His Child

Chapter 4

~Y/n's Pov~

How? How is this possible? Well i know that its possible, but we always used condoms, or i was on birth control. There have been times where we forgot to use them, but i always took the morning after pills.

 It had to be after Joons birthday. But we used a condom. Well the condom can break, I was too distracted to notice.

What am i gonna do? I don't even know if Namjoon wants any kids, we've never talked about that. He's an idol, and hes always busy, how can he find time for a child? 

OH MY GOD, HES AN IDOL!! I cant do this to him. He'll get in trouble, his fans might find out, and It'll ruin his reputation.

I know like hell I'm not gonna abort the baby. I could never. I know other people do it because they have no choice, and i have nothing against that, But I'm not gonna abort my baby. What about Namjoon though? Would he even want a child? 

I have to go, far away from here, i don't wanna ruin his reputation and cause people to hate him. South Korea is a very scary place when it comes to Idols and power. Namjoon's reputation could be over in a matter of minutes if word gets out.

Tears falling down my face while driving home, i think about that. I love Namjoon so much, and I don't want to hurt him. I might have to leave to stop from hurting him But what if he doesn't want me to leave? What if I'm hurting him by leaving? 

Pulling up to the security gate, I roll the window down to see my best friend, Donghun. Quickly wiping my tears away, i look up and smile. 

Donghun is one of the security guards at Hannam the hill. Its a good thing they have security because a lot of celebrities live here, and they all have sasaengs so its a good thing its security. Donghun is the only one that knows about me and Namjoon, aside from the members of BTS, TxT, the ceo, Their hyung, Lee Hyun, and their managers.

"Whats wrong, y/n? Are you crying?" He says

Forcing a smile, I tell him "Yeah, I'm fine, something got into my eyes. Its probably the fine dust"

After asking me where Namjoon was, and me replying with 'at the company ', he let me in. Getting out of the car, i head up to me and Joons shared apartment.

After a while, Joon came back, around 8:00 and now were currently cuddling, watching a movie in some comfy clothes. I wasnt really paying attention, i was still thinking about how i was going to leave. I know it seems selfish, but i want to at least spend one more week with him, and let the baby spend some time with its father, even if it doesn't know of feel his presence.

 And i know that i could  just tell him about it, but i don't even know if he wants children. We never talked about it. "Y/n, I called your name about five times already, you okay? Soobin told me that you were going to the hospital to see what was wrong, and ever since I came back you've been acting weird. What did the doctors say?

Startled, I turned my head to where namjoon was faced. He looked worried again. "Umm, yeah I'm okay, T-the doctor said it was just morning sickness." I lied. I've never lied to joon. We always talked everything out, but i don't think we can talk this out because A. what if he doesn't want kids? And B. What if he tells his fans? That would ruin his career. I know some of the fans would be happy, but a lot of them wouldn't.

"And I didnt hear you, what did you say?''

" Oh, well thats good, i thought something was wrong. And I asked if you were hungry." He said, giving me a smile.

"Umm, yeah. Do you want me to fix some sandwiches?" I asked.

"No, its okay, ill go fix them." As he got up to leave, I instantly felt cold. God, I'm gonna miss his cuddles. Who am I kidding I'm gonna miss everything. His, cuddles, His smile. His little giggles when I did something he thought was cute. His way of making me feel like i could do it when i just wanted to give up. Thinking of all the memories we had over the 9 years we've been together, tears stated falling down my cheeks, and for the second time today, I started crying. I was trying to be silent, to avoid Joon hearing, but i guess luck wasnt on my side.

"Y/n, whats wrong. Why are you crying?" Gasping, i look over with wide eyes, to see joon looking worried, putting the plates of sandwiches down, and sitting close to me.

"Oh, nothings wrong, uhh...t-the movie is just a little sad." Apparently, luck was on my side this time, because when we looked over, the couple on the screen was breaking up in the rain.

Smiling, Joon handed me a sandwich, which I thankfully took, and ate a big bite. It was soo good. Moaning, i took another bite, and withing 2 minutes i was done, while Joon was still eating his.

Laughing, he handed me another one. "Someones hungry I see." Taking another bite, I say "Yerp" But immediately closing it, putting my hand over my mouth, embarrassed. Swallowing my food, I turn the other way, my cheeks turning a shake of pink.

Joon only laughs, and grabs my face softly, to face him. He brushes some strands of hair out of my face, while staring intently at me, making my cheeks turn a darker shade of pink. "What am i gonna do with you, you cutie?" He said while smiling, showing his dimples. 

He leans in and places a soft, gentle kiss on my lips, and I respond back. He bites my lip.I gasped, and he used that push his tongue into my mouth. I forget about everything else, the worries, the sadness, and just concentrate on Joon. 

 Inhaling his sent, I moan, he smells like cinnamon and peppermints. His hands grab my waist, and he gently places me on his lap, my legs on either side of his.

Wrapping my arm around his neck, I tangle my hands in his soft hair, the way he likes it. He groans, and pulls me closer to him, making me feel him through both of our clothing.  

He pulls away to let me breathe, and trails kisses up and down my neck. Now, being the hot and bothered mess that I am, I moan. Loudly. I put my hands under his shirt, to feel his perfectly toned chest, and he groans again, putting his hands on my thighs. He kisses me again, and this time I take control.

I suck on his lip, and this time, he moans lightly. Our tongues fighting for dominance, and he won. He trails his hands up and down my waist.

 I pull away, to see Joon breathing heavily, looking at me with swollen lips and lowered eyes. This time, I lean towards his neck, and start sucking and nibbling on it, one of my hands holding one , while the other trails up and down his forearms.

He groans again and said "Y/n, we have to stop. Unless you want to go further?"  Pulling away, I was about to say yes, but then my stupid brain decided it needed more energy and I yawned. Covering my mouth, I say "I didn't yawn. That was you"

He giggles, then picks me up making me squeal, wrap my legs around his waist, and my arms around his shoulder. "Where are you taking me?" I ask, exited

"To the bedroom, you need sleep. I'm gonna take you somewhere tomorrow, and you need all the energy you can get" He smiles at me, and gives me a small peck.

Kicking the door open lightly, he steps into the room, pull the covers back, and lays me down on the bed. Not wanting to let go of him just yet,  I pull him into the bed. and he falls partially on me, but quickly rolls over, afraid of squishing me.

I giggle, and wrap my arms around him. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me closer. I put my head on his chest the way he likes me to, and we both drift of into the dream land.