reminiscing

In the middle of the night wake before I even wake up at the right time to see the day. I'm in bed looking at my ceiling as if it was her eyes I was staring at. my heart beat speeds and slows with every thought of my mind and whenever she crosses it . I still remember as if it was yesterday when she came to my house . My friend since 8th grade Vanessa she was a short girl with long hair something to look at if you can get what I mean. She always treated me nice every day she would smile at me and my soul with contort with love so strong I had to hide it away for years in hopes I would ruin this friendship. in the other days it was just us, always had a bad taste in men I lost feelings the more she dated others but deep down I knew I would love her if I opened up but I didn't know she would do the same but the past I don't like to talk about. I sit up in bed looking at my hands thinking about the moment the night had started. I was resting when Vanessa knocked on my door, she talked of drinks tonight but I was surprised because she never was one for a party I agree and at night it's time for me to go. I wake up to face her at the door we take my car the ride is long and quiet only the music from her playlist is heard in the background. Before I could even process the time we were already at the bar and as we parked I took my first look at her outfit. Vanessa's body looked enchanting her red dress,glasses, and locks hanging long that really complemented her everything I could think. little did we know that when I would walk in there that. (ring, ring ,ring) I never liked the ringer in my house as I stood up I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror gloomy eyes bags full of groceries under my eyes. my eyes gaze down and I see....