Plenty of Fish

It was a rainy Tuesday afternoon, and I had finished up at work just before lunch hour. My fiancé had seemed off so I thought a surprise lunch would cheer him up a bit to make it through another work week. But little did I know I’d be the one surprised at lunch. I grabbed sushi and chicken fried rice from his favorite hibachi restaurant and headed to his office, when I arrived the desk lady looked shocked to see me which, given it was the middle of a Tuesday, but it was strange because me and my fiancé, Mark ate lunch together semi regularly. But today wasn’t planned so maybe she was just surprised I had managed to get out of work. I would soon find out that was not why her face was filled with shock. I waved and greeted her briefly as I walked past into Marks office door. She tried to say something to me, probably trying to warn me or throw me off, but I didn’t pay attention in time to catch how off the situation was, but when I opened the door there was a woman sitting on the desk in a short pencil skirt and red blouse. She had long deep chocolate colored hair and her legs were beautifully crossed. She sat there on that desk too comfortably for it to have been a coincidence or anything other then what it was. Mark was sitting strait in his chair, with his shoulders pulled back either trying to make his shoulders and chest look bigger or his beer belly smaller. None the matter they sat there laughing and enjoying a packed lunch together. His smile turned to shock and shame as soon as he saw me in the doorway, at the look of his face her giggle faded and she too turned to look at me. She was stunning, and that hurt even more, “Hey doll did you need something? Mr. Schroder is on his lunch break for another 15 minutes.” She said in a ditsy joyous voice. Trying so sound more angry then hurt I responded “well I was here to share a lunch with my fiancé but it looks like you’ve got that taken care of,” I pushed my tears back and forced an obviously fake smile. I walked over to the desk and sat the hibachi beside the woman’s thigh and placed my engagement ring on top and managed to make it out of the room before breaking into tears. I headed strait home and packed his clothes and toiletries into three big suitcases and sat them on the porch, dead bolted both doors and went to bed. I sent my boss a phony sick message and took three sick days. Those three days I only left my bed to use the bathroom, but I couldn’t sleep well I just laid there, it what I assume a coma would feel like. My phone rang off the hook until it died, but I didn’t plug it in. Saturday morning my mom showed up, claiming to be worried sick, and she probably was. I hadn’t told anyone what had happened I just disappeared for days. But she beat the door damn near to the ground until I finally peeled my self from the sheets to unlock it. I didn’t even get the door opened all the way before she started interrogating me, where have you been? What’s wrong with your phone? Why weren’t you at work? Why have you been crying? You look awful? Have you eaten? Showered? Where’s Mark? Why hasn’t he responded to me? You guys almost gave me a heart attack! And I just started sobbing. That’s all I could do, I couldn’t even find the words to tell my mother. She stopped talking and hugged me until I pulled my self back together enough to speak, Mark is seeing someone else, and I’ve been in bed. Her face looked just about as shocked as he did when I walked through that office door. She sat with me while I told her everything in-between episodes of crying and anger. She didn’t have a lot to say once I was finished with the story though, I think she was still shocked. Mark and I had been together since our junior year of high school, and he had seemed like the perfect man all those years, how could it have come to this? But she cooked me lunch and plugged my phone in, “I know it’s really hard, and your not okay right now. But you can’t shut the world out you are still a part of it.” She handed me the phone and headed towards the kitchen to clean up. I checked my voicemail and texts, emails, social medias. And he had blown up every one with apologies and excuses. He said I was never intended to find out that way but that he had been wanting to tell me. How could it have been like that for him with no signs to me that something was even wrong? I couldn’t bring myself to answer any of them. But my mother coming that day did help a lot. I spent Sunday putting my house back together, and woke up for work on Monday and made breakfast. I survived by simply putting my focus into work. After about two weeks of that though I was back into the deep end of the depression pool. Work wasn’t enough to distract me. I didn’t know where else to focus my energy because every time I had a free moment to think, all I could think about was Mark.