The Last Breath In Love

13:07pm June 22 I believe love comes in many ways with different intentions. Chapter 1 I have seen it all,men aiming at me with so many bad intentions.Well love is a beautiful thing and should be expressed just as it's beauty. I believed I had my last breath in love the minute I lost my Mother at some point I stopped believing in love . I lost interest in hanging out with people,I became very self-centred.People would do things that used to cheer me up hoping I would play along but then they didn't realise that seeing my mother cheered me up and nothing else.I would cry myself to sleep when I realised that I'm in a house with no warmth of a mother ,had to move from Mafikeng To Rustenburg leaving my dad behind because all I did was remind Him of my Mom.Well I looked like my mother. I thought moving to Rustenburg would make my life easier until I realised I'm so many kilometres away from Mom. Even today a day doesn't pass by without me actually crying whenever I would hear someone call their mothers and I would wish that heaven had a cellphone.People would do things hoping to hurt me and I would cry myself to sleep every night .It's an easy thing to do when you're hurt but it doesn't mean that you're weak it's a sign that you're healing.When You Love Someone Let It Be With Good Intentions Then You'll See That Love Is Unexplainable.I Know Loving Someone Can be Tricky By That I Mean You Can Tell Yourself That YOU have Found The One You're Going To Hold Hands With Forever Just To Find Out That Some day ,Some where you going to go separate ways,it hurts but be bigger than that.The Journey You have travelled with that particular person has a lesson in it and lesson should be a lifetime lesson because at some point in life you're going to need it Chapter 2 There was a time I felt like the world is closing up on me , felt like I can't handle anything anymore even found peace in crying. I felt like nobody cared about me but because I was being self-centred I couldn't even notice when everyone was trying to be there for me but all I did was push everyone away from me.There Was This One Guy That I Fell In love With So Deeply And All He Did Was Hurt Me Over And Over Again And Couldn't Let go.At some point I was forced to let go of someone I loved because I had to decide what I want and had to put myself first .I Had to make myself a first priority because clearly I expected someone's son to put me first whereas I couldn't even put myself first. What Hurts The Most I Was In Love With This Guy And He dated multiple of girls at the same time and I kept forgiving him for the same mistake until I referred to it as a choice because if it was a mistake it should have happened only once but it happened so many times? that's when I decided to know my worth and left the guy.It Took Me Weeks To Get Over Him Because No Guy Ever Loved Me The Way He Did And What Made it worse is that I had to face him everyday .I learnt that love means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and still loves you the same way.Love is a risk that we must take. It hurts investing so much in a person for them to end up hurting you. I couldn't resist seeing him with other girls it really broke me into pieces but I managed to collect myself and be a big girl.I don't blame those who don't believe in love anymore because they actually met the wrong people who gave them wrong impression about love,so many people lost hope and now it seems like the world is a place with no hope,peace and love. It's up to the current generation to decide whether they want to make the world a better place ,a place with peace and love.If you want love to be real you need to love a person for who they are and not what they have . I had the ability to stand up for myself and know what I want,that was the key to me receiving the happiness I want . Don't ever think your happiness depends on someone,you were happy before that person came into your life and you'll be happy without that person. A wise woman once said to me "in order for you to be happy you need yourself before you can need anyone else" I didn't understand what she meant but now I do.You see life doesn't end with a heartbreak it actually begins with it.I Sometimes get a feeling that maybe I was never good enough for the guy that's why he went out and cheated on me but everytime I wake up I take a look at myself in the mirror then I see the most beautiful lady That is more than what a guy can ask for . If you believed in love From the beginning there's nothing stopping you now.Love is a precious thing that needs to be given a chance to express its beauty and kindness.Losing hope is not a solution and will never be .You see in this world today love is just a word that's been badly misused forgetting that there are feelings involved, people are going to get hurt ,we are going to lose instead of winning because we are fighting against each other Chapter 3 15:22 June 22 I gave up on love and people are slowly giving up on love too that's why God made the earth round so that if two people who are meant to be would decide to walk on different paths still at one point of the world the end of their roads can meet.You need to set an example of how you want to be treated and be loved ,but if you are given love even when you have enough just learn to appreciate.I Lost A True Meaning Of Love When I Lost My Parents. Appreciate what you have today because tomorrow it might be gone with just a blink of an eye before the sun could even rise. Depression Is Real,where we only see death as the only option forgetting that talking is also a solution to ending depression.i was depressed, suicidal for days I one day saw myself cutting my hand with a blade .I was found in a pool of blood and I survived that.I couldn't speak to anyone about my condition because someone came into my life told me he loves me made me believe in his lies not knowing how much pain I went through to believe In love again but I guess some people are very inconsiderate about how other people feel that's why we keep Hurting each other just why today I'm a strong and bright woman. Though memories brings so much pain at some point they bring me joy when I come to remember all the time we shared love made each other smile.I Don't want to lie but whenever I was with him I was the happiest ,he was the purpose for my happiness. After Our Break Up I felt this burden on my shoulders that was weighing me down I believed what I was going through was just a stage that I needed to pass through but that didn't make me feel like I'm not strong enough to fight it.I believe we have our own ways of dealing with things and how we approach them.You are a bright star that is always under the moon,star that never dies that's what you are .Taking the last breath doesn't need you to go through so many things you just need to decide what you want and know your worth . That's what I did when I broke up with him,it wasn't an easy thing to do but it was for the best .Don't Allow to Settle for things that will not benefit you in any way .I say let's give love the last shot because afterall it's a cure to broken hearts Chapter 4 I remember when he told me that I was so selfish right after I found out that he's Cheating on me and guess what ??he wanted to play the victim that's how he has always been.He would call every night trying to lie to me about how much he loved me well that might've been the truth but his actions opposed everything that he said to me even after I told him how loving him makes my life complete.People warned me about him and I didn't want to believe In what they were saying about him because I believe in change,I believed that he changed oh no he proved me wrong ,he showed me that he's not going to change anytime soon. They told me that he's gonna break my heart but I didn't believe in it , They told me that I'm not the only one he's seeing still I refused to believe in that because you know why??his looks were telling a different story . Everything that people said about him was true I just wish the girls he's fooling would actually see him for who he really is Before it's too late because nothing hurt like planning a future with someone who's not real, someone who's not into you the way you are to them .I can't believe I fell for his lies so many times ,he made me believe that love comes in so many different ways and I believed that crap ,I mean how stupid have I been trying to force him to love me when I could see he's not interested.People talked about me about how I don't know my worth , I'm actually letting him take advantage of me well here's something you all should know having to feel love again after losing my parents came as a blessing.it was not so easy to let go of him whereas he made me feel safe again and yes today I managed to let him go because I also want to be happy ,I also want to be the real me. He's been real with himself now I should be real with myself too .Taking the last breath in love shall determine what I should expect in the future .For I believe beholds the greatest I could ever imagine. I've learnt that Fate brings you together, but it is still up to you to make it happen. We may meet someone by chance, but loving and staying with that someone is still a choice.I made a choice to stop loving and leave for my sake ,for my happiness and peace .I Remember when he said these words "Tshegofatso I'm even planning on engaging you as soon as you're done with everything I'm planning on engaging you I want to show how serious I am about you"??that was just to blind me .I Wonder how many girls got to hear those words and ended up going to bed crying every night Chapter 5 Everything seemed so easy for him , playing girls the way he wants.I don't regret being in love with him because some of the times we spent together made me realise that I deserve better.What really took my breath away was when he actually cheated infront of me and tried to deny it . That's when I saw him for what he really was.All the times that I protected him when people were trying to ruin his life ,I was there every step of the way whenever he needed help with something I was there when he needed someone to talk to I would clear my schedule just to be there for him . I hardly had time for myself because I was trying to be the best girlfriend to him .I Guess I was being too much for him ,I was loving him too much and he just couldn't handle it .I understand that sometimes love can change you from being a bad person to being a good one and it was clear enough that he didn't wanna change,he wanted to remain in his rotten lifestyle.We all have different lifestyles and how we managed them but if he thought I was going to settle for his lifestyle he had another thing coming,I never raised my voice at him ,I was always calm when talking to him even when I was mad .He would avoid my texts for days and when he replies them he always starts afresh as if nothing happened that's how selfish he was . People would think that I'm bad-mouthing him but I'm not I'm just being honest about the type of person he really is . Episode 2 coming soon