When Love Is Not Enough

Chapter 2

I was staring into the eyes of that brunette I saw in the mirror, she reminded me of me, but something wasn’t right. I lacked that spark everyone was talking about, there was not a trace of life behind my brown eyes. Hopefully, concealer and mascara can help me cover that up. I opened up my make up bag to get the concealer when my phone started buzzing. It was my best friend Lizzie, I put her on speaker so I could get ready at the same time.

- Hey Lizzie! What’s up? - Hey! I was just wondering what you’ll wear to the meeting today? And can I get a ride, Ben has our car, Lizzie answered while I could hear her going through her hangers in her closet. - Uhm, I was just thinking business casual, maybe my navy blue suit or a blouse and a skirt. And sure, I’ll pick you up. I’ll be there at 8.30 so I'll have time to pick up some coffee. - Okay great! Yes, I’ll definitely need some coffee this morning, Lizzie answered with a hint of glee in her voice. - Great, I’ll get you a double macchiato as usual. See you soon.

I hung up and applied the concealer under my eyes. I actually look better and feel much better now when I look a little more rested. I continued applying some mascara and was feeling much better so I continued and added some blush on my cheeks. When I looked at the brunette in the mirror this time she looked much better, and I felt more like myself again. I felt more alive again and that feeling was amazing. I have missed feeling this way, it doesn’t happen too often and I need to change that. I need to get over all the s**t I’ve been through the last couple of years but it’s easier said than done. There is a lot I need to go through and process and it has taken its toll on me. It has made me feel inadequate and sometimes worthless. I love myself and feel secure in who I have become, but these feelings overwhelm me from time to time and they are always there in the back of my head when things go a little too well.

I finished up applying blush and combed through my long brown hair. I looked at my phone, it’s already 8.00 am and I need to hurry. I put a hair clip with shiny pearls in my hair since I don’t have time to style it. I went over to my closet and decided to wear my violet blouse and tucked it in my black pencil skirt. My blouse is loose at the bottom so it looks good with my tighter pencil skirt. I put on my black pumps and grab my coat, keys and, phone on the way out. I get in my car and head towards Lizzies' place. Thankfully the traffic was light and the line at Starbucks drive-thru wasn’t that long. I grabbed our coffee and drove off to Lizzies again. I arrived just in time and while I parked at the curb she came out of her apartment building. She got in my car, I signaled to enter the lane and when I saw an opening I pulled out into traffic. Now we have our big meeting at our office to worry about.