When Love Is Not Enough

Chapter 1

- I’ve never felt this betrayed before, I was humiliated, hurt, and sadder than I’ve ever been before. Not only did Simon just break up with me but he got into a relationship with someone else and not anybody, one of my closest friends. And no one thought it was wrong, none of my friends, the only one who cared was my best friend. I’ll never forget the feeling of not feeling like I was enough, like I wasn’t worthy, or like no one cared about my feelings. It really did something to me and I can’t seem to really get over it. 

My therapist looked at me with understanding eyes while she nodded her head. 

- Do you still feel like you’re not enough Nora? She asked while looking down at her notepad. - Well, sometimes I do. I think I’m just very afraid of being let down again, being left and not understanding why or what I did wrong. I guess I feel insecure about why someone would actually love me. This realization made me feel quite uneasy and frankly, sad.  I started looking around her small office while my mind took me back to those four years ago when it all happened.

I had been crushing on Simon since I first saw him and he obviously knew. When we first met he had a girlfriend, Sasha and she was probably great. I never dared to say anything at that time but I was secretly hoping. Then one day they had broken up, and I really hoped he would go for me. He was always so kind and flirty and made me feel special. 

One lucky day he finally asked me out and fast forward, we were a couple, boyfriend and girlfriend, and I hadn’t been happier. Then almost two years later, Sasha shows up from nowhere and meets up with Simon where she tells him what a shitty boyfriend he was to her and that he was the worst and all that s**t. And honestly, he probably wasn’t a good boyfriend to her, but anyhow, he decided to listen to all this crap and came to the conclusion that he was awful and did not deserve happiness. So he called me saying I deserved better than him, that he would hurt me and that he did not want to hurt a girl that was actually nice and one that deserved better. So he suggested we take a break and my stupid ass thought he just got scared of what she had said.

So I waited for two weeks and out of the blue he and one of my close friends, Maya, had started dating. I was in shock, who did that to their friend? How could he just let me go that easily? Was I not worth anything at all, not even an explanation? Why did not any of our friends react? I had so many questions but all I could think about was how sad I was.

My therapist brought me back from my memories and I felt something warm on my cheek, one lonely tear.