the soap into my hair. I was happy to wash away the tears from my skin.

I heard a slight shuffle on the other side of the door.

"Hello?" I called out, my head dipping back into the water to wash off the excess soap. I didn't get any sort of reply, shrugging it off, I continued with applying conditioner to my ends. Allowing the conditioner to soak. I continued with washing my body when I heard the same shuffle sound, along with the click of the door opening.

"What the hell? Silas? If that's you, at least tell me." I called out as I heard the door clicked close. I sighed as I leaned my body back into the water. There was probably nothing there. I thought to myself. Before I could say another word, the door of the shower opened to reveal a very naked and grinning Silas. His mischievous eyes eyeing my bare body, my feet shuffled on the wet tile.

"At least ask me to join you when you use this awesome shower." He teased as he stepped into the small, steamy space. Despite being surrounded by hot water, I felt my cheeks heat in embarrassment. I had never showered with a man before.

"Uh, I didn't want to wake you." I stuttered, mentally slapping myself. I positioned my body away from him to allow the water to engulf him. He groaned graciously as he ran his hands across his shoulders and chest. I bit my lower lip and averted my eyes.

"You definitely have the right idea with the hot shower thing, that's for sure." He said. I watched as he eyed me, his brows knitting together. "What's wrong? I can get out if you want." He stepped back for a moment, his hand resting in front of his chest. I shook my head with a small laugh. He was not obligated to leave. I enjoyed the show he gave me.

"No, you're fine. Just," I trailed off, not sure how to express what I was feeling.

"--still reeling from last night?" He whispered as he took two steps forward. His hands almost instinctively wrapped around my waist. I felt every inch of his body, his skin pressing up against mine almost like it had belonged.

"Kind of? I'm just a cluster-f**k of emotions right now. I don't know how to explain it. But just know, I'm trying to get out of the little funk I've been in for a while because, despite that, I'm actually happy." I answered cautiously. I wasn't trying to come off as pathetic, but the sad stare he gave me proved otherwise. I didn't think I was vulnerable or weak, not like the other day. But I was trying.

"I understand. Just know that even if you can't stay happy or be happy, I'll try to be there and help you. I know you've been through some s**t, I know you've seen some dark days, and that's fine. But just know I'm here for you." He said. It was official. He was f*****g perfect. My eyes pooled up at his words, how can he be so damn perfect?

There was no proper response I could think of. I couldn't lie to him and say I would come to him. Despite the fact that I was already falling for him. My mind wasn't ready to be in any type of relationship; my afflictions were all too raw. I needed more time. I knew he'd give it to me if I asked, but I was not ready to let go of him. Just yet.

~

"Okay, so I'll be gone for like max two hours, two and a half depending on traffic. I just have to drop off these files, have a little meeting, and... well, that's it actually. So, yeah. I know you'll probably be super bored. So call room service, order a movie - make sure you tell them to charge AmeriBank LLC, rather than a personal card. Any questions?" He explained. He looked at me, his suit and tie firmly fitting his body, a small smile playing on his lips. He was ready to take on the world.

"You feel like you're talking to a child, don't you?" I mused, crossing my arms over my chest. He had this look in his eyes, almost protective; I liked it too much.

"Kind of," he smirked as he leaned down and kissed my cheek. I smiled and leaned into his lips before he pulled away. "If anything happens, please call." He added on as he stepped towards the door. My eyes watched his every move as he stepped further away from me and to the door.

"Of course, but I highly doubt it considering this is probably a five-star hotel," I replied with a smile. He returned the grin as he turned on his heel, his head slightly shaking in amusement.

"When I get back, we are going out, don't forget," he called out. He opened the door, flashed me one last smile. "I'll see you soon, babe." He closed the door behind him. Leaving me alone in the hotel room. I looked around, unamused at his departure. I knew I'd sit around alone at some point. He was here for work after all.

After last night, I needed to refresh my mind, anyways. This was probably a good thing.